| How to Deal with Attention Seeking Adults Posted: 25 Jun 2018 01:00 AM PDT Frequent dramatic displays, exaggerated stories, and over-the-top conflict are often the signs of an attention seeker. If someone is bothering you with these behaviors, the best thing to do is to ignore their antics. Strong personal boundaries can help you stay calm and in control. If the attention seeker is a loved one, however, you might want to see if you can help them overcome their behaviors with the assistance of a mental health professional. EditReacting to Their Behavior - Ignore them if they do something that bothers you. Ignoring the behavior is the best way to show that it won't get any attention from you. Don't look at the attention seeker or ask them to stop. Just simply pretend as though they aren't doing it.[1]
- Many attention seekers enjoy negative as well as positive attention. For example, they might whistle because they know it will annoy you and you will snap at them. As hard as it might be, ignore the whistling in the future. Use ear plugs or listen to music while it happens.
- If the person uses stories to get your attention, make an excuse not to listen to them. For example, you might say, "I have to get work done now" or "I'm sorry, but I'm busy at the moment."
- Remain calm during their antics. If you can't ignore the person, try not to show any emotion while interacting with them. Don't express anger, frustration, or excitement. Don't fake being interested either. Just keep a cool, calm expression.[2]
- For example, if your coworker sits down beside you and starts talking about an argument with your boss, just nod your head along. When they finish, tell them that you need to get back to work.
- Try not to ask any questions if they are telling a story. Respond using short statements like "that's nice" or "okay" instead.
- That said, if the person has a genuinely good idea or a fun story, don't be afraid to show your interest. Everyone needs genuine attention now and then. If you're actually interested in their hobbies or stories, you might enjoy the conversation.
- Ask for just the facts if they try to play the victim. Playing the victim is a common way for attention seekers to gain sympathy and compliments. They may tell a dramatic story in which they were targeted and insulted. In response, ask objective questions about the facts of the story, not about the storyteller's emotions or perspective.[3]
- For example, if they're ranting about how a cashier was rude to them, you might say, "What did they say exactly? Did they really call you that to your face? Where was the manager?"
- Learn to walk away during dangerous or extreme situations. Attention seekers do what they do for a reaction. Some may engage in increasingly dramatic displays for attention. If the situation gets too much to handle, walk away. This will send them a sign that their antics will not give them the reaction that they want.[4]
- Don't reward dangerous stunts or pranks with attention. If attention seeker engages in risky activities for attention, tell them outright, "I don't like seeing you harm yourself. If this continues, I'm not sure we can hang out."
- If you think the person is in danger of hurting themselves or another person, get them help as soon as possible. Some signs that they may be thinking of suicide include talking about their death, giving away their possessions, or increasing their use of alcohol or drugs.[5]
- If the person has numerous public displays of crying, screaming, or shouting, you may want to suggest that they see a mental health professional.
EditEstablishing Boundaries - Tell them what behavior you will and won't tolerate. Make sure that the attention seeker understands that you won't deal with certain behaviors. If they know that a certain activity won't get attention from you, they might stop doing it in the future.[6]
- For example, if you don't want them touching you, you might tell them, "Would you mind not tapping or grabbing me when you want my attention? How about you knock on my desk if you need me." Ignore any future touching.
- You might also say something like, "I know you're fond of parkour, but I get nervous when you show me videos of you jumping off buildings. Please don't show me anymore."
- Set time limits for conversations and talks. An attention seeker can quickly take up your day with their stories and needs. To help you break away, tell them at the beginning exactly how long you have to hang out or talk. When time is up, the conversation is over.[7]
- For example, if they call you, you might say, "Hey, I can only talk for 15 minutes. What's up?"
- If you're hanging out with them, try saying something like, "Let's get lunch, but I have to leave by 2:00."
- Set an alarm on your phone to tell you when you need to cut off the conversation. When it goes off, it is a signal to you and the other person that the conversation has to end.
- Stop following their social media accounts. Some people might overshare or post too much too on social media, like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. If these posts are annoying you, just unfriend the person or remove their posts from your feed.[8]
- Posting too much on social media might be a sign that the person wants more of a human connection. If this is someone you care about, reach out to them by phone or in person, and ask them to hang out.
- If they post controversial material on social media, you may be tempted to leave a comment or respond. Try to resist this urge.
- Minimize contact if they are causing stress, anxiety, or annoyance. If the attention seeker is creating too much of a burden in your life, cut off contact if possible. If this isn't possible, reduce your interactions as much as possible.[9]
- For family members, you might schedule 1 phone call a month or exchange pleasantries at family events. You don't have to constantly accept their calls, however.
- Tell attention-seeking coworkers that you prefer only to discuss work-related matters, especially in the office. If they try to come to you with office drama, give them a time limit before returning to work.
EditSupporting Loved Ones - Determine if there is an underlying cause to their behavior. Attention-seeking behaviors can sometimes be a result of trauma, neglect, or other stressful situations. It can also be a sign of low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy. If this is someone you care about, try to find a time to chat to see if there is something that is causing this behavior.[10]
- You might start this conversation by saying, "Hey, I want to check in. Has everything been going all right lately?"
- If the other person doesn't want to talk, they don't have to. You can simply tell them something like, "If you ever do want to talk, just let me know."
- Boost their self-esteem when they are not actively seeking your attention. Your loved one might be worried that no one will care for them if they don't constantly seek out their attention and approval. Let the person know that you will love them, even when you're not directly paying them attention.[11]
- You might send them a random text that says, "Hey, I was just thinking about you. Hope you're having a great day!" or "I just want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do."
- You even tell them something like, "Even if we're apart, you're still important to me."
- It is important to approach them yourself so that they don't have a chance to try to grab your attention. This will help reassure them that they don't need to resort to drama or conflict to get positive attention.
- Suggest that they get professional help if you think they will hurt themselves. Extreme behavior might manifest as threatening to hurt or kill themselves, locking themselves in rooms, or breaking down over minor events. These are usually signs of underlying mental health issues. The good news is, your loved one can get support and treatment from a mental health professional.[12]
- You might tell your loved one, "I've noticed that you seemed really upset lately. I love you, and I want to make sure you get the help you need."
- These behaviors may be a call for help. Try not to dismiss these threats as just attention seeking. They may very well be legitimate.
- Personality disorders, like Histrionic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder, may cause people to engage in extreme attention-seeking behaviors.
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| How to Get Rid of Milia Posted: 24 Jun 2018 05:00 PM PDT Milia are tiny white bumps that can afflict your skin at any age, though they are most common in infants. Milia pose no threat to you and are mostly a cosmetic annoyance. In most cases, they will go away on their own. If they are really bothering you, however, there are a few things you can do to encourage the process and speed it up. Try some home remedies or consult a skin-care professional to begin your journey towards brighter skin! EditTrying Home Remedies - Clean your face daily for clear skin. Start getting rid of milia by getting into a good skincare routine. Make sure to wash your face with warm water twice a day. You should use a light, gentle cleanser. Try choosing one that specifies "gentle" or "sensitive skin." [1]
- Gently rub the cleanser into your skin for 20-30 seconds. Rinse thoroughly, and pat dry with a clean, dry towel.
- Use an exfoliator to help clear your skin. Teens and adults should treat milia with an exfoliating treatment. You could either go for an exfoliating moisturizer or a targeted exfoliating product.
- An exfoliating moisturizer is a good idea if your milia are widespread and accompanied by dry skin. The moisturizer will reduce the build-up of dead skin cells below your skin and the exfoliating aspect will allow your skin to release the dead cells that have already accumulated.
- Look for a moisturizer that contains vitamin A. It should also be free of any heavy oils.[2]
- A targeted exfoliating treatment is best if you have a few milia that you want to get rid of, but otherwise have no skin problems. Choose a targeted treatment containing salicylic acid.
- The treatment should be applied directly to the milia once daily until they disappear. Check the label to follow specific instructions for that product.[3]
- Add products with Retinol to your routine for brighter looking skin. Retinol is commonly used to fight acne and signs of aging. It has exfoliating properties that keep your skin soft and clear. For best results, use a targeted Retinol lotion and apply it directly to the area of your skin affected by the milia.[4]
- Wait roughly 30 minutes after you wash your face before using the Retinol.
- Apply a pea-sized drop of retinol to the milia-covered area of your face every other night.
- Do not apply Retinol to the upper eyelid since it can cause irritation and damage if it gets into your eyes.
- Try an at-home chemical peel. Peels are one of the most effective ways to get rid of milia because they are basically a deep chemical exfoliant for your skin. If you can't afford to see a dermatologist, don't worry. There are lots of at-home chemical peels that work great and are easy to use.[5]
- Look for ingredients such as lactic and glycolic acid.
- Follow the instructions on the package. Directions will vary depending on which peel you choose.
- Use steam to open your pores. Opening and cleaning your pores is a great way to have clearer skin. To steam your pores, fill a large bowl with almost boiling water. Carefully lean over the bowl with your face near the water. Drape a towel over your head to keep the steam in, and stay like that for 5-10 minutes.[6]
- Alternatively, you could run a hot shower with your bathroom door closed and the fan off. The room should get pretty steamy. Sit in the steam for 5-10 minutes.
- Make an egg mask 3 times a week. Eggs contain retinol, so they can help clear up your skin. To make an easy mask, combine 1 egg white, ½ tsp almond oil, 1 tbsp plain yogurt, 1 tbsp raw honey. Mix into a paste and apply to areas with milia.[7]
- Leave the mask on for 30 minutes, then rinse with warm water and pat dry.
- Use this mask 3 times a week to see the best results.
EditSeeking Professional Help - See a dermatologist if home remedies don't work for you. If you find that home remedies aren't helping get rid of the milia, make an appointment to see a dermatologist. Try jotting down some notes before your appointment so that you can give them specific information. Think about how long you've dealt with milia, and how frequently it appears. [8]
- Ask family or friends for a recommendation to a dermatologist they trust. You can also look at online reviews to find one with a good reputation.
- Remember that milia is really common, and not a bad thing to have. You only need to take steps to get rid of it if it is bothering you.
- Schedule a professional chemical peel. A dermatologist will be able to apply a stronger chemical peel than you can at home. Talk to your dermatologist about your expectations and they can decide whether you need a light peel or a more aggressive peel. The peel will not hurt.[9]
- After the peel, your skin might be red and feel irritated for a few days.
- Follow the dermatologist's instructions on how to care for your skin after a peel.
- Get professional extractions or laser ablations for a deep cleanse. During extractions, a professional will use either a special tool or their hands to unclog your skin. Extractions are usually not painful, but you might feel a little pressure on stubborn spots. You can schedule a facial with extractions with either a dermatologist or aesthetician. [10]
- Laser ablation accomplishes the same goals as extractions but does so using a laser beam. The laser is put on a low setting and heats up the material clogging your skin to a point where it evaporates or sublimates.
- Follow all instructions after an extraction. You might need to lay off products with Retinol for a day or 2, or go makeup-free for the rest of the day.
- If you don't want to get extractions, you don't have to! Milia is a cosmetic concern, and won't hurt you if it doesn't go away.
EditTaking Supplements Approved by Your Doctor - Try niacin supplements. [11] Niacin, or vitamin B3, is an important nutrient that is thought to help maintain multiple systems in your body. Among its benefits, many believe that niacin helps maintain healthy skin and is capable of treating milia.
- Talk to your doctor before taking any supplements.
- Note that there is no scientific evidence to support the claim that niacin can get rid of milia faster.
- If you do not already take niacin supplements, begin by taking a small dose of 100 mg daily. Do not exceed 1500 mg of niacin daily since large doses have the potential to cause liver damage.
- Only use pure niacin supplements, since these are less likely to contain harmful toxins or additives.
- Consider biotin supplements. This co-enzyme and B vitamin is also known as vitamin H.[12] Most people take in enough biotin through diet alone, but if you suspect that you may need more, you can also take it in supplement form.
- Ask your doctor before trying new supplements.
- Biotin is thought to have multiple benefits. It supports adequate skin health, which means that it may help your skin to release the milia quicker.
- Note that there are no scientific studies capable of backing this claim, however.
- Adults should only take 25 to 35 mcg of biotin a day.
- Increase your intake of CoQ10. Increasing the amount of CoQ10 your body gets can be done naturally and without the use of supplements. Your body produces CoQ10 when you exercise, and the vitamin can also be found in foods like meat and fish.This vitamin is thought to help maintain many of your body's systems and functions and may help improve the health of your skin.[13]
- Note that there is no scientific evidence to support a direct link between CoQ10 and milia. However, it is generally considered safe. Talk to your doctor before taking any supplements.
- CoQ10 acts as an emulsifier, so it removes oils from the body. By allowing your body to flush these oils out more easily, it may be able to help the pores blocked with milia to flush out any dead skin cells, as well.
EditPreventing Milia - Reduce your sun exposure. Milia can worsen with sun damage. This is especially true if you are suffering from secondary milia, which is caused by blistering. A sunburn can result in the spread or prolonged existence of milia, so cutting down on sun exposure will let you get rid of milia faster.
- Stay out of direct sunlight as much as possible. When spending time outside, wear a hat to shade your face.[14]
- Apply a gentle oil-free sunblock specially formulated for facial care. A heavy, oily sunblock will only clog your pores more, making it harder to exfoliating the trapped dead cells causing the milia.
- A light sunblock can offer protection from the sun without clogging your pores, though. Look for a light one with a minimum SPF of 15 or above.
- Avoid heavy cosmetics or creams. You may be tempted to conceal your milia with makeup, but doing so will only prolong their stay. It will also welcome more dirt onto your face, making your milia harder to get rid of.
- Cosmetics and heavy creams stay on your skin, blocking your pores. In order to get rid of your milia, you need to be able to exfoliate away dead skin cells. Doing so will be much more difficult if your pores are blocked by makeup, though.
- Make good skin care a part of your daily routine. You might not be able to completely prevent milia, but you can take steps to make flare-ups less frequent. Make it a point to take care of your skin each day. Wash your face, moisturize, and stay hydrated. You might also consider getting regular facials if your budget allows.
- Ask your dermatologist or aesthetician about products that are best for your skin.
- Remember that everyone's skin is different, so keep trying new things until you find the remedy that is best for you.
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| How to Buy a Stand Up Paddle Board Posted: 24 Jun 2018 09:00 AM PDT Stand up paddleboarding is currently one of the fastest growing watersports out there. There are so many ways to do it, so finding the right stand up paddleboard (SUP) can seem like a complicated task. But it doesn't have to be! Consider what type of boarding you like to do, your size, and additional SUP features when choosing your board. EditChoosing a Type of Board - Get an all-around, recreational, or touring board for multipurpose use. Multipurpose SUPs are the standard boards chosen by beginners, and they're typically used for flat-water paddling on lakes, bays, and slow rivers. These boards are longer, wider, and have more volume than surfing or racing boards.
- These boards are typically made of fiberglass, which makes them light and easy to carry. Occasionally you will find plastic ones that are less expensive, but are also much heavier.
- Choose a surfing board to ride waves. Surfing paddleboards are usually shorter, narrower, and lighter than the other types of boards and they have a narrow nose and tail. They are designed for doing quick turns and specifically meant for use in the surf zone.[1]
- Get this type of board only if you're going to use it for surfing. They are less stable than longer boards and don't work well on long-distance paddles.
- Buy a racing board if you're an experienced paddleboarder. Race boards are longer and narrower than standard or surfing boards, and they're meant for fast wave-riding competition. They can be pretty unstable unless they're moving forward at a high speed, and should only be used by more advanced paddleboarders.[2]
- Get a whitewater board for fast river use. Whitewater SUPs are typically short to make them more easily maneuverable. They contain a rocker, or curve in the board, to allow the boards to ride over waves. These boards often are inflatable, making them light and more buoyant on the water.[3]
- Choose a yoga or fitness board to practice yoga on the water. Yoga and fitness boards are wider and longer than wave or multipurpose boards. They also typically have a softer top, and include places to clip on various exercise tools.[4]
- These boards often come with ways to anchor the boards so that you can stop drifting while exercising. Look into anchoring capabilities if you find a fitness board that doesn't already come with an anchor.
- Look for an inflatable board if storage is an issue. If you live in an apartment, or have a small car that makes transporting a large board a problem, an inflatable board may be the right answer for you. Inflatable boards work well for both flatwater and river use.[5]
- These boards typically aren't stable enough for wave riding, so avoid getting one if you plan to surf.
- Inflatable boards generally have a shorter life-span of about 2 years than their non-inflatable counterparts.
EditFinding the Right Size - Get a board if you weigh under . In general, people buy certain SUP lengths dependent on how much weight the board will carry. The lighter you are, the safer a shorter board will be for you. If you will be sharing your SUP with anyone on the water, like your kids or other family members, go with a longer board to make sure it can hold the extra weight.[6]
- If you're very light, or , and will be riding alone, you can also opt for the shortest all-around boards, which are .
- Use a board if you weigh . The medium weight class will need a medium length board in most cases. Many all-around boards come in this size. This size is often the easiest to find for multipurpose use.[7]
- Choose a board that's longer than if you weigh . These longest boards are often wider as well, making them safer to balance more weight. If your weight or your combined family weight is , plan on going with the largest available board.[8]
- Follow a volume recommendation if you plan to surf. The surfing SUP sizing often goes by volume recommendations instead of length, since they are all shorter boards. This system has you multiply your body weight by a certain decimal depending on your experience level, to get a volume recommendation number.[9]
- For example, beginners would multiply their body weight in pounds by 1 to 1.4.
- Intermediates would multiply their body weight by 0.8 to 1.
- Advanced surfers would multiply theirs by 0.6 to 0.8.
- The resulting number gives you a board volume recommendation in liters.
EditChoosing Addition SUP Features - Choose a board with a thick, high-traction deck pad for safety. The deck pad is one of the most important SUP features for new riders. Some boards come with full-length deck pads, but you don't necessarily need this. What matters most is that it's relatively thick and has a good traction pattern.[10]
- Spend some time comparing deck pad thicknesses between boards you're looking at, and go with the thicker padding. Thicker padding is much more comfortable for longer paddles.
- Find a board with a built-in carry handle for convenience. Trying to carry your board without a built-in carry handle, located in the center and typically made of similar material as the deck pad, can be a major hassle. The centralized carry handle allows you to carry the board against your hip with its weight distributed evenly.[11]
- Most boards come with the centralized carry handle, but if you happen to buy one that doesn't, you can wrap your arms around your board or try to carry it over your head.
- Get a leash depending for distance paddling or surfing. A board with a leash attachment allows you to clip a leash to a recessed crossbar located toward the tail of the board. Leashes are great for long-distance paddling or surfing, but they're not recommended for whitewater SUPs unless there is a quick-release mechanism.
- Some boards also come with tie-down attachments, which can be great for long-distance paddling if you're bringing a dry pack or other gear.
- Get a board with more than 1 fin for surfing. SUPs come with anywhere from 1 to 5 fins. For boards used on flatwater like lakes and ponds, 1 fin works well. The more fins your board has, the more specialized and surf-oriented it is.[12]
- Some boards have a versatile tri-fin setup, which allows you to choose between 1 large center fin for calm water or 2 side fins for the surf.
- Get a fiberglass board for a practical option. The most common material for SUPs is fiberglass because it is strong for its weight and easy to shape. Most fiberglass boards are only , making them manageable to carry.[13]
- The material of these boards can still crack, so avoid using a fiberglass board around rocks or dropping it on pavement.
- Fiberglass boards cost more than plastic boards, but are worth the money if you're pretty serious about paddleboarding as a regular hobby.
- Choose a plastic board to save money. If you're a beginner and are just trying out stand-up paddleboarding, but aren't yet sure if it's the activity for you, you can save some cash by going with a plastic board. These boards are heavier at around , making them more inconvenient to carry and slower on the water.[14]
- Another plus side to these boards, aside from the lower price, is that they're virtually indestructible.
- Go with all carbon fiber if you're a serious paddleboarder. If you're an experienced surf or race paddleboarder, consider going with an all carbon fiber board. These are by far the lightest boards, and also the most expensive. However, the light weight will help increase your speed in races, so it can be worth it if you're at the advanced competitor level.[15]
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