| How to Teach Someone to Love Themselves Posted: 24 Jun 2018 01:00 AM PDT Self-love is sometimes dismissed as selfish or arrogant. However, it's a vital and often overlooked aspect of mental health. If you want to teach someone to love themselves, help them build their self-esteem, and provide tips on keeping negative thoughts in check. In addition, explain how they can put self-love into practice by maintaining their physical and emotional well-being. EditCultivating Self-Esteem - Stress that they shouldn't feel guilty about loving themselves. Some people think that self-love is selfish, and that feeling good about yourself is arrogant. If the person you're helping is guilty about self-love, emphasize that there's nothing wrong with having a positive self-image.[1]
- Explain that healthy self-love involves recognizing their strengths, accepting their weaknesses, being proud of their achievements.
- Distinguish healthy self-love from boasting about accomplishments to make others feel bad, which is probably a sign of low self-esteem.
- Mention that taking care of themselves is part of self-love. For example, taking time off from work to avoid burnout isn't selfish. It's a necessary part of maintaining physical and mental health.
- Remind them that self-love is not the same as selfishness. Instead, describe it as being "self-full." This means loving and caring for themselves, which ultimately will make it easier for them be there for others.[2]
- Tell them to make a list of their positive qualities. Have them write down their talents, their positive personality traits, and the hobbies they enjoy. Examples might include gardening, having a great sense of humor, or being good at a sport.[3]
- If they have trouble coming up with positive traits, let them know what you admire about them. Say, "You have so many great qualities! You're a hard worker, you're great at tennis, and you're always eager to help your family and friends."
- Encourage them to focus on their positive qualities, but try not to be bossy or give your loved one unsolicited advice.
- Explain that self-esteem shouldn't be based on others' opinions. Tell the person you're helping that there are external and internal sources of self-esteem. External sources are based on the opinions of other people, and they're more superficial than internal sources.[4]
- Tell them, "Your self-worth should come from within, not from other people. Instead of wanting to get good grades so other people think you're smart, study hard to reach your personal goals or because you value knowledge."
- Say, "It's fine to feel good when someone compliments you, but don't let other people's opinions define you. Suppose someone makes fun of you for taking piano lessons. You enjoy playing piano and you value music, so their approval shouldn't make a difference."
- Remind them that they shouldn't compare themselves to others. Everyone has different abilities, qualities, and passions, so tell your loved one to accept their strengths and weaknesses. Tell them that they shouldn't feel bad about themselves because of someone else's talents or traits.[5]
- Say, "Being jealous of someone or getting mad at yourself won't do you any good. Be happy for someone who possesses a talent you admire. Don't get down on yourself if you don't share that ability. Instead, remind yourself of your own strengths."
- Encourage them to work on things within their control, like getting into better shape or improving their time management skills. However, if they want to be a top gymnast but can't do a cartwheel, tell them they must accept that they can't be good at everything.
- Spending too much time on social media can lead to unhealthy comparisons. If necessary, advise them to limit their screen time.[6]
- Encourage them to help others and volunteer for causes they value. In addition to teaching your loved one to develop a positive mindset, suggest that they help others whenever possible. Helping loved ones and doing charitable work are concrete ways of chipping away at low self-esteem.[7]
- For instance, they could help their friend or relative study or lend a hand with household projects. They could also volunteer for their favorite cause, such as for animal shelter, soup kitchen, or youth mentorship program.
- Tell them, "It's harder to hold onto negative thoughts about yourself when you're helping someone. It's tough to convince yourself that you're no good when you made someone's day better."
EditChallenging Negative Thoughts - Explain how to identify and redirect negative self-talk. Suggest that they call themselves out when they think things like, "I'm not good enough," or "I'll never be able to do this." Advise that they tell themselves, "Stop! These are negative thoughts, they're unproductive, and I have the power to change my thought process."[8]
- Ask them, "Would you tell a close friend 'You're a bad person,' or criticize them harshly? More likely, you'd let them know they need to work on something in a much nicer way. Instead of practicing negative self-talk, treat yourself the way you would treat your friends."[9]
- Suggest that they replace negative thoughts with more neutral or realistic ones. For example, instead of "I'm so dumb, I'll never be good at math," suggest that they tell themselves, "This is a difficult subject for me, but I'm going to work on getting better at it." This can help them transition to a more positive mindset.
- Make sure your friend is interested in hearing tips about controlling negative thoughts. If they don't respond well, it might be best to give them some space instead of forcing the conversation.
- Remind them that negative situations are impermanent. Let your loved one know that you understand how life's obstacles can seem unchanging, insurmountable, and all-encompassing. Tell them to think objectively instead of getting overwhelmed.[10]
- Tell them, "Thinking in absolute, negative terms isn't constructive. Instead of 'I'll never be good at this,' say to yourself, 'If I practice, I can improve,' or 'There are some things I'm not good at, and that's okay.'"
- Say, "Bad things can seem like they'll stick around forever, but nothing is permanent. Think about times that you've dealt with tough situations. Things got better in time; just say to yourself, 'This too shall pass.'"
- Try encouraging them by saying, "Do your best to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You've overcome a lot, and you've become stronger by conquering past obstacles."
- Assure your loved one that everyone makes mistakes. Tell them to forgive themselves for mistakes they've made, from saying something silly to deliberately doing something wrong. Instead of dwelling on the past, suggest that they approach mistakes as opportunities for growth.[11]
- Lots of people lose sleep over making a faux pas or saying something embarrassing. If your loved one dwells on their mistakes, tell them, "Everyone does embarrassing things. You can't change the past, so try to have a sense of humor about it."[12]
- Say, "If you messed up or made a bad decision, don't dwell on what you could have done. Learn from a mistake, move on, and do your best not to do the same thing in the future."
- Ask them to accept things that are beyond their control. Self-acceptance can be difficult, but it's an essential component of healthy self-love. Tell your loved one to be proud of their accomplishments, strive to make improvements where possible, and acknowledge that some things are beyond their control.[13]
- For example, they might criticize themselves for things within their control, such as performing poorly at work or school. They could make improvements by spending more time studying, getting a tutor, pursuing professional development opportunities, or asking their boss for tips on being more efficient.
- However, everyone has to be realistic about limitations beyond their control. For instance, you might say, "It's okay if you feel sad that you didn't get the lead role in the play. The script mentions how short the character is, and you're so tall. Other opportunities will come your way."
EditPracticing Self-Care - Discuss the importance of a strong support system. When someone feels down, their loved ones can help them see the bigger picture. Tell the person you're helping that their friends and family can remind them that they're lovable no matter what. Additionally, mention that it's important to surround themselves with positive, supportive people.[14]
- They should avoid people who put them down or constantly criticize them. Instead, they should seek relationships with people who appreciate and encourage them.
- Give them tips about maintaining their overall health. When someone loves themselves, they put effort into taking care of their health. In turn, feeling healthy promotes a positive self-image, which reinforces self-love.[15]
- Tell them to eat a healthy diet filled with vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, and whole grains.
- Recommend that they exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Suggest activities like brisk walks or jogs, cycling, swimming, and yoga.
- Let them know that getting rest is important, and that they should get 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night.
- Suggest that they pursue activities that bring them joy. Tell your loved one to set aside time for their hobbies and to give themselves permission to have fun. Whether their ideal activity is reading a good book or rock climbing, doing what they love nurtures the love they have for themselves.[16]
- If they say they don't have any hobbies or interests, offer suggestions or remind them of their passions. For example, you might say, "I know you have a dog; you could go to new parks or hike nature trails together. Maybe you could go to agility or trick training classes together."
- Keep in mind you might not want to give too much unsolicited advice. Try not to be bossy, make sure the person is receptive, and back off if they're not interested.
- If the person you're helping has trouble seeing themselves in a positive light, they might benefit from counseling. Advise them to talk to a professional if they withdraw from regular activities, seem sad all of the time, or if you suspect they might hurt themselves.[17]
- Ask them to think about their relationships. Is there anyone in their life who puts them down or does other things that lead them to feel bad about themselves? If so, they may need to cut ties or limit their time with those people.
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| How to Recycle Cables Posted: 23 Jun 2018 05:00 PM PDT The rapid advancement of consumer technology makes life a little more convenient every day. Unfortunately, it also means that accessories from outdated devices have a tendency to pile up in a hurry. Companies like Best Buy and Apple will usually be happy to take unused electrical cables off your hands and ensure that they're properly recycled. If you'd rather see them go to a cause that's closer to home, you could also try donating them to an area STEM program, letting friends or family members pick through them, or stripping and selling the raw materials for a small profit. EditDisposing of Old and Unused Cables - Drop off a collection of cables at an electronics recycling center. These places often have collection boxes on-site where you can go to deposit unwanted electronic components. Your junk hookups will be recycled right there at the facility, and you can rest easy knowing that you've done your part to clean up the planet.[1]
- For information on recycling centers in your area, run a search for "electronics recycling" and the name of your city.
- If you live in the U.S., you can also visit Earth911.com or contact the National Center for Electronics Recycling using the form provided on their website.[2]
- Take your accessories to a tech store for recycling. Big-name chain retailers like Best Buy and Staples provide free recycling services for customers looking to get rid of unused electronics. Look for a bin or kiosk marked "Recycling" upon entering the store and simply dump your accessories there. They'll typically see to the disposal of cords, cables, wires, and even rechargeable batteries.[3]
- Not all stores offer recycling. You may have to call a few different locations to find one that will take your materials.
- Take advantage of Apple's Renew program. Return proprietary parts from Apple devices like iPhones and MacBooks to any Apple Store and let them take care of the rest. You can even apply for a free shipping label online to send in your devices without ever having to set foot in a store. For every device you turn in, you'll be rewarded with an online gift card or credit for in-store purchases.[4]
- Apple accepts trade-ins on a wide range of devices from any generation, including iPhones, iPads, iPods, Apple Watches, Apple TVS, desktop and notebook computers, and all of their accompanying cables.[5]
- Any devices that aren't refurbished will be recycled and used to make new products.
- Attend an e-waste collection event. In many places, particularly big cities, nonprofit businesses and special interest groups have been known to host collection events in an effort to reduce the amount of electronic waste (or "e-waste") floating around. All you have to do is box up whatever cords and cables you no longer have a use for. The attendants will sort, inventory, and prepare them for processing.[6]
- Check the community events section of your local newspaper to learn when and where e-waste collection events are happening near you.
- Generally, any device or accessory containing materials like lead, cadmium, beryllium, or brominated cyclic hydrocarbons that may be harmful to the environment falls into the category of e-waste.[7]
EditFinding Other Uses for Cables - Give your unused accessories to a friend or family member. Before you start looking for a place to offload newer accessories, see if someone you know might be able to use them. You could end up saving them the trouble and expense of shopping for a replacement. They'll get the piece they need and you won't have to worry about it cluttering up your nightstand anymore.[8]
- Components like charging cords and adaptor cables don't tend to change much through subsequent generations, which means they're more likely to be compatible with newer devices.
- Post about the items you're parting with on social media to reach more eyes. Be sure to include a few photos so interested acquaintances know they're getting the right part.
- Reuse cables for other devices. Some types of accessories are less device-specific than others. A USB cord is a USB cord, for instance, and can be used on any device with a USB port. Familiarizing yourself with the connectors of your various devices can be a good way to get more use out of a cable if you have one that's missing its mate.[9]
- HDMI, A/V, and coaxial cables are feature a universal construction that makes them interchangeable between many different types of electronics, from computers to video recording equipment.[10]
- Even a specially-designed component like Apple's lightning charger cord can be plugged into any iPhone, iPad, or iPod manufactured after 2012.
- Donate your cords and cables to a local STEM program. Schools and hobby groups, such as the Boy Scouts and audio/video clubs, sometimes use electronic accessories like power cords as part of their technology education curriculum. Run a search for STEM programs being advertised in your town and see what sorts of items they're asking for. Chances are, they'll be pleased with whatever you contribute.[11]
- Since these programs are mostly concerned with studying technology, they may be willing to accept parts that are considered outdated or obsolete.
- Sell raw materials for salvage. If you're looking for a way to turn a tangle of cables into quick cash, consider mining them for the materials inside. Conductive metals like pure copper and nickel are highly sought after by scrap metal dealers, who melt them down and sell them to vendors. Copper, in particular, is very valuable—in many markets, it can go for as much as $3 per pound.[12]
- Contact your local scrapyard or metal recycling center and ask about their criteria for accepting salvage metals. Some dealers are happy to handle the extraction process themselves, while others may expect you to have the raw materials ready before you bring them in.
- Be aware that copper theft is a felony offense. The only time you should attempt to mine raw copper for sale is when it comes from an electronic component that you purchased legally.[13]
- Recycling cables, cords, and wires can be a source of raw materials for new products. Doing so cuts down on the amount of e-waste that ends up in landfills.
- Rummage through the old video game systems, speakers, kitchen appliances, and other electronics you have in storage to gather up materials for donation.
- Never throw electronics accessories in the garbage. When disposed of improperly, these items release substances that can be harmful for the environment.
- Don't attempt to reuse cables that show signs of fraying, splitting, or excessive wear. These may present an electrical hazard.
EditSources and Citations
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| How to Be Happy Being Yourself Posted: 23 Jun 2018 09:00 AM PDT It's easy to wish you looked like or acted like someone else, or had the cushy job or great boyfriend that someone else has. No matter who you are, you can learn to be happy and fulfilled with your life. Take time to appreciate your talents and characteristics while forming a healthy body image and self-esteem. Focus on the positive aspects of your job, hobbies, and lifestyle. Fostering strong and close relationships can help you feel more satisfied and confident in your lifestyle. EditLoving Who You Are - Identify what makes you unique and wonderful. Recognizing what you love about yourself first will make you much more comfortable in your own skin. Start by making a list of all of the things you love about yourself, whether it's your free spirit, your work ethic, or your shiny hair.[1]
- Find at least 10 things you like about yourself. Think about your talents, accomplishments, or characteristics.
- Appreciate what makes you unique. Perhaps you speak four languages, can walk on your hands, or can instantly make new friends. Not everyone can do that, but you can!
- Redirect negative thoughts into positive ones. For example, instead of thinking "I'm not pretty enough," say "I look great today!"
- Practice gratitude in your daily life. Actively giving thanks helps you recognize the wonderful people, things, and opportunities in your life. Make a daily habit of giving thanks to those you love. Appreciate your opportunities, strengths, skills, and blessings.[2]
- Keep a gratitude journal and write everything that you're thankful for. You might include your family, friends, home, hobbies, opportunities, or health. Add 1 thing to this journal every day. If you're feeling upset or down, try reading through the journal to cheer you up.
- Always say thank you, whether you're thanking your local barista for an amazing cup of coffee or your father for always being there for you.
- Fill your life with laughter. Always leave some room for laughter in your daily life. No matter how dire your life may seem at a given moment, never forget to take a break to laugh. You'll feel better in both the short-term and the long-term.[3]
- Be just plain silly. Tell a corny joke, make a bad pun, or just dance around like a fool. Why not?
- Laugh at your mistakes. This can defuse the situation and help you realize that things aren't so bad.
- Watch a comedy or a comedian. This will make you laugh and can cheer you up.
- Be around people who love to laugh. Laughter is contagious!
- Come to terms with your flaws. Confidence is the key to happiness, but everyone has flaws and weaknesses. Instead of obsessing over your perceived flaws, embrace them. If you want, ask yourself what you can do to improve yourself in this regard.[4]
- Make a list of things you want to work on. Make manageable goals to improve. If you hate that you're always forgetting things, try getting a planner or download a calendar app. Set alarms for when you need to do something.
- Learn to live with some of your flaws. Perhaps you won't ever get over your clumsiness, but that's okay! Try to laugh when you stumble or brush it off as though it doesn't matter.
- Forgive yourself. Let's face it: we've all done something we're less than proud of. Whatever you did, you should recognize that it was wrong and understand why you did it, but after that, it's time to let it go.
EditCreating a Healthy Body Image - Identify what you love about your body. Feeling good about your body can go a long way in helping you be happy with who you are. Look at yourself and appreciate your best features.[5]
- You may not love everything about your face, but you should be able to pick 1 or 2 things, like your eyes or your lips, that stand out. When you look at yourself, remind yourself how great this part of you looks.
- Remind yourself what your body is capable of. Try to love your body for its ability to sing, dance, imagine, or jump.
- Exercise. Exercise can boost your confidence and your mood, even if you're not looking to lose weight or become stronger. Just working out for 30 minutes 2-3 times a week can increase your energy and confidence. Find what type of workout works for you and stick with it.[6]
- Mindful exercises, like yoga or tai chi, can give you a sense of calm and help you meditate about your body.
- Team sports, like soccer or softball, are tons of fun. They add an important social element to your exercise that can help you feel more fulfilled.
- Running, biking, swimming, or even just taking a walk can help you clear your mind while helping you become healthy.
- Eat healthy foods to improve your mood. Improving your diet can help your mind and body. Having a good balance between fruits and veggies, proteins, and carbs can help you feel more in tune with your body.[7]
- Foods high in fiber and omega 3-fatty acids can improve your mood and help you feel happier. These include foods like whole wheat bread, brown rice, fish, green vegetables, and walnuts.[8]
- Cook your own food from scratch instead of buying premade foods. Cooking can help you make healthier decisions, and you'll get more satisfaction from your meal.
- It's okay to indulge in the occasional burger or ice cream, but having too many processed or fatty foods will make you feel tired or sluggish.
- Create a wardrobe that makes you look and feel good. Being happy with what you're wearing can make or break how you feel about your appearance. If your clothes are dirty, don't fit well, or just don't look right, it can affect your mood and self-esteem. Choose a style that reflects your unique personality.[9]
- Choose clothing that is comfortable for your body. Don't try to wear clothing that is too big or too small.
- Have a few key items that you adore. Having a favorite pair of jeans, a beautiful knitted sweater, or a trendy scarf can really help you feel good about how you look.
- Jewelry, belts, scarves, and shoes can really pull an outfit together. If you're missing that extra touch, try adding an accessory to it.
EditFostering a Joyful Lifestyle - Focus on the positive aspects of your job. Sure, some of your work may be frustrating or even boring, but pick a few things you love about your job, whether it's interacting with clients or customers, learning new things, or having the opportunity to travel occasionally.[10]
- If you're struggling at work, reframe how you approach your job. Personalize your workspace with pictures or plants. Avoid taking on extra projects if you're overworked.
- Take the time to get to know and appreciate the people you work with. You may feel like you have nothing in common, but if you make the extra effort to be friendly, it will make you much more eager to wake up to go to work.
- Appreciate what your job can do for you. On hard days, remember that your job allows you to put food on the table.
- Pursue hobbies and activities that interest you. Hobbies and interests outside of work give you something to look forward to. This helps you become a more well-rounded and interesting person. If you don't have any hobbies currently, you might:[11]
- Develop your artistic side. Try your hand at writing a poem, a song, or painting. You don't have to be great at it, but you can have fun in the process.
- Learn a new language. This will make you feel more cultured and it can help you find a great job.
- Join a team sport. Not only will you get a great workout, but you can make amazing friends.
- Take an evening class. Learn something that you're interested in, such as coding, woodworking, or ancient mythology.
- Set a routine that works for you. A routine allows you to organize your life in a way that make every day activities pass in a breeze. If you feel stressed, hurried, or bored at certain points of your day, try shaking things up. Switch around your routine until you find something that works.[12]
- Don't rush around in the morning. Give yourself enough time to eat a healthy breakfast and drive to work to arrive a few minutes early. Set your clothes out the night before or pack all of your lunches at the beginning of the week.
- Even if your day is super-packed, make some time for yourself. Read a book during your lunch break, watch your favorite show before you go to bed, or wake up early enough to meditate.
- Get plenty of rest. Go to bed and wake up at around the same time every day so your body develops a routine. This can help you feel more rested in the morning.
- Try new experiences. Experiences, and not material items, are the key to happiness. Trying new experiences can help you step outside of your comfort zone while giving you many interesting and unique memories.[13]
- Explore your surroundings and natural environments. Take a hike, go rafting, or try rock climbing.
- Take a weekend trip, perhaps to a nearby city, mountain, or beach. Set aside 1 week a year for a much bigger trip to see your family or to visit a somewhere new, like New York City or the Grand Canyon.
- Attend concerts, museum openings, or new movies in your area. This can help develop your mind and expose you to new experiences in your own town.
- Create a clean and comfortable living space. Feeling safe, comfortable, and at peace in your own living space can make the difference between being happy and being cooped up. Decorate your home in a way that makes you cheerful or energetic.[14]
- Clean up any clutter. Put away things where they belong, and avoid adding too much furniture to an area. Keeping an open, light room can go a long way in creating a happy space.
- Filling your home with photos of your loved ones, souvenirs from your favorite vacations, or paintings of your favorite spots can help remind you of what makes you happy.
- Boost your mood at home by painting your walls light or bright colors, like soft blue, lavender, or yellow.
- Make changes if you're not happy with your routine or lifestyle. If you're truly unhappy with an aspect of your life, you may have the power to change it. Take the initiative to move on and start something new.
- If you hate your job so much that it is causing stress or anxiety, it may be time to find a new job.
- Maybe you loved training for marathons for the past decade, but suddenly you dread all of your training runs. Spice things up by finding a new way to work out or spend your time.
- If you feel stuck, bored, or isolated in your town, consider moving or take a vacation to somewhere new.
EditEstablishing a Strong Social Network - Find supportive, positive friends. Having a network of close friends is one the best ways to become happy with yourself in the long run. Having the right friends can improve your self-esteem, make you feel needed, and boost your self-confidence.[15]
- Treasure old friendships. Maintain these relationships with frequent visits, emails, phone calls, or skype sessions.
- If you've met someone who you really click with, don't be afraid to ask them on a coffee date to see if you can get to know each other better.
- Dump your toxic friends. If you have a friend who makes you feel terrible about yourself or is so negative that they manage to ruin your mood every time you hang out, it may be time to let them go.
- Appreciate your family. In many cases, nobody has done more for you or knows you better than your parents or siblings. Whether you're off at college, living in a different country, or sharing a house with your family members, it's important to be happy with who they are in order to be truly happy being yourself.[16]
- If you have a good relationship with your parents, take time to talk to them often, and tell them you love them. Don't forget to thank them!
- Treat your siblings well. Even if you sometimes you feel like you and your sibling live on different planets, you still share a common bond of knowing what it's like to grow up in the same place with the same parents.
- Even if you don't have a strong relationship with your biological family, you can appreciate those who are like family in your life. Consider who you might consider to be your family, and let them know how you feel.
- Participate in your community. Feeling involved in your neighborhood, city, religion, school, or other community group can make you feel like you belong to something bigger. This can help you create long-lasting relationships and find interesting things to do.[17]
- Introduce yourself to your neighbors. Your neighbors will not only make you feel involved in where you live, but they could end up being your best friends.
- Attend town hall meetings, book clubs on your streets, concerts by local musicians, volunteer park clean-up days, or any other events that make you feel involved in local culture or politics.
- Volunteering can give you a deep sense of fulfillment and help you meet others in your community. Look for organizations and causes you believe in. You might raise money for the homeless or build houses for low-income families.[18]
- Foster healthy romantic relationships. Romance can be very fulfilling, but it is important to make sure that your relationships are founded on love, trust, and strong communication. A toxic romantic entanglement can cause significant stress and unhappiness.[19]
- If you have a great significant other, communicate openly with each other on a daily basis. Make sure that both partners are fulfilled and satisfied with the relationship.
- If you're single and dating lots of people, have fun with it. Going on date after date may get frustrating, but if you stay positive, you're more likely to find the right person.
- If you're single and not looking, that's okay too! If you're not at a point in your life where you want to date anyone, be happy with who you are and the decisions you're making.
- Learn to forgive. You won't be able to fully enjoy your relationships if you're holding a grudge or stuck in the past. Learning to forgive the people you love for their past mistakes is the only way to move forward in your relationships.[20]
- If someone has really hurt you, try looking at it from their perspective. Your friend may have hurt you with the best intentions, or might not have been thinking clearly.
- Learn to accept an apology. If your friend, mother, or significant other is truly sincere and sorry about something, learn to accept an apology. Try to move on as best you can.
- If you hurt the other person, say you're sorry too.
- Do something that you love at least once a day, whether it be listening to a song that you love, or dancing in your underwear in your bedroom.
- Try helping others. There is nothing like helping someone else to help improve your self-confidence and to make you realize how lucky you are.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. This will only make you frustrated. Instead of focusing on what others have, focus on what makes you who you are.
- If you've tried everything and you still feel deeply unhappy with who you are, you may be suffering from depression and should seek professional help.
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