| How to Understand the Difference Between Flirting and Social Interaction Posted: 12 Nov 2018 04:00 PM PST Flirting can be a playful interaction between two people that fancy one another. It is often subtle and friendly, and it can sometimes be difficult to tell the difference between flirting and regular social interactions. As a result, you may struggle to recognize when someone is flirting and when they aren't. Situational context, body language, and attitude can all help demonstrate flirting. If you're unsure, though, it's always best to simply ask. EditAssessing if Someone is Flirting With You - Understand which scenarios are more likely to include flirting. Bars, nightclubs, parties, and singles events are places commonly associated with flirting. This is because these venues where people often go to seek out others whom they find sexually attractive. Understanding the social setting in which flirting is more likely to occur can help you identify the behavior.[1]
- Appropriate settings for flirting vary depending on factors like age, community, and religion. If you're a high school student, for example, you may see flirting at school. Your crush is more likely to flirt with you in the hall between classes, though, than in the middle of history class.
- Don't assume that someone is flirting with you just because you're in a social setting. If someone at a bar says "hello," while waiting for their group, they may be acting friendly, not amorous. Rely on more than just the venue to determine if an interaction is flirtatious.
- Watch their body language. Body language may give you some clues to help spot a flirt. Flirting often includes a lot of eye contact. Giggling, smiling, and soft touches on the hand or forearm can also be clues that someone is flirting with you.[2]
- Never assume that someone is saying something with body language that they aren't saying directly to you. If they say, "Please leave," listen to them, no matter what you think they are saying with their body language.
- Consider whether the situation is more likely to be flirtatious or friendly. People like to think that seemingly-flirtatious interactions are signs of attraction, and they absolutely can be. People can be friendly, charming, and even a little flirtatious for reasons that have nothing to do with attraction, though.[3]
- Think about why someone may be flirting with you in that moment. There's always the possibility that they fancy you, but are there any other conspicuous reasons they are talking to you?
- Say, for example, you're at the store and your grocery cart is blocking the aisle. Someone flashes you a big smile and asks you to move your cart, then giggles and thanks you when you do. This seems flirtatious, and it may be because they're interested in you, but it may also be that they find it easier to be friendly than confrontational in these scenarios.
- Evaluate your current relationship with the other person. Some people are more likely to be flirting with you, while others are more likely engaging in friendly social interactions. Your boss at work or your teacher at school, for example, should not be flirting with you even if they're acting friendly. That cute person who you met at snack table at your friend's party and who has been chatting with you all night is more likely a flirt.[4]
- In murky situations, such as developing feelings for a close friend, it's best not to rely on flirting or subtle signs. Speak to that person directly or decide not to address the matter at all. Flirting is easy to misconstrue, and can complicate established relationships.
- Ask the person if they're flirting. Instead of assuming someone is flirting, ask them outright. You can be cute and say something like, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flirting with me," or "Are you flirting with moi?" Still, it's always safer to ask than to assume.[5]
- Don't assume someone is flirting with you. People are only about 27% accurate when it comes to guessing if someone is flirting with them. Unless someone makes their intentions clear and conspicuous, it's safest to assume they're not flirting.[6]
EditFlirting Effectively With Someone Else - Think about whether you should flirt with that person. Before you start flirting, think about if it's appropriate for you to flirt with that person. There are a number of reasons it may be inappropriate to flirt with someone, but some major ones include:[7]
- If you are in a position of power over them
- If they have previously expressed that they're not interested in you
- If they are already in a relationship
- If you work with them in a professional capacity
- If they are experiencing emotional distress
- If you are trying to manipulate them
- Make deliberate eye contact. Looking someone in the eyes while speaking is polite, but holding direct, deliberate eye contact is a clear sign to someone that you're flirting. Polite eye contact says you should mostly look at the person with whom you're speaking, but you can also look around the room, so long as your eyes return to your subject. When you're flirting though, try not to break eye contact.[8]
- Don't stare at the person and don't stop yourself from blinking. The idea is to let the other person know that they are your focus, not to scare or intimidate them.
- Be warm and pleasant toward the person. Smile, say "hello," and welcome that person into a conversation with you. Avoid fawning all over them. You want to flirt with them, not gush about them. Have a pleasant back-and-forth, and let them know that it was nice to meet them.[9]
- You want this person to think that you are being friendly to them, but not overly so. They may feel awkward if you give them a level of attention they feel you wouldn't give to someone else. For all they should know, you're this friendly to everyone.
- If this is your first conversation with that person, cut it off while you still have 1-2 talking points in your head. You want to leave them interested in learning more about you. This is difficult to do if you talk until you have nothing more to say.
- Stay close but not so close that you're touching. Arm's distance, or about is right on the border between personal and social space. You don't want to violate that space, as that can be intimidating, but getting right on the line between personal and social space can suggest to someone that you're interested in them.[10]
- Try not to touch someone without their consent, even if you are sitting close to them. While small touches can be a sign of flirting, they can also be a huge personal violation. If you want to touch someone, even if it's on the hand or arm, always ask first.
EditKnowing When Someone Crosses a Line - Know the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. A little flirting with the right person can feel great. If it comes from the wrong person, though, it can quickly turn into a problem. Ask yourself if the allegedly flirtatious act was unwanted, unsolicited, and/or unreciprocated. If the answer to any of those is yes, the action may have crossed the line into harassment.[11]
- Ultimately, only the person against whom the action was perpetrated can determine if it is harassment. If someone touched you on the knee and wrote it off as "harmless flirting," but it made you feel uncomfortable, it's harassment.
- Likewise, if you continue to flirt with someone after they tell you they're not interested, you've moved into harassment. They're not playing hard to get, and you are now pursuing them against their will.
- Understand that bullying is not flirting. A little good-natured ribbing is common in flirting. However, someone pushing you around, belittling you, wolf whistling at you, or blocking your path is not playfully showing their attraction to you. Bullying, whether it's physical or emotional, is not flirtatious, and not something you have to accept.[12]
- If someone is bullying you under the premise of being attracted to you or trying to flirt, report them right away.
- Report someone who flirts with you when they're in a position of power. Someone who holds a position of power over you should not be flirting with you. This includes bosses, teachers, and anyone who has any sort of social power over you like a doctor or therapist. If someone is trying to use their power over you to further their advances, report them to an authority figure immediately.[13]
- Who the person is will determine who you report them to. If it's your boss, for example, you may need to start by going to your HR department. If it's your doctor, you may need to report them to their overseeing medical board.
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| How to Eat Bibimbap Posted: 12 Nov 2018 08:00 AM PST Bibimbap (pronounced bee-bim-bop) is a Korean dish that translates to "mixed rice." It's exactly what its name suggests: a heaping portion of rice served in a hot stone bowl and topped with vegetables, protein, a fried egg, and delicious sauces. Whether you make it at home or order it at a Korean restaurant, follow the traditional technique of eating bibimbap for an authentic experience. EditIngredients - Rice
- Vegetables (carrots, spinach, shiitake mushrooms, etc.)
- Choice of protein
- Egg
- Gochujang sauce
- Sesame oil (optional)
EditRecipe Variations EditEnjoying Your Bibimbap - Break the fried egg yolk so it runs into the rest of the mixture. This makes the rice creamier and prevents the dish from drying out. Use the edge of a spoon to cut into the egg on top of the bowl. Press down gently on the egg to squeeze out the runny yolk.[1]
- The yolk may cook against the sides of the warm bowl, creating a delicious fried rice effect.
- Some people crack a raw egg on top of the dish instead. Only do this if your bowl is hot enough to cook the egg thoroughly when you mix it up.
- Add condiments like Gochujang sauce or sesame oil to taste. Gochujang is a Korean chili paste made with red chili powder. The more sauce you use, the spicier your dish will be. Drizzle sesame oil over top, too, for extra flavor.[2]
- Use less Gochujang sauce or skip it all together if you can't tolerate a lot of heat.
- Other optional condiments include soy sauce, salt, or Sriracha.
- Stir the bowl until all of the ingredients are combined. A quick tossing won't work here. Using a spoon, mix the ingredients vigorously so all of the flavors blend together. Stirring inside the hot bowl also keeps the dish warm all the way through.[3]
- If you want crispy rice, mix it without disturbing the crust on the bottom of the bowl.
- You know it's stirred well when the mixture in the bowl becomes 1 color.
- Wait for the bibimbap to cool down slightly before eating. If you dig in right away, you risk burning your mouth. Let the bibimbap sit in the bowl for a few minutes before you start eating. It shouldn't be cold but you want it to be warm, not scalding.[4]
- Speed up the cooling process by pushing all of the bibimbap to one side of the bowl. The top will cool off faster so you can start eating. By the time you get to the bottom, that will also be cool enough to enjoy.
- Lightly blow on a spoonful before placing it in your mouth if it's still too hot.
- Eat the mixture with a spoon instead of chopsticks. Koreans traditionally don't eat rice with chopsticks. A spoon is best for scooping up heaping mouthfuls of the bibimbap.[5]
- Chopsticks can help you pile more ingredients onto your spoon.
- If you don't want your rice to get crispy, use your spoon to scrape the bottom of the bowl every so often while you eat to mix it up.
EditAssembling Bibimbap at Home - Warm a stone bowl over medium-low heat for 5 to 10 minutes. Rub the inside of the bowl with sesame oil, then place it on a gas stove to heat it to your preferred warmth. The hotter the bowl, the longer it will keep your bibimbap warm.[6]
- You can buy a stone or granite bowl at most Korean grocery stores.
- If you don't have a stone bowl, a cast iron pan will produce the same effect.
- Fill the bottom of the bowl with cooked rice. Use any type of rice you prefer, whether it's long-grain, brown, white, or a mix. Traditionally, sticky white rice serves as the base for bibimbap.[7]
- Short-grain, sticky rice is ideal because it clumps together, giving you that nice crust on the bottom of your bowl.
- Make rice on the stove or in a rice maker. You can also use leftover rice.
- Choose the vegetables and protein you want as toppings. There's no limit to what can go into bibimbap when it comes to your toppings. Some common vegetables you might find in the dish include carrots, bean sprouts, spinach, and shiitake mushrooms. For protein, choose anything from flank steak to chicken to tofu.[8]
- Sautee the veggies in a garlic or soy sauce to bring more layers of flavor to the dish.
- Consider including kimchi, which is fermented cabbage that's very popular in Asian cooking. It adds a crunchy texture.
- Bibimbap is also a great way to use up leftovers in the fridge or vegetables that are almost past their prime.
- Fry 1 egg for about 2 minutes so that the yolk is runny. A runny yolk is essential to making bibimbap. Cook your egg either over easy or sunny-side up, being careful not to break the yolk while you're frying it.[9]
- For a sunny-side up egg, you don't need to flip it at all. Just make sure the egg whites are completely set.
- Use sesame oil to fry your egg for a toasty flavor.
- Arrange your toppings by color on the rice with the egg in the center. Koreans like to incorporate 5 colors into their dishes: red, yellow, black, white, and green. For a pretty bowl, group the ingredients based on their color. Lay the egg on top in the middle of the bowl.[10]
- For example, place all of the yellow ingredients next to the all of the red ingredients instead of scattering them randomly.
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