| How to Learn to Say No Posted: 20 Feb 2019 12:00 AM PST Many people struggle with saying, "No." If someone asks you for a favor or a commitment, you may feel obligated to say "Yes." Remember, just because you can do something does not mean it is required. Work on considering the best ways to say "No." Think about things like your personal boundaries and the situation at hand. When saying "No," do so in a polite manner that makes your boundaries clear. Work on avoiding guilt after saying "No." Understand you always have a right to turn down an invitation or refuse a favor. It's okay to make yourself and your mental health a priority. EditConsidering How to Say No - Give yourself permission to say no. Many people have a knee-jerk reaction to say "Yes" when they're asked to do someone a favor. Keep in mind, you are never required to say "Yes." It's actually okay to say "No" sometimes. Accept this as you prepare to say "No" to someone. This will help you say "No" with ease.[1]
- If you never say "No," this can have negative consequences. You can enable someone who relies too much on you for favors. You can also burn out on your own end and lose focus.
- If you say "No" too often, you may miss out on things that may be good for you. If you're overcommitted doing things you don't want to do, you won't have much time left for yourself.
- Make time for the things you really enjoy rather than saying "Yes" as a knee-jerk response. If you, say, agreed to help a friend move all weekend, you may have to turn down an invitation to go on a weekend hiking trip with another group of friends.
- Establish your personal boundaries. It's always easier to say "No" if you have a reason. However, that reason does not have to be concrete. Many people think if they can do something, they should. Your reason for saying "No" can be a simple matter of your own personal boundaries. Think about what boundaries you have, and embrace the fact you're allowed to stay true to them.[2]
- Consider what you are reasonably able to do, and what you actually enjoy doing. You can say "No" to things that drain you or distract you. You can set specific boundaries regarding what you will and will not agree to do.
- For example, maybe you value solitude. You can set a boundary that you won't go out two nights each weekend. You can use this boundary as a reason for saying "No." For instance, "I would love to go out with you Saturday, but I have plans Friday. I never go out two nights in a row because I get too tired."
- You can also set boundaries in regards to personal commitments. You can, for example, have a rule that you only volunteer for two charity events per month if this is reasonable for you given your schedule.
- Be aware of potential persuasion techniques. People often won't take "No" for an answer. If you say "No" to someone, they may use persuasion techniques to try and change your mind. Be aware of potential persuasion techniques so you can establish a firm offense.[3]
- People may try to guilt you into doing something to reciprocate a favor. Remember, just because someone did you a favor does not mean you owe them. Friends do not keep score.
- People may also ask twice. If you say "No" to one thing, they may try to get you to agree to a smaller commitment or favor. Remember to be firm. Keep saying "No."
- A person may also try to get you to do something by comparing you to other people. They may say another person agreed to help. You are not another person. You do not have to do something simply because someone else did.
- Practice saying "No." It may sound silly, but you can actually practice saying "No" alone. Try standing before a mirror and looking at yourself. Practice giving a firm, "No" to someone so you get comfortable with the words. Many people are nervous about saying "No" and may say "Yes" due to anxiety. Practicing can help quell some of this anxiety.[4]
EditSaying No - Ask for more time before committing. Your knee-jerk response to being asked for a favor may be to say "Yes." Make a habit of not giving an automatic "Yes" all the time. When asked to do something, instead respond with, "I'll think about it" or "Can I get back to you on that? I'd like to, but I might have something scheduled."[5]
- Saying "I'll think about it" will usually get the person off your back. This will give you time to genuinely consider your response.
- After agreeing to think something over, you can decide later whether or not you agree. If you decide against doing something, you can give a firm "No" later.
- For example, a friend asks if you'll watch her cat over the holiday weekend. Say, "I have to look over my schedule. Let me think about it."
- Start with a compliment or gratitude. While you should be firm when saying "No," you'll also feel better if you're polite. When letting someone down, soften the blow by starting with a compliment. Express gratitude at having been asked or invited.[6]
- For example, "I'm glad you feel comfortable asking me to watch Bella. It means a lot knowing that you trust me with your cat because I know how much you care about her."
- Give a clear "No." After the initial kindness, you can say "No." Be firm here. You want to make it clear you are giving a firm "No" so the person does not press the issue or ask you again.[7]
- For example, "I just don't really have the time to run back and forth from your place this weekend. I already have a lot of plans with family."
- Thank and encourage the person. You want to leave things on a good note. You can be firm without being rude or aggressive. Thank the person for thinking of you, and wish them good luck.[8]
- For example, "Again, I'm glad to know you trust me with Bella. Good luck finding someone else to watch her."
EditAvoiding Guilt - Examine any reasons you avoid saying "No." If you need to learn to say "No," you may avoid it by habit. Think about any underlying reasons you may be uncomfortable turning someone down. This can help you identify how your inability to say "No" may be irrational.[9]
- Maybe you're a people pleaser by nature. You may not want to upset other people.
- You may also avoid confrontation. Even a small confrontation may be stressful for you.
- You may also worry about making people angry. You may irrationally feel people will not like you if you say "No."
- Keep in mind that you do not need a reason to say "No." Some people feel like they have to have a good reason to say no, but this is not the case. If you do not want to do something, then you don't have to do it. Try to remind yourself of this in situations where you can't think of a reason to say no.
- For example, if a friend invites you to see a concert with him or her and you simply don't like live music, then say so. Try saying, "No thanks. I am not a fan of live music, so I am going to sit this one out."
- Or, if someone invites you out on a night when you just don't feel like going anywhere, then try saying, "You know, I really don't feel like coming out tonight, maybe another time."
- Accept that boundaries are personal and subjective. You need to embrace your own boundaries to work on saying "No." Boundaries are personal, and usually subjective. It's okay if your boundaries are different from someone else's. Be comfortable with your own boundaries and allow yourself to stand by them.[10]
- Boundaries are a projection of who you are. Therefore, there is no inherent value in boundaries. Your boundaries are not better or worse than another person's.
- Never compare your boundaries to someone else's. You may, for example, feel guilty that a co-worker is more eager to go to noisy bars for work parties. This is simply off limits to you.
- Your co-worker may be more extroverted or less shy than you. This is okay. It's okay for you to say "No" to such events, even if others don't, as they violate your personal boundaries.
- Don't look back after giving an answer. If you tend to ruminate over decisions, this can make saying "No" more difficult. After saying "No," accept your decision and move forward.[11]
- Focus on how good you feel. If you said "No" to something potentially draining or stressful, you should feel relieved.
- Prioritize your positive feelings about saying "No." Try to push out feelings of guilt.
- Understand saying "No" can help you avoid resentment. Saying "Yes" too often could lead to resentment. If you're a people pleaser by nature, you may say "Yes" more frequently than is healthy. If you, for example, agree to help every time a friend needs a favor, you may begin to resent that friend. While you may feel temporarily guilty over saying "No," it's better to deal with momentary guilt than to risk tanking a valuable relationship.[12]
- Work on building up your self-worth. Part of the reason why some people struggle to say "no" is because they don't feel like their wants and needs are as important as other people's wants and needs. To avoid feeling guilty from saying "no," try to work on building up your self-worth. Some strategies that you might try include:[13]
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations EditQuick Summary
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Sleep with a Cough Posted: 19 Feb 2019 04:00 PM PST A nagging cough can make it really difficult to fall asleep at night. If you can manage to get rid of the cough, your problem will likely be solved. However, if you have a cough that simply refuses to be suppressed, there are measures you can take—like keeping your breathing passages moist, elevating your head, and creating a good sleep environment—that can help you overcome the hacking and get some decent shut-eye. EditHydrating Your Breathing Passages - Drink water during the day to stay hydrated at night. Dry breathing passages get irritated more easily, which results in more frequent and/or more powerful coughing. Drinking water throughout the day to keep your body hydrated will help your throat and nasal tissue to stay moist during the night.[1]
- Take extra care to stay hydrated if you are also experiencing a fever, diarrhea, or vomiting, since these all dehydrate your body.
- It's best to spread out your water consumption throughout the day rather than to have 1 or 2 big glasses of water right before bed—otherwise you'll probably have to get up to use the bathroom!
- Drink warm or hot water to help hydrate your body and loosen up the mucus in your lungs for a speedier recovery.
- Take a steamy shower or bath to wind down at the end of the day. Steam helps to soothe irritated tissue and open and moisturize your breathing passages. This means you'll breathe more easily as you head off to bed, and may cough less frequently as well.[2]
- A warm bath or shower can also be a calming ritual that helps prepare your body for rest. Try making it part of your nightly routine that tells your body it's time to sleep!
- Enjoy hot tea with honey before bedtime. Like the steam from a bath or shower, a steaming-hot cup of tea will help moisturize, expand, and soothe your breathing passages. Choose an herbal or decaf tea, since caffeine makes it harder to fall asleep.[3]
- A nice cup of tea can also be mentally calming before bedtime.
- Honey coats and soothes your breathing passages, and has antibacterial properties that may be beneficial as well.[4]
- Turn on a humidifier in your bedroom. The humidifier adds moisture to the surrounding air, which will in turn hydrate your nasal tissue and throat as you breathe. Even when you don't have a cough, you'll probably find it easier to sleep if the air is moister.[5]
- For most people, a relative humidity level of about 50% is ideal for sleeping. So, you're more likely to need a humidifier on a winter night than a sticky summer evening.[6]
- Make sure you clean your humidifier properly and regularly to prevent bacteria buildup. Otherwise, it may cause a cough (and illness) instead of helping with it!
EditImproving Your Sleep Environment - Prop your head up under more pillows to aid mucus drainage. When you lie down, mucus tends to build up in the back of your throat, contributing to the "tickle" that makes you cough in order to clear the airway. If you prop your head up higher than normal with additional pillows, more of this mucus will drain down into your stomach instead of collecting in your throat.[7]
- Stack the pillows so that your neck and upper body are supported as well, instead of leaving your neck bent at an awkward angle. Otherwise, you'll end up with a stiff neck and a cough, which isn't a fun combination!
- Make sure your room is comfortable for sleeping. The more inviting your bedroom is for sleeping, the easier it will be for you to fall and remain asleep, even with a cough. Use blinds and curtains to keep the room dark, set the temperature so it's comfortably cool, use a good-quality mattress and pillow and comfy linens, and remove or block out any distracting noises.
- For most people, the ideal temperature for sleeping is .[8]
- Set a normal sleep routine, and stick to it when you have a cough. Following the same routine every night signals your body that it's time to sleep, and can help you overcome the distraction of a stubborn cough. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same times every day, and follow the same schedule—for instance, warm bath, hot tea and some reading, meditation, and lights out—every night.
- You should avoid caffeine and vigorous exercise for several hours before bedtime, and cut off "screen time"—watching TV, checking your phone, using your laptop, etc.—at least an hour before bedtime.
- Lie in bed and use relaxation techniques to fall asleep. Lie comfortably, close your eyes, and start breathing deeply and slowly. Take notice of each breath. If you need more help, picture a calming image that brings you peace and serenity. Give yourself 15-30 minutes to fall asleep with these techniques.[9]
- Coughing can interrupt your deep breathing and make it hard to maintain your focus. Do your best to ignore the coughing and maintain your relaxation.
- If you're still awake after 15-30 minutes, move on to another method--namely, getting up briefly and trying over again.
- Try following a guided sleep meditation to get into a relaxing mindset.
- Get up, do something relaxing, and try to fall asleep again. If you're tossing and turning because of your cough, it's usually better to get up briefly and restart your process of falling asleep. Get up for 15-30 minutes and do something calm, like listen to soft jazz or meditate while you drink some herbal tea with honey. Then, climb back into bed and see if you're able to doze off.[10]
- Give yourself about 30 minutes to fall asleep. If you still can't, repeat the process of getting up briefly and trying again. Eventually, your body will give in and you'll head off to dreamland!
EditSuppressing and Treating Your Cough - Take a spoonful of honey before bedtime. There is a growing body of evidence that honey is just as effective of a cough suppressant as common over-the-counter medications. Try swallowing about 2 tsp (10 g) of honey right before you go to bed, even if you've already had some honey in your nightly herbal tea.[11]
- Honey coats and soothes irritated breathing passages, and it has potentially beneficial antibacterial properties.
- Honey appears to be particularly useful for kids age 1-5, who should not be given cough-suppressing medications. Children under age 1 should not be given honey, however, due to the risk of botulism.
- You can also try sucking on a cough drop right before you sleep for similar effects.
- Try cough or cold medications that specifically match your symptoms. If you have only a cough, for instance, take a medication that is only a cough suppressant. You should always try to avoid taking medications that address symptoms you don't have.[12]
- There are 2 main types of over-the-counter cough medications: antitussives (cough suppressants), such as dextromethorphan (Robitussin, for example); and expectorants (to help clear mucus), such as guaifenesin (Mucinex, for example).[13]
- Many medications have a combination of active ingredients that include cough suppressants, antitussives, fever reducers, and painkillers. Look for a medication that fully encompasses the symptoms you're feeling.
- Over-the-counter medications aren't safe for everyone. People with high blood pressure, for example, must be careful when choosing cold medicines and should avoid oral decongestants that contain phenylephrine. It's never a bad idea to consult your doctor or pharmacist before choosing or using medication.
- Take the medication exactly as directed on the package, or by your doctor.
- Get checked for sleep apnea if you have a persistent nighttime cough. If you have a persistent cough that lasts for more than 1-2 weeks, it's always advisable to talk to your doctor. If this long-term cough tends to get worse at night and affects your sleep, you should also discuss getting tested for sleep apnea.[14]
- People with sleep apnea can have episodes in which they stop breathing for brief periods during sleep. This condition can be fatal if left untreated, but treatments like using a CPAP mask while sleeping can be very effective.
- Using a CPAP mask also tends to suppress nighttime coughing that's connected to sleep apnea.[15]
- Your doctor may advise that you undergo a sleep study as part of your testing for sleep apnea.
- Tell your doctor if your cough has caused a fear of sleeping. Especially if you have a persistent, mucus-heavy cough, you may wake up suddenly from sleep feeling like you're suffocating. This, in turn, can cause a fear of falling asleep, which leads some people to go to great lengths to stay awake at night. Talk to your doctor right away if your nighttime cough is having this type of impact on you.[16]
- In some cases, the combination of a mucus-heavy cough at night and a fear of sleeping can indicate a condition like whooping cough that may be missed otherwise.
EditRelated wikiHows EditSources and Citations
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
| How to Decorate a Shelf in the Living Room Posted: 19 Feb 2019 08:00 AM PST Having a shelf in your living room is a great way to add extra style to one of the busiest rooms in your house. You can use it to hold books, of course, but you can also show off some of your favorite family photos, interesting objects, and even seasonal decorations. The trick to making the design look deliberate is to include some of the same colors from the rest of your living room décor, then to arrange the objects in a way that shows them off! EditDeciding What to Display - Group small stacks of books together. If you're decorating a whole bookshelf, of course, you can include as many books as you can fit. However, if you're only decorating a single shelf, you might want to be more selective about the books you choose. You could pick books that you love to read over and over, or if you prefer, you could opt to display books with bindings that match your décor.[1]
- For an elegant display, include a collection of leather-bound volumes.
- Don't be afraid to get creative with your arrangement! You can display some books with the front facing outward, especially if they have interesting cover art. You can also stack some books horizontally and some vertically.
- Take dust covers off of hardcover books to make them look less busy.
- Buy old books from a thrift store that you don't want to read to use just as decoration.
- Make the shelf feel more personal with framed art or pictures. A framed picture is a great way to add your personality and design style to a shelf. You can either lean the art against the wall and anchor it by placing small, heavy objects in front of it, or you can hang it just above the shelf for more security.[2]
- Photos of your family and loved ones will add a lot of warmth to your living room.
- You could also opt for art that reflects your design style, like pop art if you love bright, bold colors, or a simple line drawing if you prefer a more understated look.
- You could even create a gallery wall by hanging a variety of pictures above the shelf. Then, decorate the shelf with small objects that mimic the colors or shapes in the pictures.
- Lean a large frame against the wall and later smaller ones in front to create a relaxed style.
- Use sculptures, vases, and found objects to mix up the shapes on the shelf. A shelf that only contains square and rectangular objects isn't as visually appealing as one that has a variety of shapes. Instead, it's best to mix up the size and shape of the items you display together. Use your shelf to show off cool objects like vases, globes, bookends, or sculptures.[3]
- Try to use your imagination when you're thinking of items that you can put on the shelf. Some of the coolest designs feature unexpected touches, like a glass bowl full of acorns in a rustic living room, or a brightly-colored vase that adds a pop of color to an otherwise subtle color palette.
- Look around your house for objects you don't use anymore and use them as decorations.
- Include colors that reflect the design of the rest of the living room. To make the shelf feel cohesive with the rest of your living space, look around and pick out a couple of colors that you can repeat on the shelf. This might be a color from your curtains, carpet, or rug, or it might be a color in a piece of artwork that you'd like to bring out more.[4]
- For a modern look, opt for monochrome colors, like all-white. However, don't be afraid to add in a graphic pop of color!
- For a more traditional look, opt for warm, dark woods, and rich colors like burgundy and gold.
- If your style is more rustic, look for lighter woods and natural colors like forest green.
- Fill up your shelf with color or use one bright object to make your room pop.
- Use boxes and trays to hide clutter. You may need to use your shelf to store items like loose papers, phone chargers, or other small, objects that are functional but unattractive. If that's the case, keep the items close at hand but out of sight by hiding them in pretty boxes or magazine holders. This will help keep your clutter contained, but you'll still be able to easily reach your objects when you need them.[5]
- You can also group small objects like paperclips or coins together in small bowls or on trays.
- Look for boxes that are decorative and nice to make your display look more purposeful.
- Add green plants to bring a touch of nature into your living room. Houseplants are a great way to add natural beauty to your home, and a living room shelf is a perfect place to display them. Choose a plant that's well-suited to the amount of natural sunlight in the room, and consider the size of the plant and how it will fit with the scale of the shelf.[6]
- For instance, if you have a narrow shelf, you could display a cactus in a small container.
- If you don't want to take care of a plant, use faux greenery instead.
- Display seasonal decorations if you enjoy celebrating various holidays. A living room shelf is one of the best places to display your holiday decorations. Whether you love keeping freshly-cut flowers in the spring, you need a place to display your menorah at Hanukkah, or you can't celebrate Christmas without your dancing Santa, use your shelf to show off your holiday spirit!
- By changing the decorations throughout the year, your shelf will always look fresh!
EditArranging Your Items - Make use of the depth by arranging some objects further back on the shelf. If you pull everything to the end of a shelf, the final result will be very flat. If you have a deep enough shelf, try placing some items closer to the wall, and others toward the front of the shelf. That way, your eye will immediately be able to see the depth, and the shelf will look more visually interesting.[7]
- For instance, you can lean artwork, large books, or even painted, empty picture frames at the back of the shelf. Then, you can place smaller statues, framed pictures, or other decorative items near the edge of the shelf.
- Make sure you're not putting items too close to the front of the shelf since it will look unbalanced and could be a falling hazard.
- Balance the scale of the objects you're using. The size of your shelf should dictate the height and width of the decorations you include. For instance, a large mantle might be the perfect place for a huge framed portrait, but that same picture would look out of place above a short floating shelf.[8]
- Similarly, the pieces should balance with each other. If you're using a few larger pieces, a very tiny, delicate figurine would be lost in the design, for example.
- Leave some empty space so the shelf doesn't look cluttered. Unless you're going for a very modern look, your shelf shouldn't be sparse, but there should be some empty space between some of the objects. As you're arranging your decor, step back every so often and take a look at how everything is grouped together. If anything looks too crowded, try moving the items further apart, or remove something from the shelf.[9]
- There's no definite rule for how much empty space there should be. Just trust your own taste on this. If you're still not sure, ask a friend or a family member for their opinion.
- Start with an assortment of objects and remove them as you go while you're styling. Try different arrangements until you get the look you want.
- Group objects in odd numbers. For some reason, odd-numbered groups of objects are typically more pleasing to the eye than even-numbered collections. While groups of 3 are probably the most common, you can gather 5 or 7 smaller objects together on your shelf as well.[10]
- These don't have to be groups of the same object. For instance, you could lean a large art book against the wall, then place a heavy marble paperweight and a bowl full of pretty river rocks in front of the book to make a nice tableau.
- Arrange items so they're slightly asymmetrical for a natural look. Perfect symmetry tends to look a little formal, so you should avoid it if you want your living room to feel more relaxed and comfortable. Place objects so they're a little off-center, and vary the size and shape of the objects you choose for opposite ends of the shelf.[11]
- For instance, you could place a lamp on one side of the shelf and a sculpture on the other, with a houseplant slightly to the left of the middle of the shelf and a stack of books just to the right.
- If you feel stuck, ask someone for their opinion. They may notice something different that you wouldn't have seen by yourself.
EditSources and Citations EditQuick Summary
Cite error: <ref> tags exist, but no <references/> tag was found
|
Nenhum comentário:
Postar um comentário