| How to Decrease Aquarium Algae Naturally Posted: 18 Mar 2019 01:00 AM PDT Aquarium algae isn't a pretty sight, but it's something that every aquarium owner is going to face eventually. Luckily, decreasing algae naturally can be accomplished by healthy tank care procedures such as water testing, the addition of plants and sea life, and regular cleaning and water swapping. Once you know how to combat algae growth and keep your tank maintained, you'll have no trouble keeping the many colors of algae at bay. EditCombating Algae Growth - Determine the different colors of algae in your tank. Different kinds of algae thrive in different aquarium conditions. Look in your tank for the 4 main types of algae—blue-green, red, brown, and green—and rank them from most prevalent to least prevalent. From here, focus most on the procedures that work on the most prevalent algae in your tank.[1]
- Blue-green algae thrive in general poor water conditions. They develop on your fish, which will eventually start to look moldy—especially when they're motionless.
- Red algae are caused by a lack of carbon dioxide and hang all over your aquarium in threads.
- Brown algae thrive in conditions with a lack of adequate light and form in large, brown layers.
- Green algae are caused by too much light and can make your aquarium look like pea soup.
- Boost carbon dioxide levels in your aquarium to starve red algae. Oxygen works to starve algae, which prevents them from growing. Invest in aeration devices such as airstones, bubble disks, and air pumps. This will boost carbon dioxide levels and even add give your fish some fun items to play with.[2]
- Purchase carbon dioxide boosters from pet stores and online suppliers.
- Decrease excess food to remove algae nutrition for blue-green and brown algae. Although fish need food to survive, too much leads to high ammonia and phosphate levels in your tank. The end result is often increased algae growth. Always stick to small portions of food that your fish can eat quickly to keep your tank clean and maintain a steady, effective feeding schedule. Ideally, you should feed your fish 1 to 2 times daily with minimal portions.[3]
- Take note of leftover foods—if you see any, decrease the size of the next batch of food.
- Use an automatic feeder to ensure timely feeding and prevent overfeeding.
- Add live plants to your aquarium to decrease brown and green algae. Live plants provide algae with resource competition and inhibit their growth. Over time, they starve algae by consuming excess nutrients in the water that are needed for algae survival. Start by adding 1 or 2 and increase the amount if necessary.[4]
- Use Java Moss, Amazon Sword, Java Fern, Hornwort, Dwarf Lilies, Water Wisteria, and Crypt Wendtii for the best results.
- Keep an eye on algae levels after adding plants to gauge their effect. If algae levels aren't changing, add more plants!
- Be aware that some plants do not do well with high powered filters. Find a balance between filtration, your fish species, and the type of plants that they can be housed with.
- Decrease your tank's light exposure to prevent green algae growth. Keep the aquarium away from unshaded windows and only turn the aquarium lights on when viewing your fish. This will decrease green algae levels tremendously. In addition, always keep your tank out of direct sunlight for the best results. If you need to put your aquarium near a window, install some curtains so you can control the light exposure of your aquarium. In general, about 8 to 12 hours of light per day is ideal for aquariums with plants.[5]
- Decrease your aquarium's light exposure to 6 to 10 hours a day if it doesn't have plants.
- Connect your lights to automatic timers to control light exposure.
- If decreasing light exposure isn't working, trying decreasing the intensity of your lights.
- Change your light bulbs at least once a year.
- Introduce algae-eating fish, shrimp, and snails into your aquarium. The catfish, bushy-nosed pleco, and Siamese algae eater are common algae-eating fish. For shrimp, stick with Amano Shrimp and Red Cherry Shrimp. Any freshwater snail will likely be effective.[6]
- Nerite snails, Mystery Snails, Ivory Snails, and Gold Inca Snails are all great choices.
- In terms of fish for saltwater tanks, angelfish, blennies or tangs are great choices.
- Don't rely solely on algae-eating species to control your problem.
- Keep phosphate levels below 0.05 ppm. Higher phosphate levels can lead to algae proliferation. Purchase a test kit for phosphate from a local aquarium. Now, fill the tube to the required level and add your testing solution. Shake the tube and match the water color to the provided chart to determine the phosphate levels.[7]
- Add poly filters or a carbon-phosphate remover to the tank to decrease phosphate levels.
- Maintain nitrate levels between 20 and 40 ppm. The presence of nitrate can help algae grow. Head to a local aquarium and purchase a nitrate testing kit. Now, fill the test tube to the indicated level, add your testing solution, and shake the tube. Match the color of the water to the testing kit's chart to determine nitrate levels.[8]
- Change water weekly to keep nitrate levels low.
EditFollowing Proper Maintenance Procedures - Swap at least 10 percent of your water daily until the algae are gone. Use a bucket to remove 10 percent of the water daily. Either remove the water manually or use it with a siphon if you want to minimize heavy lifting. After removing 10 percent of the water, fill the tank up with filtered water.[9]
- If you're adding cold water, make sure the temperature is acceptable for the species of fish in your tank.
- Use a water conditioner when swapping water.
- A 10 percent daily swap means you should be switching your water completely every 10 weeks.
- Do not swap more than 20 percent of the aquarium water daily.
- For saltwater tanks, add ½ cup (118 grams) of sea salt per of water and mix it thoroughly.
- Fill your tank with filtered water. Although well water and tap water can work for some freshwater tanks, your safest bet is filtered water. The former options typically contain high levels of nitrates and phosphates, which increase algae growth. Use a filter that is meant for more than the size you actually have. For example, a tank should have a filter.[10]
- Never replenish your tank with well or tap water.
- Purchase a water filter from a home hardware store or online supplier.
- Clean your fish tank once a week to remove waste. Fish waste contains nitrates and ammonia, which promote algae growth. Start by using an algae pad to clean the inside glass by wiping it in circular motions. Afterward, run a siphon-type vacuum along the surface of the gravel. Finally, use an aquarium-safe glass cleaner or a 1:1 solution of vinegar and water, dip a microfiber cloth in it, and wipe down the outer surface of the tank.[11]
- Wipe off any decorations with your algae pad.
- For algae that is difficult to remove, use a razor blade or plastic blade to scrape it off.
- Never let bleach, soap, or other cleaning chemicals get into your water, as they can kill your aquatic life and beneficial bacteria.
- Create your own gentle aquarium siphon and vacuum if you'd like.
- Minimize the use of tank additives. Common additives include bark extract, acid regulators, buffers, salt, and water conditioner solutions. Although tank additives can sometimes help you create a healthy ecosystem, overuse can lead to too many nutrients and cause algae growth. Only use these additives when absolutely necessary.[12]
- Don't use algaecides unless you haven't had any success with any other options. Most of them contain chemicals that can harm your fish.
- Most pet stores provide free water tests if you bring in a sample of your aquarium water.
- Never overstock! Always take the size of your tank and the types of aquatic animals it carries into consideration. Do your research on how many fish you can own in your aquarium's size and how much filtration is needed.
EditSources and Citations EditQuick Summary
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| How to Celebrate St. Patrick's Day Posted: 17 Mar 2019 05:00 PM PDT St. Patrick's Day is a cultural and religious holiday celebrated on the 17th of March, and named in honor of the patron saint of Ireland. The festival commemorates the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, as well as celebrating Irish heritage and culture. St. Patrick's Day is now celebrated by many people throughout the world, Irish and non-Irish alike, with food, drink, and all things green. Here are some guidelines on how to celebrate St. Patrick's Day Irish-style! EditGet Ready to Celebrate - Go green. Unless you want to, you don't have to wear a sweater with a giant shamrock on it. (Though that would certainly help you stand out.) The great thing about this holiday is you are free to go as subtle or as wild as you like. St. Patrick's Day t-shirts have been a common article of clothing to wear proudly. Consider the following suggestions when picking out something to wear:
- An all green t-shirt with optional Irish-related sayings, for example, "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" Note that no real Irish person over the age of ten would be caught dead in one of these. T-shirts with Irish beer monikers such as Harp or Guinness are more acceptable
- For those who are feeling particularly festive, try buying or making a leprechaun costume, replete with white stockings, green top hat and fake (or real!) red beard.
- If you're working on March 17th, you can still get into the festive spirit by incorporating a little green into your work attire. Try a green-striped polo or collared shirt, a green or shamrock-dotted tie, or green socks and undies for the closet St. Paddy's Day fans.
- Accessorize. Buttons, pins and jewelry are all great ways to dress up an outfit. On St. Patrick's Day, they become ways to express the fun side of fashion. Nothing is too gaudy or outlandish. Buttons with clever (or not so clever) sayings are also encouraged. Small shamrock pins are a great and subtle way to express your support of the holiday.
- It is a tradition in Ireland for all attending parades and generally celebrating to wear a small collection of Shamrock fastened by a clothespin to your top (in the same place as a badge would be worn).
- Dying your hair or your pet's fur bright green is also a great way to stand out. Be sure to use a non-toxic dye.
- It's also common to see kids (and sometimes adults) with their faces painted on St. Patrick's Day, particularly if they're attending the parade. Cute shamrocks on the cheeks are a popular option, along with full-faced Irish flags of green, white and orange.
- Learn some Irish words and phrases. The Irish have their own distinct dialect of the English language, so if you want to sound like a true Paddy on St. Patrick's day, try sprinkling some of these Hiberno-English gems into your conversation:
 - What's the craic? This phrase can be interpreted as either "How's it going?" or "What's going on?" or "What's up?" and is used in non-formal settings. Craic is a very important word in Ireland and can be used to describe your enjoyment of an event or activity, e.g "How was the party?" "Ah sure, it was great craic altogether!" Use "craic" in the correct context and you'll earn major points with the Irish.
- Grand. Grand is another multi-purpose word in Hiberno-English. It doesn't mean large or impressive, but rather translates as "fine" or "great" depending on the context. "I'm grand" is a perfectly acceptable reply to the question "How are you?" and means the person is doing just fine. If you ask an Irish person "How did the exam go?" and they reply "It was grand" that means it went okay, it wasn't amazing, but it wasn't a disaster either.
- Eejit. Eejit is basically the Irish word for idiot. If someone does something silly or stupid, you can comment "Ah ya big eejit!" It's not meant to be offensive, rather it's used to make fun of someone in a playful way.
- Learn to Irish Dance. Irish dancing is a form of step dancing which is popular both in Ireland and all over the world. Not only will it impress everyone you know, but it's also a fun way to increase flexibility and burn calories! You can learn how to Irish dance by attending classes in your local area or by copying some of the excellent Irish dancing videos and tutorials online. Whip out a few impressive steps and lifts the next time you hear a reel or a jig and nobody will question your Irish credentials.
- Get some friends together and learn how to céili (kay-lee) dance - a form of Irish social dancing that can be done with as few as two and as many as sixteen people.
- If you get good enough you can compete in the many feiseanna or Irish dancing competitions that take place all over the world. Even better, you can volunteer to perform in the next St. Patrick's Day parade!
- Learn a little of the history of St Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day has been observed as a religious festival in Ireland for over a thousand years, though it was only recognized as a celebration of Irish culture and heritage in the 1970s.[1] The day is named in honor of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, who has been credited with bringing Christianity to Ireland. There are multiple origin stories for St. Patrick, but:
- Most sources agree that St. Patrick's actual name was Maewyn Succat. They also agree that Maewyn was kidnapped and sold into slavery at age 16 and, to help him endure his enslavement, he turned to God.[2]
- Six years after his captivity began, St. Patrick escaped from slavery to France, where he became a priest, and then the second Bishop to Ireland. He spent the next 30 years establishing schools, churches, and monasteries across the country. He brought Christianity widespread acceptance amongst the pagan indigenous peoples.[3]
- It is thought that St. Patrick used a shamrock as a metaphor for the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), showing how three individual units could be part of the same body. His parishioners began wearing shamrocks to his church services. Today, "the wearing of the green" on St. Patrick's Day represents spring, shamrocks, and Ireland.[3]
EditOn the Day - Travel to Ireland. What better way to celebrate the quintessential Irish holiday than a trip to the land of Saints and Scholars! Dublin, the capital city, usually holds a five day festival in honor of the holiday and is the location of Ireland's largest and most impressive St. Patrick's Day parade. The city buzzes with life over the course of the festival - thousands of tourists flood the city and the pubs are overflowing with travelers and locals alike, eager to "drown the shamrock". So if you're looking to celebrate St. Patrick's Day in true Irish fashion, this is the place to be!
- Alternatively, you can take a trip down the country to escape from the tourist-ridden streets of Dublin and experience a somewhat quieter, but more authentic version of the holiday. Most towns will have some semblance of a parade - the quality varying from decent to poor - but the real reason to go is for the vibrant pub-scene, where you can enjoy high-quality traditional and contemporary Irish music surrounded by an authentic Irish crowd!
- As mentioned above, thousands of tourists flock to Ireland every March so it's advisable to book flights and accommodation well in advance, to avoid soaring prices and possible disappointment.
- Eat traditional Irish food. Beer and spirits are not the only great consumable goods to come out of Ireland. Corned beef, cabbage and lamb stew accompanied by traditional Irish soda bread are tasty ways to "keep it real." Potatoes are about as Irish as you can get and are one of the staples of the Irish diet.
- Traditional Irish foods include bangers and mash, colcannon, bacon (boiled ham) and cabbage, stew, boxty, Shepherd's Pie, potato bread and black pudding.
- In Ireland, the day is usually celebrated by eating food such as pink bacon or savory roast chicken. Note that corned beef and cabbage is more of an Irish-American tradition than an authentically Irish one.[4]
- Play some Irish music. Ireland has a long history with music, and many incredible styles have emerged. Celtic, folk and traditional Irish pub songs might just get you in the St. Patrick's Day spirit! You can play some Irish music at home, listen to it on the radio (some stations will have special St. Patrick's Day features) or find out about any Irish bands or musicians playing locally.
- Find a compilation CD of traditional Irish songs or download some individual songs online. You should easily be able to find traditional Irish music by artists such as The Chieftains, The Dubliners, Planxty and Clannad, for example.
- If traditional music isn't your thing, don't forget about the many contributions Irish musicians have made to the world of rock and pop. Think U2, Van Morrison, Thin Lizzy and The Cranberries.
- Alternatively, you can try your hand at some traditional Irish instruments, such as the tin whistle, the bodhrán, the harp, the fiddle or the uilleann pipes. However, you're not likely to produce anything very melodic sounding if it's your first time!
- Attend or get involved in local parades. If you can't make it to the five day festival in Dublin, Ireland, check out the scene locally. Many parades feature the best of local dance troupes, marching bands, gymnasts and musicians in addition to spectacular themed floats and brightly costumed participants. You can enjoy the parade as a spectator or contact your local parade organization committee to get involved.
- There are many ways to participate in your local parade. You can get dressed up and march in the parade yourself, help design costumes or floats or help out with the organization of the parade. St. Patrick's day is a festive, communal holiday - so get involved!
- Though small towns aren't likely to have parades, many large cities such as New York City, Boston, St. Louis, San Francisco, Chicago, London, Montreal and Sydney have great celebrations.
- Savannah, GA boasts the second largest parade in the United States, while out of any US state, Boston has the highest number of Irish descendants by percentage of population, and its South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade is the first recorded anywhere in the world.[5]
- Check out the pub scene. Most bars and pubs love St. Patrick's Day, as it's one of the few holidays known for a marked increase in alcohol consumption, so many will be catering to patrons with a festive St. Patrick's theme. You may find special prices on draft beer, food and cover charges. Call around to your favorite joints and ask if they have any celebration plans.
- A pub crawl can be a great way to get some friends together and explore the local pub scene, especially if there are a lot of Irish bars in your area. Make a list of the pubs you want to visit in advance (if you are ambitious you could aim for 17 pubs in honor of March 17th!), then make a rule that everyone needs to have a pint in each pub you visit. 17 pints of Guinness anyone?
- It would be a shame to drink Budweiser on St. Patrick's Day, regardless of where in the world you are. If Guinness isn't your thing, try a pint of Bulmers (also called Magners) cider, Smithwick's ale, Jameson Irish whiskey or some Bailey's Irish cream. Whatever you drink, avoid any green beer.
- Consider having a party at home. If you aren't a fan of the bar scene but still want to celebrate, invite a few friends over and have a St. Patrick's Day themed party. Go as extreme or as laid back as you want: insist that everyone wear green or just have them come as they are and chill out with a few beers.
- Consider starting a tradition, such as watching a movie, "The Quiet Man" with John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara is a fun choice; serve corned beef and cabbage or Irish stew with colcannon (mashed potatoes and cabbage).
- Make green beer and green chocolate chip cookies for your party.
- In Ireland it is common to get together with family for St. Patrick's Day, so perhaps you'd like to do this too.
- Green doughnuts can be fun, especially if you can shape them as a clover. Quite a few stores make these if you'd rather buy them.
- Some people celebrate this day by pinching people who are not wearing green. There are many people who don't like to be pinched though, so be careful!
- The 8th-17th of March is Seachtain na Gaeilge, which translates to "Week of Ireland/Irish". If you're Irish, try to celebrate this week by speaking more Irish than you would normally.
- Be respectful. St. Patrick's Day began as a Catholic feast day and is still regarded as such in Ireland. Some people in Ireland, particularly in the countryside, still observe the feast day by attending mass. Although drinking and partying on St. Patrick's Day is widespread, it is important to be aware of this fact.
- Be responsible. Whether you are going out to a bar or over to a friend's, drinking and driving is not acceptable. Select a designated driver in advance who will not drink and will be sure you get home safely.
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| How to Overcome Barriers to Communication Posted: 17 Mar 2019 09:00 AM PDT Communication barriers can make any kind of relationship more difficult, whether it's one you have at work, a friendship, or one with your spouse. Breaking down those barriers will help you have a happier, healthier relationship overall. Work on your listening skills and approach each discussion with honesty and an open mind. Also, do your best to communicate as clearly as you can with the other person, and you will find you're communicating more effectively. EditWorking on Language Barriers - Speak slowly and clearly without jargon and idioms. It's easy to get caught up in technical language and jargon when you're used to talking that way around your team. However, not everyone will be able to follow that language, so it's important to state things as simply as you can. That way, you include everyone when you're speaking.[1]
- Whenever possible, use the present tense and active verbs.
- This rule doesn't just apply to technical jargon. You should also avoid big words that aren't common and idioms, particularly when you're talking with non-native speakers. Idioms, in particular, can be difficult to cut out of your language, but they are equally difficult for non-native speakers to understand.
- For instance, saying, "It's raining cats and dogs" isn't going to make a lot of sense to a non-native speaker, as it uses an English idiom. Instead, you might say, "The rain is coming down really hard outside."
- Provide pictures to make communicating concepts easier. Whether you're having trouble explaining a difficult concept or you're speaking to a group of people with different native languages, pictures can be the solution. Pictures and diagrams make it easier to get your point across, ensuring everyone is on the same page.[2]
- For instance, if you're trying to explain a new product, showing pictures or videos of how it works can be more effective than just talking about it.
- Hire translators when speaking different languages is causing miscommunication. When you speak another language from people you're working with, translators are often a necessity. Even if you speak a common language, nuances can be lost when you or the other people you're working with don't speak the common language very well. A translator or translation service can make your life easier and help avoid misunderstandings.[3]
- Offer classes to non-native speakers in your workplace. If you have people who don't speak the local language very well, that can create communication barriers at work. On-site classes during the work week make it easier for people to work on their new language, and in turn, that will make workplace communication easier.[4]
- Even an informal class taught by someone in the workplace can help if you don't want to hire someone from the outside.
- This concept also works well the other way. If you have a sister office in India, for instance, offer classes in your office to learn Hindi to make it easier to communicate with your sister team members.[5]
- Say things more than once for emphasis to introduce a complicated concept. When you're trying to get a concept across, repeating it more than once will help it stick in the listeners' minds. Even if you have no language barriers, many people need to hear a difficult concept several times for it to make sense.[6]
- Try not to repeat the same thing word-for-word. Rather, re-state it in a different way, just in case someone didn't understand the way you explained it the first time.
- For instance, you might say, "Our new model shows social media is the best way to reach customers. On social media, you can engage people effectively, or so our research says."
EditEncouraging Open Communication - Be honest with the person you're talking to. Of course, the relationship with the person will determine how much you share with them. You'll tell much more to a partner than you would somewhat at work. However, the principle remains the same. You need to be willing to be truthful with them and be vulnerable and open about your mistakes.[7]
- For instance, with your partner, you need to be honest about what you're feeling and how certain situations affect you. For instance, if you snap at your partner, you might say, "I apologize for snapping at you. I'm feeling upset about work, and I took it out on you."
- At work, you need to be open about mistakes you've made or problems you're facing. For instance, you might say, "You know what, that was my mistake. I'll get it fixed right away."
- Don't filter the message. This is similar to being open and honest about yourself, but with a key difference. When you filter a message, you withhold key information because you don't want to be blamed for it, whether it was your fault or not. You need to be able to deliver messages without removing information so that the other person can trust you.[8]
- For instance, at work, you might not tell your boss about the bad sales report because you don't want to get blamed for it. However, holding back the whole picture stifles communication and keeps you from working together effectively.
- React positively when someone is honest with you. If you're honest with others, they're more likely to be honest with you. However, if you've exploded at someone in the past or blamed them for something that wasn't their fault when they shared bad news, they're less likely to talk to you about important issues. Also, they're more likely to filter the message for you, and you won't get a clear picture of what's going on.[9]
- For instance, maybe your partner has told you in the past when your kid gets in trouble at school, but you tended to explode about it. In turn, your partner may start filtering the information they give you because they don't want you to get angry. Instead, try to react calmly to the situation and thank them for sharing the information with you.
- Calm down before having a discussion. If you're upset and your emotions are running wild, you're going to have a hard time listening and communicating with the other person. It's important that you both take time to cool off before you have a discussion. That way, you can have an honest, calm discussion.[10]
- Just let the other person you need a little while. For instance, you could say, "I do want to discuss this with you, but I need a little while to cool down. Can we come back to this in an hour?"
- Use "I" statements when discussing your feelings. "I" statements help take the blame off the other person. They allow you to express what you're thinking and feeling without putting the other person on guard.[11]
- For instance, instead of saying, "You always come home late," which is a blaming statement, say, "I feel anxious when you arrive late."
- Follow up agreements with actions. Once you compromise or come to an agreement, stick to it. Show that you're true to your word by following through with what you've said. Otherwise, in your next discussion, the other person will have a hard time believing you.[12]
- In other words, be honest in your actions as well as your words. If you say you'll be home at 6 each night, be home at 6 or call to let the person know you'll be late.
- Avoid continuing an argument just so you can win. Discussions shouldn't be about winning. They should be about coming to a compromise or agreement you can both live with. If you keep holding on to the need to win, you're just going to make both of you upset as you try to dominate every discussion.[13]
- This process requires you to regulate your emotions and your competitive drive. If you feel yourself wanting to keep arguing, step back for a second and ask yourself if it's worth it. What compromise can you live with?
- Forgive faults in other people. No one is perfect, including you! If you are constantly criticizing other people for their faults, you'll break down the roads of communication. No one wants to be around someone who's negative all the time! The next time you catch yourself continually criticizing someone, try to stop yourself or rethink what you wanted to say.[14]
- For example, if you're always telling your partner how bad they are at cleaning up, you're going to make them upset and frustrated. Instead, praise them when you see them doing something good! Then they'll want to do more things like that to please you.
EditLearning to Listen - Give the other person your full attention. Turn off distractions, such as the television or the radio. Set your notifications to "off" on your phone and put the phone down. Don't try to listen with half your focus. Consciously turn all of your thoughts to the person you're listening to.[15]
- Sometimes, you can't turn off distractions. For instance, if you're in a cafe with the person, you can't turn off the music or the television in the background. In that case, do your best to block them out.
- In addition, make sure you're not just focusing on your side of the argument and what you want to say next. Try to focus on what they have to say and actually hear their point-of-view.[16]
- Re-state and summarize what the person said. Don't repeat everything you hear. However, do take time to check in with the person as they're speaking. Give a brief statement or summary of what you've heard and ask the person if that's right.[17]
- For instance, you might say, "So, if I'm hearing you right, you're saying you're feeling overworked and stressed out by your boss."
- This shows you're listening and helps you to make sure you're getting the story right.
- Try not to interrupt the person. Rather, wait for them to take a break before making a statement.
- Ask for clarification when you miss things. Most people don't talk linearly. They may go back and forth in time or not tell a story logically. If you feel like you've missed something, don't be afraid to ask a question. That shows them that you care enough to make sure you understand exactly what they're saying.[18]
- For example, you might say, "Would you mind going back to that other part of the story? I think I missed something."
- Offer emotional labels for what the person is saying. Often, when you're wanting to listen well, the other person is trying to communicate how they're feeling emotionally. However, they won't always do that in a straightforward way, so offering emotional labels back to them can be helpful in the communication process.[19]
- For instance, you might say, "If I'm hearing you right, this situation is making you anxious and frustrated."
- Ask for time to think when you need it. Sometimes, when a person finishes, you may need a few minutes to analyze what they said. It's fine to take a moment. You don't have to respond instantly, but you should let them know.[20]
- You might say, "That's interesting. Give me a few minutes to think about that."
- Learn to express empathy. Empathy is when you feel for the other person for what they're going through. However, you can't connect with them unless you are able to express that empathy. Expressing empathy encourages connection, as you're telling them you understand their emotion and you wish you could help.[21]
- You can say things like, "I'm sorry you're going through that," or "I know that must be hard for you." If you need to, work on saying them in front of a mirror and try to pick a tone of voice that seems the most empathetic.
- Think about your nonverbal communication, too. You don't want to be grinning broadly when you tell the other person you're sad they're divorcing their spouse, for instance.
- You don't necessarily have to feel empathy to communicate empathy. In other words, it's fine to fake it, as long as you can do it well. You may not feel depressed by what they're saying. However, it's still important to them, and you should acknowledge that.
- In a global world, some communication barriers are cultural. What means one thing in one culture can mean something completely different in another culture. Be aware that cultural differences exist and try not to get offended when someone makes a mistake with your culture. After all, we're all just human.
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