| How to Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking Posted: 01 Jun 2019 01:00 AM PDT If you're afraid of public speaking, you're not alone. It's totally normal to have performance anxiety when giving a speech. Fortunately, it's possible to overcome your fear so you can give effective public speeches. First, build your confidence by knowing your topic well and preparing for your speech. Then, try relaxation techniques to help you deal with your performance anxiety. Additionally, confront your worries so you can let them go. If you continue to struggle with public speaking, take a class or reach out to someone who can help. EditSpeaking Help EditBuilding Your Confidence - Know your topic really well. It's normal to be afraid that you'll forget something or say something wrong. Being prepared is the best way to handle this fear. Read about your topic so that you understand it well. If you have time, look for documentaries or online videos to help you deepen your understanding.[1]
- When you choose a speech topic, try to pick a subject that you already know about.
- If you're short on time, do an Internet search and read the first few sources that come up. However, make sure these sources are reliable.
- Write your speech so you have a plan for what you want to say. While you don't need to recite your speech word-for-word, it's helpful to write out what you want to say. Include a brief introduction of yourself and your topic. Then, write out paragraphs explaining your main points and support for them. End with a conclusion that tells audience members what to take from your speech.[2]
- Your speech doesn't have to be perfect. You can make revisions while you practice it.
- Prepare an outline or note card to guide you through your speech. It's helpful to have notes when you're giving your speech to help jog your memory when you forget what to say. However, you don't want your notes to be too long because that makes it easy to get tripped up. Instead, include the basic elements of your speech on an outline or note card. This way, you can quickly look down and see a key term to remind you what to say. An outline for a speech about recycling might look like this:[3]
- I. Keeps trash out of landfills
- A. Less trash
- B. Landfills last longer
- II. Saves resources
- A. Used for new products
- B. Cuts use of raw materials
- III. Gives consumers a voice
- A. Can choose recycled
- B. Brands meet consumer wants
- Practice your speech before you give it. You've likely heard the saying, "Practice makes perfect," and it's true. While you might not give a perfect speech, practicing will help you feel confident when you step in front of the audience. Start by reading your speech aloud to yourself. When you feel ready, perform your speech in front of a mirror.[4]
- If you have a time limit for your speech, time yourself when you're practicing. Then, make adjustments if you need to increase the length or cut it down.
- Just listen to your voice at first. Get a feel for the sound of your speech and make adjustments as necessary.
- When you're in front of the mirror, practice making gestures or facial expressions. See what feels right to you.
- Film yourself to help you improve your performance. Use a video camera or your phone to film yourself doing your speech. Act like your phone is the audience, so use gestures and facial expressions. Then, watch the speech and look for areas you can improve. Do this several times to build your confidence.[5]
- Don't worry about the quality of the video or about anyone else seeing it. This video is just for you.
- Give your speech to family and friends before doing it in public. Pick people who will be honest about things that need improvement but are still really supportive of you. Then, perform your speech like you would for an audience. Ask them what they liked about the speech, as well as if you could improve on anything.[6]
- If you're really nervous, start with just 1 person. Then, gradually increase the number of people in your audience.
EditDealing with Performance Anxiety - Smile to quickly release feel-good endorphins. The easiest way to calm down is to smile, even if it's fake. When you smile, your body naturally releases endorphins, which makes you feel better. Fake a smile or think of something funny to help you feel better fast.[7]
- Try thinking of a scene from your favorite comedy. As another option, recite a joke you enjoy.
- If you can, look at your favorite memes on your phone to help you smile naturally.
- Breathe deeply to help your body relax. Slowly inhale through your nose as you count to 5. Then, hold your breath for a 5 count. Finally, exhale slowly as you count to 5. Do a set of 5 slow breaths to help yourself calm down.[8]
- If you're about to go on stage, simply breathe deeply, drawing the air down into your stomach. Then, release out of your mouth.
- Breathing deeply can release the tension in your body and help you calm down quickly.
- Place your hand on your forehead to relax your fight-or-flight response. Performance anxiety can trigger your fight-or-flight response, which naturally sends your blood to your arms and legs. However, you can bring the blood back to your head by placing your hand on your forehead. Your hand will signal to your body to send your blood upward. This will help you center your thoughts for your speech.[9]
- Your blood goes to your limbs during a fight or flight response because your body is anticipating needing to get physical.
- You should start to feel calmer after a few minutes.
- Visualize yourself giving a great speech. Visualization can make you feel like you actually experienced the thing you're imagining. Close your eyes, then picture yourself giving your speech. Imagine that you're doing an excellent job and everyone is excited to hear you. Then, picture yourself concluding your speech and walking away to applause.[10]
- This can help you relax because it makes you feel like you can be successful.
- Use positive self-talk to replace negative thoughts. It's normal to have negative thoughts about yourself before a speech, but they likely aren't true. When you notice a negative thought, stop and acknowledge it. Then, challenge its credibility. Finally, replace it with a positive thought.[11]
- For instance, let's say you catch yourself thinking, "I'm going to look stupid up there." Challenge this by asking yourself, "Why do I think this?" and "What could go right?" Then, tell yourself, "I'm well-prepared for this speech, so I know I'll look knowledgeable."
- Look for opportunities to practice public speaking in low-stress situations. The best way to relieve your anxiety is to get more practice, but that's hard to do when you're afraid. Start small by speaking in front of your friends, volunteering to speak to local clubs, or speaking to small groups in class or at work.[12]
- For instance, you might look for public speaking groups on Meetup.com to find opportunities.
- Offer to give a short presentation to a local Boy Scout, Girl Scout, or Cub Scout troop.
EditConfronting Your Worries - List off the specific worries that are causing your fear. Write it down or speak it aloud to help you process your worries. For instance, you might be afraid of saying the wrong thing or looking silly. Be as specific as possible about what's making you nervous.[13]
- Common worries include being judged, making a mistake, not measuring up, or making a bad impression.
- Challenge your worries by listing the probable outcomes. Ask yourself how likely your fear is to come true. Then, imagine how your speech is likely to go. Think of the positive things that could happen. This should help you realize that your worries are unlikely to come true.[14]
- For example, let's say you're worried that you will forget what you have to say. You could remind yourself that you know your topic well and will have your note card with you to refresh your memory, if you need it. Then, picture yourself using the note card during your speech.
- If the thing you're afraid of has actually happened to you, ease your fear by thinking about what you've done to prevent it from happening again. For instance, remind yourself that you've been thoroughly preparing for the speech and that you've practiced.
- Remind yourself that the audience wants you to succeed. It may feel like the audience is there to judge you, but this isn't true. Your audience is there to hear what you have to say and learn something they can use. They want you to do a good job, so they're on your side. Think of them as supporters.[15]
- Think about how you feel when you go to see someone speak. Are you hoping they'll do a bad job? Do you look for mistakes or judge how nervous they look? Probably not.
- Mingle with your audience before your speech to reduce your fear. Walk through the room and introduce yourself to people. Try to meet as many people as you can. This will help you feel like one of the group, which will make you feel less worried.[16]
- You might stand by the door as people come in to greet them.
- Don't worry if you don't meet everyone.
- You may feel more confident during your speech if you make eye contact with the people you met beforehand. However, this isn't necessary.
EditGetting Additional Help - Take a public speaking class to learn how to give a good speech. Public speaking is a skill that most people have to learn. Look for a class online or at your local library, community center, or community college. You'll learn how to prepare for a speech, how to give a good delivery, and tips for engaging your audience.[17]
- If you're trying to improve your skills for work, look for a class that's designed for business or professional public speaking. You might even be able to get your employer to send you to a professional workshop.
- Work with a therapist to overcome extreme public speaking anxiety. It's okay to need additional help, and performance anxiety can be treated. Your therapist can teach you cognitive-behavioral strategies for confronting your anxiety and working through it. This will help you learn to identify thought and behavior patterns that are causing your performance anxiety. Then, you'll learn what to do differently to help you overcome your fear. Additionally, they'll help you learn new ways to relax before a speech.[18]
- Look for a therapist online or ask for a referral from your doctor.
- Check with your insurance company to find out if they will pay for your treatment.
- Ask your doctor about a calming medication if nothing else helps you. Although you likely don't need medication, sometimes it's useful for helping you cope with performance anxiety. Talk to your doctor to find out if medication is a good choice for you. Then, take it before you give a speech to help you stay relaxed.[19]
- The first time you take the medication should be when you're at home and don't have any plans. This will help you see how it affects you.
- You might decide to use calming medication if you need to do public speaking for your job but are struggling to do it.
- Attend Toastmasters to practice public speaking in a supportive setting. Toastmasters is a nonprofit organization that has branches in many communities. They'll help you build your public speaking skills and give you a safe place to practice. Look for a chapter in your area and attend their meetings.[20]
- You may have to join your local Toastmasters chapter to take advantage of their services.[21]
- Remember, you don't look as nervous as you feel.
- Only you know what you are supposed to say, so it's okay to change things during the presentation. Don't worry if you skip something because no one else knows.
- Don't take anything personally. People who look like they aren't paying attention may be thinking about what you're saying.
EditRelated wikiHows EditReferences
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| How to Wear Red Shoes Posted: 31 May 2019 05:00 PM PDT Nearly every woman could benefit from having a pair of red shoes in her fashion arsenal. Red shoes can punch up the blandest of outfits and make a bold, confident statement. Unfortunately, red shoes can quickly look tacky or inappropriate if worn the wrong way. Use red shoes to add a touch of spice as needed, but resist the temptation to throw them into an already spicy ensemble to prevent red overkill. EditChoosing the Right Shoe - Look for a slinky red stiletto for the ultimate in sexy footwear. If you want a shoe that will leave a lasting impression for a date or big event, a red heel is the way to go. Be careful about what you pair this shoe with, however, since pairing it with too many notably sexy garments can push your look into the realm of trashiness.
- Tone things down with a red pump. If you want to wear your red shoes to work or for a casual stroll down the block, a simple red pump is your best bet. Flats are simple enough to subdue wild red into submission.
- Find middle ground by choosing a low-heeled pump. Heels can look classy, even if they are red. Closed-toe pumps are your best choice, and you can wear them with both casual and dressy outfits.
- Try a different shade of red. If you feel uneasy about wearing a bright red shoe, start out by wearing a deeper shade, like burgundy. A deep shade of red is more subdued and a little less noticeable, which may make you feel more confident about your ability to pull it off.
EditChoosing the Right Outfit - Match red with neutrals. If black, brown, gray, nude, white, and deep navy blue are the only colors found in your outfit, a neutral shoe will only make your outfit seem duller. Adding a bright red shoe can make your style pop. Try wearing a red pump the next time you throw on a black pencil skirt and white button-down blouse.
- Color block. Color blocking is the practice of wearing solid blocks of bright, complementary colors against one another. Try wearing your red shoes against an orange or pink dress.
- Avoid wearing red with red. If you have a solid red dress, do not wear it with your red shoes. If you do, you run the risk of overkill. If you would prefer to wear your bright red shoes with a red dress, choose a deep red dress to add depth to your ensemble.
- Also avoid wearing red shoes with bright green. Red and green are too closely associated with Christmas, and wearing them together will make your outfit look too seasonal. Instead of a bright green, mix your red shoes with deeper shades like olive.
- Wear red shoes with a neutral pattern. Red peep-toe shoes make a good accompaniment to a black and white polka dot dress or pinstripe trousers.
- Pair red shoes with patterns that have traces of red in them. While solid red outfits are often overkill with red shoes, a print with traces of red in it coordinates with your shoes in a subtle, appropriate manner.
- Wear your red pumps with casual clothes. Red shoes look great against denim blue jeans, especially medium and dark washes. A red pump is an easy way to add a pop of color and a twist of sophistication to your everyday style.
- Avoid wearing red shoes with trashy or suggestive pieces. Red shoes are already relatively sexy. Wearing them with ripped jeans, tube tops, cut-off shorts, and other revealing garments does not make you look sexier. Instead of looking confident, it may simply look like you are trying too hard to be noticed.
- Wear your red shoes with a conservatively sexy ensemble. If you want to take full advantage of the seductive nature of red stilettos, pair them with an outfit that is subtly, rather than overtly, sultry. For instance, a little black dress with cap sleeves and a hemline that comes down to your knee can be very sexy, even though it shows a modest amount of skin. This makes it a potential candidate for your red high heels.
- Resist the temptation to adorn yourself in too many red accessories. You can match your red shoes with red lipstick and a red handbag, but stop there. Do not add a red belt, red scarf, red bracelet, and ruby red ring to the mix. A few red accessories looks coordinated, but too many looks overdone.
- If you like the way red shoes brighten up your outfit, experiment with other red accessories, as well. Tie a red belt around a white button-down blouse or sling a bright red purse over your shoulder. Introduce these pieces into your wardrobe one at a time, however, and avoid wearing them all at once.
- Red shoes look great when matched with neutrals and patterns that contain faint traces of red, but they make a poor choice for solid red outfits. You should also avoid red shoes with outfits that are already fairly sultry.
- No two pairs of red shoes are created equal. Before you can determine what to wear your red shoes with, you need to ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by wearing your shoes and where you plan on walking in them. For instance, a red high heel might be appropriate for a date, but a flat is better suited for the office.
EditThings You'll Need - Red shoes
- Neutral colored clothing
- Patterned clothing
- Minimal red accessories
EditReferences |
| How to Revive a Dying Aloe Vera Plant Posted: 31 May 2019 09:00 AM PDT Aloe vera plants make great indoor or outdoor plants; they are also handy to have around because of their healing properties. These plants are succulents, and therefore can become sick due to overwatering, underwatering, and other environmental factors. Root rot is one of the most common ailments of Aloe vera plants, but they can also become sunburned. If your Aloe vera plant looks a little under the weather, don't lose hope! You can still revive it! EditRepotting Due to Root Rot - Remove the Aloe vera plant from its current pot. One of the typical reasons for Aloe vera plant death is root rot. In order to determine if this is the case, you need to first take the plant out of its pot.[1]
 - Loosely hold the base of the plant and the bottom of your pot. Tip the pot upside down, and continue holding the plant with your other hand. Hit the bottom of the pot with your hand or knock it against a table ledge (or other hard surface).[2]
- Depending on the size of your plant, you may need another person to help you. One person should hold the plant base with both hands, while the other person tips the pot upside down and hits the bottom.[3]. You might also find it helpful to jostle the pot back and forth until the plant comes loose.
- If you still have difficulties removing your plant with two sets of hands, you can run a trowel or knife around the interior of the pot and try releasing it again, or push some of the soil out through the drainage holes in the bottom of the pot. If your plant still does not come out of the pot, you may need to break your pot, but this is a last resort.[4]
- While releasing the Aloe Vera plant from its pot, be sure that you are keeping the plant itself as steady as possible. All the movement should be centered on the pot, not the plant itself. In other words, hold, don't pull, the plant. Hitting the bottom of the pot will keep your roots intact, and gravity will push the plant downward.
- Tend the roots. Examine the roots and determine how many of the roots are still healthy. Mushy roots are characteristic of root rot and need to be removed.[5] Any roots that aren't black or mushy are good and can be kept.
- If you see a lot of healthy roots and only a section of dead or mushy roots, you can likely save your plant without too much trouble, but you'll need to cut away the damaged roots.[6] You can use a sharp, sterilized knife to cut away the dead roots,[7] but make sure to get them all.
- If you notice that the majority of your plant has damaged roots, it will take a little more effort to save the plant, and it may be beyond saving. In this case, you can try to save the plant by removing the largest leaves (with a knife). Cut away about half of the plant. This method is risky. However, with fewer leaves to nourish, the small amount of undamaged roots can better direct nutrients throughout the plant.[8]
- Choose a pot that is one-third larger than the root system. Any excess soil will hold water and could cause root rot in the future, so a smaller pot is better than a larger one.[9]
- The roots of Aloe vera plants grow horizontally, rather than vertically. [10] Aloe vera plants can also become quite heavy, and the weight of the plant can cause a narrow pot to tip over. Thus, select a wide pot, rather than a deep or narrow pot.[11]
- The pot you choose should also have plenty of drainage holes on the bottom so that excess water does not sit in the soil.[12]
- A plastic pot is best if you live in a dryer climate, while a pot made from terra cotta or clay is best for cooler or humid areas.[13]
- Use potting soil suitable for cactus or succulents. This type of soil has a higher sand content and produces a well-draining environment for your plant. You can find this type of soil easily at your local garden center.[14]
- You can also create your own soil mix for your Aloe vera plant by mixing equal parts of sand, gravel or pumice, and soil.[15] Be sure to use a coarse sand (like builder's sand), rather than a fine sand. Fine sand can clump and hold water, rather than allowing it to drain down and through the pot.[16]
- Although you can use potting soil for Aloe vera plants, they will thrive better in a mixed soil.[17] Potting soil is more likely to hold moisture and could therefore cause root rot.
- Replant your Aloe vera. Prepare the pot by filling it with the potting soil mixture, and shake your Aloe vera plant gently to remove about a third of the soil that has attached itself to the root ball.[18] Place your plant in the newly prepared pot and cover the top with more of the potting soil mixture. Be sure that the entire root ball is covered with the soil mixture , but don't bury the plant deeper than it was in the first pot.[19]
- You can also layer small rocks or gravel on the top of the soil, which helps reduce the evaporation of water.[20]
- Do not water immediately after repotting. Your Aloe vera plant needs a few days to readjust to its new pot and to repair any broken roots.[21]
EditMonitoring Water - Check the soil. You can tell if your Aloe vera plant needs to be watered by pressing your index finger a few inches down into the soil. If the soil is dry, your plant needs water. Aloe vera plants are succulents and do not need to be watered often. Overwatering can kill your plant![22]
- If you keep your plant outside, watering every two weeks should be sufficient.[23]
- If you keep your plant inside, water it every three to four weeks.[24]
- Modify watering according to the season. Aloe vera plants need more water in the warmer months, but less in the cooler months. Water less often in Fall and Winter, especially if your plant lives in a cool space.[25]
- Examine the leaves. As a succulent, Aloe vera plants store water in their leaves. If you notice the leaves are dropping or are becoming almost transparent, your plant likely needs water.[26]
- However, the same qualities can be a sign of root rot, caused by overwatering. Ask yourself when you watered your plant last. If you watered it recently, you should remove the plant from the pot and check for root rot.[27]
- Water until the soil is just moist. Water should never sit on top of the surface of the soil, so water with a light hand. Continue to check your plant weekly or bi-weekly by testing the soil to see if it needs to be watered.
EditCaring for a Sunburnt Plant - Check the leaves. If the leaves of your Aloe vera plant are turning brown or red, your plant may be sunburned.[28]
- Reposition your plant. Move your plant to a place where it receives indirect, rather than direct, sunlight.[29]
- If your plant is typically in a position to receive artificial light rather than sunlight, reposition the plant so that there is a greater distance between it and the light source. You can also try moving it outside so that it is getting some indirect natural light, rather than artificial light.[30]
- Water your plant. Check the soil and determine if your plant needs to be watered. The soil is likely dry if your plant has been getting too much sunlight, since the water would be evaporating more quickly.[31]
- Remove dead leaves. With a sharp, sterilized knife, cut the leaf away from the plant at the base. Any leaves that are dead take nutrients from other parts of the plant, so be sure to remove them so that the rest of your plant doesn't suffer.[32]
- Instead of snapping off leaves when you want to use the aloe, cut the leaves at the base with a sharp knife where the leaf meets the soil. The plant will heal itself better from a more precise cut.[33]
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