| How to Ask for Help Posted: 03 Jan 2020 12:00 AM PST Maybe you're a new parent overwhelmed by keeping the house in order. Or maybe you're a student struggling with a tough homework assignment. Everyone has been in a situation where they could use some help. Unfortunately, it can feel tough to ask for help. Maybe you feel embarrassed or scared that you'll be turned down. Don't worry! Once you figure out what you need, you can make a polite and organized request. Chances are someone will be happy to give you the help you need! [Edit]Figuring Out What Kind of Help You Need - Make a list of what you need. It's normal to feel overwhelmed in general and just want some help. However, you'll be better prepared to ask for help if you can clearly articulate your needs. For example, maybe you've recently had surgery and need a lot of help just getting things done. Your list might look like this:[1]
- Go to the grocery store
- Take the kids to dentist appointments
- Walk the dog
- Help with depression
- Rate the importance of each need. Assign a number from 1-10 to each need. A 10 means that this task is essential, a 1 means that it is not that important. This will help you figure out your most pressing needs. You can start with getting help for those, and then work your way down the list. For example, it's normal to struggle with depression after a surgery. That would be rated a 10, since it can impact your ability to take care of other needs.
- Write down a list of people who could help you. While it might seem daunting to ask for help, remember that there are likely plenty of people in your life who will be more than happy to help you. Start with family and close friends and then think about other parts of your network. Your list might include:[2]
- Your partner
- Your siblings
- Your children
- Your best friend
- Your neighbors
- Match each person with one specific need. Now it is time to compare your lists. Choose which person to ask for help with each task. Maybe your sister is a therapist. Ask her for some ideas about how to cope with depression. If your kids are old enough, they can walk the dog. Ask your partner to take a break from work to make sure the kids get to the dentist. Ask your neighbor if they would mind picking up a few things at the grocery store the next time they make a run. Choose people based on their abilities and their relationship to you.[3]
- This is called delegating tasks. Delegating tasks to people you trust can help you reduce stress, especially in times when you need extra help.
- Recognize that it is healthy and smart to ask for help. It is important to remember that it is not weak to ask for help. In fact, it shows that you are strong enough to voice your own needs. You won't be able to do much good for others if you don't ask for the help you need. It's also smart to ask for help. If you don't, you might find your situation worsening instead of getting better.[4]
[Edit]Making Your Request - Choose the right time. Don't ask someone for help when they are obviously busy or distracted. For example, don't ask your professor for help with homework right as they are trying to start class. Similarly, don't ask your boss for advice as they are rushing out the door.[5]
- If you're not sure whether or not it is a good time, just ask. You can say, "I've love to ask for your help with something. Is there a time that's good for you to talk?"
- Speak up. In most cases, if you don't ask for help you won't receive it. Sometimes people might be hesitant to step up and offer help. If you need something, speak up and ask.[6]
- Maybe you're traveling alone in a new city. If you're lost, ask for directions. Stop into a nearby store, or ask the bus driver which stop you need.
- You may feel vulnerable speaking up for help, but a certain degree of vulnerability can help you find the help you need. Don't feel weak, insecure, or embarrassed by asking for help.
- Be specific. People aren't mind readers. Instead of just saying, "I need help," clearly state precisely what it is that you need. For example, instead of saying to your teacher, "I'm confused. Can you help me?", say, "I don't understand how to solve the equation for X. Can you please show me a sample problem?"[7]
- Instead of saying to your partner, "I need you to help more around the house," you may say, "Could you please take the trash out and also do a load of laundry, please?"
- Frame the request in a positive way. Sometimes it's tempting to whine a little bit. This could be a defense mechanism if you feel uncomfortable asking for help. It will help if you ask in a positive way instead.[8]
- Don't tell your co-worker, "I'm so swamped! Could you cover for me at the meeting this afternoon?" That might imply that you're busy, but you don't think your co-worker is. Instead, say, "I know we're both busy, but you seem to be handling the stress better than me. Do you have time to take my place at the meeting this afternoon so that I can get caught up?"
- Don't be self-deprecating. No one wants to hear you put yourself down. Try not to talk negatively about yourself when asking for help. Instead, act confident. You'll be more likely to receive the help you need.
- Try not to say things like, "I'm so stupid. I'll never get Algebra. Can you help me again?" Instead, say, "This is complicated, but I know I can do it. Would you mind showing me another sample problem?"
- Be persistent. Sometimes the help you receive might not turn out the way you expected. That can be frustrating. However, it is important not to give up. Keep trying to get help and make it work for you.[9]
- Maybe you just had your first mentoring session with your boss. You might feel like you didn't receive the sort of helpful advice that you were hoping for. Instead of canceling your next meeting, try again. Prepare a list of specific questions that you have for them.
- If you asked someone for help and they didn't come through, don't be afraid to ask someone else. Sometimes, you may need to reach out to a few people before getting assistance.
- Gain credibility by helping others. People will be more likely to agree to help you if you have been known to help others. Build a reputation as a helpful person. If you see a co-worker who has too much on their plate, offer your assistance. They'll likely return the favor when you find yourself frazzled.[10]
- If your friend is sick, offer to drop off some food for them. You'll likely receive the same kind treatment when you find yourself in a bind.
[Edit]Accepting Help Graciously - Acknowledge the help you received. Even though you might feel embarrassed that you needed help, don't pretend like it never happened. Directly acknowledge that you appreciate what the other person did for you. Try to make this acknowledgment shortly after receiving help.[11]
- If your professor stayed after class to go over your paper with you, say, "Thanks for staying. I appreciate your time."
- Maybe your teen did some extra chores around the house when you were working late. Say, "That was really helpful of you to get dinner started."
- Be sincere. When someone is helping you, it's okay to be a little bit vulnerable. The other person might appreciate knowing that they are genuinely helping you. For example, you could say, "Wow, thanks for watching the kids this evening. We really needed a date night!" Showing that your need was genuine is a good way to be sincere.
- Explain how they helped you. Be specific when you thank someone. Let them know exactly what they did for you. You could say to your therapist, "Thanks for this session. I think you've given me some good tools to start overcoming my anxiety."[12]
- You could tell your partner, "Thanks for making dinner tonight. It meant a lot to me to be able to just put my feet up after a long day at work."
- It's okay to ask for help. Everyone needs help at some point.
- Make sure to say thank you.
- You could even send your helper a gift or a card to express your gratitude.
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| How to Wall Mount an LCD TV Posted: 02 Jan 2020 04:00 PM PST Mounting your LCD TV to your wall may seem challenging, but with the right tools, it's a breeze. First, choose where you want to mount the TV and locate wall studs or install toggle snap anchors that you can use to support it. Then, install the mounting bracket to your wall and attach the mounting plate to the back of your TV. After that, connect the plate to the bracket on the wall, and kick back and enjoy your newly mounted TV! [Edit]Choosing a Mounting Location - Choose a wall where you want to place your TV. Pick a wall that allows the whole room to see the TV and will provide the best picture quality and won't be affected by sunlight coming in from windows. You also need to consider the position of the furniture in the room and what direction they face.[1]
- Because you need to screw holes into the wall to mount your LCD TV, be sure of your placement before you begin mounting it!
- In a living room, the center of the wall across from the main entranceway allows for a wider viewing angle.
- Position your TV so it's at eye level. Place your TV on the wall where it's most likely to be at eye level when you're viewing it. If you plan to mostly watch it while sitting on the sofa you'll want to place it lower than you would if you plan to mostly watch it while standing or at a bar. Use a ruler or tape measure to measure from the floor to the best height to put the TV at eye level and lightly mark the height with a pencil.[2]
- Placing your TV with the center at off the ground will put the screen at eye level with the average adult sitting down.
- If you plan to view the TV more often while standing, then mount it with the center of the TV from the ground.
- Mount the TV as close to eye level as possible if there's an obstruction such as an existing appliance or piece of furniture.
- Select a location that allows you to conceal wires and devices. The cables and wires of your TV and any devices you plan to connect to it can be unsightly. When you're picking a place to mount your TV, think about how difficult it will be for you to conceal them to help inform your decision.[3]
- Centering the TV on a bare wall in the center of the room may make it difficult for you to hide the wires.
- Use furniture placement to help conceal the wires.
- Move any furniture, pictures, or decor from the area. You need to have a clear area to work in when you're mounting your LCD TV. Slide over any chairs, tables, or sofas so you can access the wall easily. Take down any paintings, pictures, or decor so they're out of your way.[4]
- Gently place the items that were hanging on the wall nearby so you don't crack or break them.
- Take down anything hanging on the wall so they can't wobble, shake, or potentially fall when you're drilling into the wall.
[Edit]Installing the Mounting Bracket - Line up the mounting bracket and mark where you plan to drill. Hold up the mount against the wall where you want to place the TV and use a level to make sure it's straight. Then, take a pencil and lightly mark where you need to drill holes to mount the bracket to the wall.[5]
- Make a pencil mark on the wall through the screw holes on the mounting bracket.
- Set the bracket aside until you're ready to mount it.
- Find wall studs in the area with a stud finder. Look for studs in the area you plan to mount your LCD TV so you can install the framework into them. Take a stud finder and run the tool across the wall at the height you plan to mount the TV to locate studs you can use.[6]
- Use a pencil to lightly mark the location of a stud on the wall.
- You can purchase stud finders at hardware stores, department stores, and online.
- Use a masonry bit to drill pilot holes into the marked areas. Fit a masonry bit into the end of your power drill. Drill pilot holes into the wall where you marked the locations of the screw holes with your pencil.[7]
- The pilot holes will make it easier for you to install the screws that will support the mounting bracket.
- Make sure you drill into a wall stud so the brackets are supported.
- Insert toggle snap anchors if there aren't any studs. Toggle snap anchors are plastic devices you can insert into your wall that will help support your TV if there aren't any studs. Use a drill bit to drill holes into the wall where you need to install the snap anchors to mount the bracket. Push the snap anchors into the holes so they're secure.[8]
- Make sure all of the toggle snap anchor is fully inserted into the wall.
- Line up the mounting bracket up with the pilot holes or toggle snap anchors. After you drill all of the pilot holes or install the toggle snap anchors, replace the bit with a screwdriver bit that fits the mounting screws. Hold up the mounting bracket to the wall and line up the screw holes with the pilot holes or toggle snap anchors.[9]
- Hold the bracket so it's flush against the wall.
- Drill the mounting screws into the pilot holes or toggle snap anchors. Apply pressure against the bracket to hold it flush against the wall. Then, drill the mounting screws through the screw holes of the bracket and into the pilot holes that you drilled or the toggle snap anchors that you installed.[10]
- Drill the screws all the way into the stud or anchor so they secure the bracket.
- Wiggle the bracket to make sure it's secure and tighten the screws if there's any movement.
[Edit]Attaching the TV to the Bracket - Locate the mounting plate attachment holes on the back of your TV. On the back of your LCD TV are holes that correspond to the screw holes on the mounting plate. If there are already screws in the holes, remove them so you can attach the plate.[11]
- They may also be covered in plastic if you just bought your TV.
- Attach the mounting plate to your TV. Fit the screws through the screw holes of the mounting plate and into the corresponding holes on the TV. After you slide the screws through the slots, attach the nuts to the screws and tighten them so the mounting plate is flush against the back of the TV.[12]
- The mounting plate will support the TV on the bracket, so make sure the nuts are tight on the screws!
- Give the mounting plate a good shake to make sure there isn't any movement. If there is, tighten up the nuts on the screws.
- Line up the mounting plate with the bracket on the wall. Pick up the TV and hold it up to the mounting bracket on the wall. Align the mounting plate on the back of the TV with the slot that the plate will fit into on the bracket.[13]
- Use another person to help you hold the TV up against the wall.
- Connect the mounting plate to the bracket. Depending on the mounting plate and bracket that you have, you may need to slide the plate into a slot on the bracket. You may also need to screw the mounting plate to the bracket. Check the manufacturer's instructions to make sure you're connecting the plate to the bracket correctly.[14]
- Conceal the cables with a cord cover. A cord cover is a plastic track that mounts directly to the wall on top of the wires to hide them. Use screws to mount the base to the wall beneath your TV and lay the cords inside of them. Then, snap the plastic cover in place on top of it.[15]
- Choose a cord cover color that blends into your wall so it's less noticeable.
- You can remove the top of the cover at any time if you need to adjust or add additional wires.
- Finished.
- Have another person help you mount the LCD TV to make the job easier.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Power drill
- TV mounting bracket
- TV mounting plate
- Ruler or measuring tape
- Pencil
- Cord cover
[Edit]References |
| How to Plan a Winter Garden Posted: 02 Jan 2020 08:00 AM PST Planning a winter garden can keep your green thumb active throughout the colder months of winter. Before you begin gardening, set a plan that you can maintain during the colder months. Winter calls for hardier crops and flowers compared to those you'd plant in summer. Winter crops include turnips, carrots, mustard greens, and beets. Winter gardening also requires measures to protect the plants from the cold temperatures and hostile growing conditions of winter. Remember to start early, and keep in mind that winter gardens may not thrive in certain climates. [Edit]Preparing the Winter Garden - Start planning in mid-summer. As unpleasant as it may seem to think about cold winter temperatures and snowy days in the middle of the summer, you need to start planning the garden early. This will give you enough time to have your plants in the ground before the first frost, and will prevent you from having to scramble to assemble your garden in September.[1]
- If you live in the northern hemisphere, start planning in July. If you live in the southern hemisphere, start your winter garden plans in January.
- If you live in the American Deep South, or other regions that stay warm well into winter, you may be able to wait until August to plan your garden.
- Find out the average date of the first frost in your region. The first frost will kill most plants, but hardy winter crops will survive the first frost if they're planted early enough. Time your plants to fully mature before that date by planting them 6-8 weeks in advance.[2]
- Speak to your local garden authorities (such as the 4H extension office or master gardener club) to help you time your winter garden precisely.
- You can also look up the approximate first frost date online. Input your ZIP code at: https://www.almanac.com/gardening/frostdates/states. Note that this site is specific to the U.S.
- Rework your soil before you begin planting. Use a shovel and hoe to break up the soil and to loosen and remove the roots of summer crops. Use the blade of your spade to loosen the ground at least to a depth of .[3]
- Reworking the soil will make it easier for your winter plants to extend their roots into the ground and to absorb necessary nutrients.
- Choose a garden location with good drainage. If you're not using a garden plot that you've planted summer plants in, you'll need to plant your winter crops in a patch of well-draining soil. Select a location that is blocked from the wind and receives as much sun as possible. A south-facing slope works best for a winter garden.
- If you don't have access to an area of soil with good water drainage, you can install a raised bed.
- Avoid planting outdoor winter plants in individual containers or plastic planters. Plants' roots can easily freeze in these containers, and this effectively kills the plant.
- Add compost to your soil before planting. The majority of soil nutrients will have been used up by the crops and flora you planted during the spring and summer months. Add about of compost or other fertile natural material to your garden. The compost will replenish nutrients and help your winter plants grow.[4]
- Composted manure, alfalfa meal, or a balanced organic fertilizer are all appropriate choices.
- Adding compost initially will also keep you from having to fertilize crops during the winter growing season.[5]
[Edit]Choosing Plants - Select a mixture of leafy greens to put in your winter garden. If this is your first time planting a winter garden, you'll find that winter-crop options are surprisingly rich. To avoid the monotony of only having 1 plant type, and to enrich your winter meals, plant a variety of winter crops. These include many leafy greens like:[6]
- Friseé (mature in 90-95 days).
- Arugula (mature when tall).
- Swiss chard (mature in 60 days).
- Giant red mustard and Southern giant mustard (mature in 30 days).
- Curly leafed kale. Pick kale leaves whenever you like. The plant will put out new leaves through the fall and winter.[7]
- Plant a variety of root crops. Balance out your leafy greens with root crops. Although root crops are typically less showy on the surface, they provide substantial additions to meals made from winter-garden harvests. To keep your garden active all winter long, plant a variety of root crops that will be ready to harvest during the late, middle, and early parts of the season.[8]
- Beets and carrots (mature in 90 days).
- Rutabaga and parsnip (mature in 90 days).
- Early carrots and turnips (mature in 60 days).
- Leeks and kohlrabi (mature in 60 days).
- Chives and radishes (mature in 30 days).
- Add a variety of cold-weather flowers. Flowers will add a touch of color to your garden. Winter-tolerant species of flower will survive when the temperature dips below , although they may not withstand a heavy frost. Include flowers like:[9]
- Larkspur and nasturtium.
- Snapdragon and pansy.
- Primrose and sweet pea.
- Hyacinth and amaryllis.
[Edit]Laying out and Protecting Winter Plants - Plan a garden layout. To ensure that you have enough space in your garden, and to prevent your garden from running out of space, you can create a spatial garden plan. This will allow you to allocate enough garden space to each particular plant. You can also plan the dimensions of each garden bed to give yourself plenty of space to water and hoe the soil.[10]
- Lay out the garden using a common pattern, including multiple rows each about wide.
- You could also plan your layout around a "keyhole" or arch shape. This design features 2 main beds each about long connected by a thin strip of garden at the top.
- Plant your garden near a windbreak. While you could build a wall specifically designed to protect your garden from chilly and harsh winter winds, an easier method is to plant your garden next to the south-facing wall of your home, or of a permanent shed or garage.[11]
- Butting your garden up to an existing wall will offer protection, and the warmth will seep through the wall and help insulate your plants.
- Use a cloche to help warm your plants. A cloche is a portable, temporary greenhouse structure made of glass or clear plastic that gardeners place over winter crops to help them retain warmth. A cloche will insulate plants, lengthen your growing season, and prevent delicate winter plants from dying in cold spells.[12]
- If you'd like to use a cloche but don't have time to construct an elaborate setup, you can make a cloche out of an old soda bottle.
[Edit]Caring for Your Winter Garden - Water plants when the first inch of soil is dry. Plants growing in winter need dramatically less water than you may be used to giving plants in a summer garden. The soil does not need to be kept moist. In fact, it should dry out between one watering and the next. Water only when the top is dry.[13]
- To see if the soil is dry, poke an un-gloved finger into the soil. If your finger feels dry up to the first knuckle, go ahead and water the garden.
- Do not fertilize plants over the winter. As long as you reworked the soil and added compost to the winter garden before planting your crops and flowers, you shouldn't need to add fertilizer during the winter growing season.[14]
- Plants absorb fewer nutrients over the winter than they would during the summer growth season.
- Add a grow light if the weather is mostly overcast. Just because winter crops and flowers grow well in cold temperatures does not mean that they thrive in low-light conditions. If you notice certain crops beginning to wilt during successive cloudy days, buy a grow light and set it up to shine on the plants. The grow light mimics the effect of sunlight.[15]
- You can purchase a grow light at any plant nursery or large gardening center.
- If you have a very large winter garden, you may need to purchase multiple grow lights to provide enough coverage.
- Do not plant tomatoes, corn, beans, or squash as winter plants. They're hard to keep alive in the cold and will almost certainly die.[16]
- Weigh cloche drawbacks before implementing one for your winter garden. They must be ventilated manually to prevent too much heat from building up on the plants, and they have to be properly installed so as not to blow away.[17]
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