| How to Teach Confidence Posted: 15 Apr 2020 01:00 AM PDT While it might seem like some people are just born confident, confidence is largely an acquired skill. It's something you can model and teach other people, especially children. This is important for parents, teachers, and coaches as they guide children into adulthood. Start by building up their self-esteem, independent thought, and positive self-talk. Show them how to set and achieve goals, and how to deal with failure when it happens. With lessons like these, you can teach the people around you to become more confident. [Edit]Building Up Self-Esteem - Model confident behavior for people. If you're trying to improve someone's confidence, be a model for how they should act in a confident way. Act confident around them and in all your interpersonal interactions. If the person sees that you live the lessons you're trying to teach, then they're more likely to try them in their own life.[1]
- Show them confident interpersonal relations like eye contact, handshakes, and making small talk. This lets them practice in a safe environment.
- If you do make mistakes or fail at something, let it roll off your back. Show the people around you that failure is fine and you can persevere.
- Praise small accomplishments to raise a person's self-worth. If you're trying to build someone's confidence, start small. Each accomplishment they complete is a cause for celebration, even if it seems small. Be happy for your friends, kids, or students. Over time, your positive energy will teach them to celebrate their own accomplishments.[2]
- For example, if your daughter only hits a single during a softball game, congratulate her as much as if she hit a home run. That's still an accomplishment worth praising, and gradually her confidence will improve.
- This works for school settings. If your student is feeling down about getting a B a test, remind them that they got a C+ on the last test. This means they're improving and are on the right track.
- Remember to keep your praise genuine. Don't lie or over-exaggerate, or the person might see that you're not serious.
- Give specific compliments so people know what they did well. A specific compliment is better than a simple "You did well." Instead, tell the person exactly what they did well so they know where they're strong. This makes your compliments more genuine and boosts the person's self-esteem more by showing them their strengths.[3]
- If you're happy with student's paper, for example, don't just say the report is good. Tell them it's very thorough and well-written.
- You can still compliment someone if they failed as well. For example, if your son didn't have the best soccer game, you could say "I'm proud that you kept going and didn't give up." This turns a negative situation into something positive and teaches a lesson about always giving a good effort.
- Start with a positive statement before correcting something. At some point, you may have to point out where someone needs to improve. This is especially important if you're a parent, teacher, or coach. If you do have to make criticisms or corrections, always start by saying something positive first. This raises the person's spirits and makes it easier for them to take the critical feedback that's coming up.[4]
- If you're correcting a student's research paper that needs a lot of work, try and find something to compliment first. Start by saying, "You did a good job finding a lot of different sources to use." Then pivot to, "This paper would be much better if you improved the writing and developed a clearer argument."
- Always point out if the person has improved. If a boy you coach used to bat 0-4 in baseball games but is now batting 1-4, say, "It's great that you're improving! Let's do a little more work on your swing to make it even better."
- Offer constructive feedback and suggestions instead of just criticisms. Whenever you do have to criticize someone, always be ready to follow that up with suggested remedies. Then, instead of feeling criticized, the person will feel like you're really trying to help. Eventually, they'll grow the confidence to critique their own work and fix problems on their own.[5]
- Try to preface your criticisms by saying, "You might not want to hear these critiques, but remember I'm trying to help. We can talk about how to fix these problems later on."
- If you don't know what feedback to offer, try flipping the script and asking, "What do you think you can do to improve?" This shows that you're interested in guiding the person even if you don't have all the answers.
- Discourage negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is when a person speaks about themselves poorly and focuses on their weaknesses. If you see your friend, child, or teammate talking about themselves like this, stop them. Tell them they're making themselves feel worse rather than fixing the problem. Encourage them to look at the positive side of situations and see the glass half-full.[6]
- You might have to point out someone's strengths to help them see the bright side. If your friend is mad about striking out, remind them that they got 3 hits last game.
- Examples of negative self-talk are, "I'll never be good at this," "I'm just stupid," or "Everyone is better than I am." These are destructive attitudes that make a person feel worse without offering anything positive.
- Remember that there's a difference between negative talk and realistic talk. If, for example, your friend never studies and is being hard on himself for getting bad grades, say, "You're right, you're being lazy at school. But you can fix that. Let's work on it." This offers constructive solutions without engaging in negative talk.
[Edit]Guiding People to Accomplish Goals - Set attainable goals for them. Having ambitious goals is a good thing, but setting extremely high goals doesn't work well for building someone's confidence. This sets them up for disappointment when they don't meet that high goal. Instead, design a manageable goal that you know the person can reach with some extra effort. Little victories like these will build a person's confidence over time.[7]
- If you're a teacher, for example, it's unrealistic to try and make a student with a D average get 99% on the next test. A much more realistic goal is 80%. This is high enough to make the student work, but low enough that it's attainable with normal effort.
- After a few small successes, you can start encouraging the person to tackle more difficult goals. After a few small victories, their confidence will be high enough to handle the added pressure.
- Make sure goals are dependent on the person themselves, and not others. Don't say, "I want you to be the best hitter on the team." That depends on someone else not being better. Instead, say, "I want you to get a .300 batting average." This is based on the person's individual effort.
- Take a step back and let others make the decisions. People can't build confidence if you always make decisions for them. Encourage them to think independently and come to their own conclusions. This helps them develop and trust their own problem-solving abilities without needing help.[8]
- This can start simply. If you're helping your son with his homework, don't solve the problem for him. Ask what he thinks the answer is. Then, if he doesn't know, walk him through the process to get the answer.
- You can do this as a teacher as well. Guide the class to the correct answer rather than just telling them. If a student asks a question, rather than answering right away, ask the class if anyone can answer that.
- For younger kids, you can start teaching independence with little tasks like letting them pick their clothes for the day.
- Make suggestions rather than taking over. Even confident people need help sometimes, and you can still offer help while building their confidence. The trick is not doing all the work yourself. Observe and offer suggestions based on the person's needs. Leave it up to them whether or not they take the advice you offer. This way, they're working mostly independently and building their own confidence.[9]
- If your daughter asks for help with a science fair project, don't build the entire thing for her. Work with her and let her do most of the work. If she needs help, intervene to push her in the right direction.
- Don't get angry if someone doesn't take your suggestions. Remember to let them make the decisions for themselves.
- Let people make small mistakes without correcting them. If you never let your children, students, friends, or teammates mess up now and then, it has a negative effect on their confidence. People who aren't allowed to make mistakes have a hard time handling rejection and failure, which are normal parts of life. Don't make decisions for people all the time to save them from failure. Let them make their own decisions and if they do fail, explain to them why they messed up and what they can do better next time.[10]
- If your daughter always leaves her homework all around the house and expects you to pack it for her, stop doing that. If she forgets to bring her homework and gets in trouble, tell her that's what happens when she's disorganized.
- Of course, this doesn't apply to serious or dangerous mistakes. If you suspect someone is about to do something that's very negative for their life, then don't hesitate to let them know it's a bad idea.
- Show the person that perfection is not the goal. Striving for perfection is an unrealistic goal because people aren't perfect. Tell the person you're working with that trying to be perfect will only make them stressed and anxious if they can't reach that level. Instead, encourage them to be good enough to satisfy themselves. This builds confidence in a much more productive way than demanding perfection.[11]
- Try to avoid using the word perfect. This can give someone the wrong idea and think that you're telling them to be perfect.
- If someone is having a hard time accepting that they can't be perfect, try showing them some videos of professional musicians, sports stars, or athletes making mistakes. Tell them that these people still mess up after working for years and still aren't perfect, so they shouldn't expect to be.
- Encourage the person to step outside of their comfort zone. Staying in your comfort zone doesn't build confidence. People have to do things that they aren't used to in order to build their confidence. Encourage the person to try new hobbies, go new places, try new foods, listen to new music, and overall break their everyday routine. As the person gets more comfortable trying new things, their confidence for handling different situations will rise.[12]
- If your friend has confidence problems, try encouraging them to join you at the gym or doing another hobby they aren't used to. It may take some persistence, but trying new activities gradually gets people out of their comfort zones.
- A simple way to step out of your comfort zone is making a commitment to order something new every time you go to a restaurant. This is low-risk, makes you try new things, and potentially introduces you to some great food.
[Edit]References |
| How to Put a Two Year Old to Sleep Posted: 14 Apr 2020 05:00 PM PDT Bedtime with your child can be one of the nicest times of the day; it allows you to spend quality time with each other and instills healthy sleep habits at an early age. Occasionally 2-year-olds can resist bedtime, so you'll want to be sure to establish a solid routine and create a good sleep environment to help your child get all the sleep they need. You'll also want to continue to promote safe sleep, just like you did when they were younger, by heeding toddler safety precautions. [Edit]Establishing a Bedtime Routine - Try a bath if your child likes baths. For some kids, a warm bath is relaxing and soothing. If baths have that effect on your child, give them a bath before bedtime. Make bath time fun by providing bath toys, and be sure to always supervise your child in the tub.[1]
- If your child doesn't like baths, or baths get them overly excited, have their bath time earlier in the day and just wipe down their faces and hands before bedtime.
- Brush their teeth every night. Getting into the habit of brushing your teeth every night starts at an early age, and it's a great thing to include in the necessary bedtime routine. Brush your child's teeth for them at first, and gradually teach them how to brush their teeth on their own.[2]
- Help your child look forward to brushing their teeth by providing them with a fun child's toothbrush and a toothpaste they like.
- Make brushing fun by singing songs while your toddler brushes. Look for fun songs about brushing teeth from children's shows.[3]
- Get them changed into pajamas for bed. Whether they take a bath before bed or not, your child should get changed out of their clothes and into pajamas for bed. This will help signal to them that daytime activities are done and it's time for sleep soon.[4]
- Choose warm pajamas during the colder months or if you keep your home cool with air conditioning. Children this age often kick their blankets off themselves at night and being too cold can cause them to wake up in the night.
- Read a story to help your child enjoy reading later. Reading books to your kids, even before they can talk, helps them develop an interest in learning to read and an enjoyment of reading later in life. Let them choose the books you read at bedtime to help keep them interested in the book and help them relax during that special bonding time.[5]
- Sing a song if your child enjoys them. You may have sung lullabies to your child when they were an infant to help them fall asleep. If so, you can continue singing their favorites to them as a toddler. Or you can learn some new songs to sing to them now.[6]
- Some popular lullabies are "Rock-a-bye Baby," "You Are My Sunshine," "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," and "Hush Little Baby," but you can sing any songs that you like.
- Turn the lights off and say goodnight before leaving the room. Keep the room dark so your child gets the best quality sleep. It also helps to say some key phrases that you say every night, so your child knows it's time for bed.[7]
- You can add "It's time to sleep now. I love you" or any other phrases you like to say to your child before bed, as well as a hug and kiss.
- Do the same thing every night at the same time. Young children rely heavily on routine. Whatever it is that you do at bedtime, be sure to do the same things every night. If you have a somewhat long routine that includes bath, brushing teeth, a story, a song, etc., be sure to start early enough each night so you have time for all of it before you need to get ready for bed yourself.[8]
- Most 2-year-olds need about 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. This can often be broken down into 10 hours at night and a 2-hour afternoon nap. If your child wakes up at 6 a.m., aim for a bedtime of 8 p.m.
- Getting your toddler into a normal nighttime routine helps them develop good lifelong habits and gives them a sense of security.
[Edit]Creating a Good Sleep Environment - Choose a favorite blanket and a stuffed animal as their sleep comfort items. Young children rely on feeling secure to help them sleep. When they are little babies, this often means being held or rocked until they fall asleep. Encourage your child to choose an item that they keep in bed with them all night to help them feel secure throughout the night.[9]
- Avoid having too many blankets in your child's bed, as this can be a potential safety hazard. Too many toys nearby can keep your child too stimulated to fall or stay asleep. Choose one blanket and one soft toy for the best results.
- Make sure their room stays mostly quiet. It's fine for there to be occasional noise in the house, but you want to avoid a TV or conversations being so loud that they wake your child up. Try having someone turn on the TV or talk from outside your child's room while you're in their room.[10]
- If you can hear everything that's being said clearly, the TV or conversation is probably too loud and should be turned down or moved to a room that's farther away.
- Draw the blinds or curtains during nap time. It's important for the room where your child sleeps to be dim or dark when they are sleeping. This helps them to get deeper, more restful sleep.[11]
- If it doesn't get dark until after your child's bedtime, you should also draw the curtains when they go to bed at night.
- Use blackout curtains if it's still too bright inside their room.
- Dress your child in warm pajamas in colder months. Toddlers often kick off their covers in the middle of the night. To help make sure your child doesn't get too cold, and therefore wake up, at night, be sure to dress them in warm pajamas.[12]
- You also want to be sure not to overheat your child. Long-sleeved cotton pajamas are appropriate for winter months. If the pajamas do not have feet, consider having your child also wear socks to bed.
- If you keep your home pretty cool with air conditioning in the summer, you may want to have them wear their long-sleeved pajamas as well.
- Avoid letting your child get overtired. This may sound incorrect, since adults often automatically sleep better the more tired they get, but for young children it is harder to fall asleep if they are too tired. Don't allow your 2-year-old to stay up too late past their bedtime, and be sure that they still take a nap during the day.[13]
- Some toddlers will fight nap time, or say they don't need a nap. 2-year-olds do still need 1 nap per day to avoid becoming overtired.
[Edit]Putting a 2-Year-Old to Sleep Safely - Move your child to a toddler-safe bed when they're tall. The taller your child gets, the easier it will be for them to climb out of their crib. They may fall or get stuck if they are able to climb out of their crib, and should be moved to a toddler bed or bed with a side-rail.[14]
- Help your child feel good about sleeping in a new bed by telling them it's their "big kid" bed. Many children actually ask for a new bed and don't want to sleep in their crib anymore by the time they're physically ready to leave the crib.
- Keep their crib or bed far away from hazardous objects. Your toddler's sleeping place should not be close to a window with blinds that have strings, or electrical cords that they can reach while you're not around. Also watch for picture frames and other wall hangings within reach that your child could pull down onto themselves.[15]
- Cords and strings can easily get wrapped around a small child's neck. The safest practice is to keep these items out of your child's room completely.
- Keep their bed free from extra-large stuffed animals or pillows. While most regular-sized stuffed animals and pillows are fine in a bed with a 2-year-old, you want to keep their bed free from oversized items that could fall on top of them and cause suffocation in their sleep. Keep these types of items on the floor or on furniture away from the bed.[16]
- Remove items they could use to help them climb out of the crib. While your child is still in a crib, don't place lots of stuffed animals, toys, or pillows in it. Since these items are a safety hazard for babies under 1, many parents don't do this anyway. At 2, however, even if the items are not linked to higher SIDS risk, your child can still use the items to step on as they climb out of their crib.[17]
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Cut Shaggy Bangs Posted: 14 Apr 2020 09:00 AM PDT Not to be confused with layered bangs, shaggy bangs (otherwise known as curtain or Bardot bangs) are a relaxed and elegant hairstyle that frame your face at a downward angle. While it's always best to consult a professional hairstylist with any major hair changes, you can make your own adjustments with a set of trimming or texturizing shears. With patience and precision, you can create a fun new look for yourself! [Edit]Trimming the First Section - Comb your bangs in front of your face with a wide-toothed comb. Brush through your hair to remove any tangles or snares. Instead of brushing some hair to the side, use a wide-toothed comb to arrange your future bangs in front of your forehead and eyes.[1]
- This process helps you visualize how much hair you have to work with, and makes it easier to section off your bangs.
- Separate off a triangular portion of hair in front of your forehead. Use your comb to section off a section of hair in front of your forehead and eyes.[2] Make sure that the section of hair falls about into your hairline so your bangs are thick enough to frame your face.[3]
- If you have thinner hair, you might want to section off a portion of hair that falls around into your hairline.
- When sectioned off, this portion of hair should form an angled, triangular shape along your hairline.
- Split this portion of hair into 2 even sections, A and B. Use a comb to divide your bangs down the center of your forehead. Before you start trimming or adjusting your bangs, check both sides to ensure that your shaggy bangs will have equal amounts of hair. To prevent confusion later on, label the leftmost portion of hair as section A, and the rightmost portion as section B.[4]
- Since these bangs will be framing your face, you want them to look as even as possible.
- Brush section A to the right side of your head. Pinch the hair between your pointer and middle finger, then drag your comb through section A. Pull this portion of hair next to section B. At this point, use your pinched fingers to figure out how much hair you want to trim away.[5]
- Try to keep around of hair dangling beneath your fingers.[6]
- Pinch more hair than you plan on trimming overall.
- Pulling your bangs to the right makes it easier for you to see and trim them.
- Cut the bangs at a downward angle in small increments. Use a pair of scissors or texturizing shears to make small adjustments to the hair dangling beneath your pinched fingers. Trim your hair in short, vertical or angled motions so you can create a balanced, feathery effect along the edge of your shaggy bangs. Don't cut the entire section of pinched hair—instead, trim away a few millimeters at a time.[7]
- Try to avoid making 1 horizontal cut, as this type of trimming won't be as precise.
- Trim the edge of section A to make it look smoother. Pinch the bottom of your hair to create more exact adjustments to section A of your bangs. Drag your trimming shears in slow, angled motions to even out the edge of your bangs.[8]
- At this point, the shortest portion of your bangs will be around eye level, while the longest portion will be close to your chin.
[Edit]Adjusting the Second Section - Transfer 1 of the shortest tendrils of hair from section A to B. Pinch a small, 5 to 10 mm section of the shortest hair from the right side of section A. Move this small portion of hair over to section B, so you have a reference of how short your bangs need to be.[9]
- This process helps both of your bangs to look more exact.
- Comb section B to the left side of your head. Pinch section B between your pointer and middle finger, then pull it toward section A. Drag your comb through this portion of hair to ensure that both sections of hair are relatively even in length.[10]
- Pinch your hair and cut it at a downwards angle. Hold section B tightly between your pointer and middle fingers, leaving about of hair dangling beneath your fingers. With your shears, trim the hair at a 45-degree angle to shape and angle the hair. Try to use light, gentle motions to trim the hair so you can make adjustments later.[11]
- Sections A and B will be mirror images of one another.
- Cut your bangs vertically to make small adjustments. Continue holding section B between your pointer and middle fingers and look for any uneven sections of hair. Make the edge of your bangs even by trimming the bottom edge with short, vertical motions.[12]
- Vertical cuts help you make more precise adjustments to your bangs.
- Compare sections A and B to see if they're even in length. Stand in front of a mirror and hold both portions of your shaggy bangs next to one another. Check the short ends are equal in length, and that the long ends are even as well.[13]
- Brush and trim your bangs to make any necessary adjustments. Use your wide-toothed comb to smooth out your newly trimmed bangs. Once you've done this, use your trimming or texturizing shears to trim the bottom, angled edge of your shaggy bangs with short, vertical motions. Make small adjustments until you're happy with the way your bangs look.[14]
- You can always cut away extra hair, but you can't add extra hair back to your bangs. Keep this in mind as you cut!
- Style your bangs to the sides of your head so they blend with your hair. Comb section A to the left side of your face, and section B to the right side. You can also use a curling iron to add more lift and style to your bangs.[15]
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Wide-toothed comb
- Trimming shears
- Mirror
- Texturizing shears (optional)
- Curling iron (optional)
[Edit]References |
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