| How to Cope with Sheltering in Place Posted: 02 May 2020 01:00 AM PDT During natural disasters, infectious disease outbreaks, and other major emergencies, you may be required to shelter in place. This means you have to stay where you are—whether you're at home, at a friend's house, at school, or at work—until the danger has passed and local authorities give you permission to move around freely.[1] This sounds pretty simple, but no matter how much you love your comfy couch, you might eventually feel a little stir crazy. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid losing your mind! Even basic strategies like sticking to healthy routines and doing stress-relieving activities can help. If you start to feel too overwhelmed, don't be afraid to reach out for help. [Edit]Avoiding Loneliness and Boredom - Reach out to friends and family by phone or online. Isolation and loneliness are major problems when you're sheltering in place. You can relieve this burden on both yourself and others by taking time to get in touch. Call friends, family, and loved ones who aren't staying with you, chat with them over text, or video call them so you can see each other face-to-face.[2]
- You can also connect over social media, such as Facebook and Instagram. Share status updates to let others know you're doing okay and check in to see how they're doing.
- Make a virtual gathering space. Sheltering in place might mean cancelling parties and family gatherings, but the power of the internet means that you don't have to give up on hanging out altogether![3] Try creating a Facebook group where you can share fun and positive content with your friends and loved ones. Post funny memes, your favorite YouTube videos, or uplifting news stories. You could even take turns doing fun livestream videos to entertain each other!
- You can also have virtual get-togethers using video chat programs with group chat features, such as Skype, Google Duo, Zoom, or Discord.
- Take time to do activities you enjoy. Being stuck in lockdown can get boring fast. Think of things you can do to reduce your stress, relieve boredom, and help the time go by faster. This might include working on hobbies and creative projects, watching movies, reading, cooking, or playing games.[4]
- Do fun group activities if you're staying with other people. For example, you might play a family board game or watch a movie together.
- Avoid spending all your downtime on the internet or binge-watching shows on Netflix. Spending too much time in front of a screen can start to make you feel burnt out and cooped up.[5]
- Work on chores and tasks around the home or wherever you're staying. Taking positive action is a great way to keep busy and relieve your anxieties while you're cooped up. Use the opportunity to take care of things that need to be done around the home, or look for actions you can take to help yourself and others get through the situation you're in.[6]
- For example, you might do some deep cleaning, take an inventory of your supplies, or look up helpful information that you can share with others in the same situation.
- Look for ways to combine work with fun. For instance, you might make a shelter-in-place playlist with some of your favorite music and crank it up while everyone cleans up the kitchen.[7]
- Go outside occasionally if you're able to. Being cooped up indoors for a long time can be very stressful. To avoid getting a raging case of cabin fever, go outside for a little while every day if you can, even if you're just stepping onto your balcony or going into your back yard. Try to go out in the daytime so you can get sunlight, especially early in the day.[8]
- Getting sun can help keep your day/night schedule from getting thrown off.
- Open windows if the weather is nice.
- If you have kids or pets that go outdoors, take them outside with you so they can play and release pent-up energy. For example, you might go for a walk with your dog or take your kids into the back yard to play catch.
- Give yourself and others alone time. It's important not to feel isolated while you're sheltering in place, but it's also crucial for everyone to have a little space sometimes. Even the people you love the most can start to drive you bonkers if you're stuck at home with them for days on end! Try to schedule a little "me time" for you and anyone else in the home throughout the day.[9]
- If possible, create separate "zones" in your home or wherever you're sheltering where people can go when they need space or are getting on each other's nerves. For example, you might designate a chair in a corner of the living room as a "chill-out zone" for a family member, or a spot at the dining room table as a "work zone" for yourself.
- If you have noise-cancelling headphones, now is a great time to break them out! Even if you can't physically separate yourself from the people you're living with, you can listen to some peaceful music, an audio book, or nature sounds to help you tune out for a bit.
[Edit]Doing Fun Activities - Watch a little TV during your downtime. It's not a great idea to veg out in front of a screen the whole time you're on lockdown.[10] However, watching movies and TV can be a great way to unwind when you need a break between other activities. Take advantage of your time sheltering in place to catch up on movies and shows you haven't seen yet, or take comfort in some of your old favorites.
- Laughter is a fantastic stress reliever, so fire up a few episodes of Nailed It, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, or Saturday Night Live if you're feeling down.[11]
- If you have a dark sense of humor and enjoy making light of the situation you're in, you could even go for some comedies with apocalyptic themes, like Good Omens, The World's End, or Zombieland.
- Make some popcorn and have a movie night with any family, friends, or roommates who are with you. You could even have a virtual watch party over instant messenger if you're sheltering alone!
- Check out some new podcasts if you enjoy background listening. Podcasts are fun, often educational, and great for keeping you entertained while you're doing other, not-so-fun things (like disinfecting your home).[12] Ask your friends to recommend some of their favorite podcasts, or look at an online list of recommendations like this one from Time: https://time.com/5524332/best-podcasts-to-listen-to/.
- If you're stressed by listening to too much media coverage of the emergency that has you on lockdown, avoid listening to podcasts that deal with related themes.
- You can find podcasts on platforms like Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, Spotify, and Overcast.[13]
- Catch up on your reading. Reading is a relaxing, immersive experience that can help take your mind off of being stuck at home. Grab a book you've been meaning to read or pick up an old favorite that you've read a million times before. You can even make it a shared activity by reading out loud to anyone who wants to listen!
- If you have kids, reading with them is a wonderful way to bond, keep them engaged, and make the shelter in place experience less stressful.[14]
- Try creating a family book club. You could all read the same book and schedule time to discuss it every evening, or you could read different books and take turns talking about whatever each person is reading.
- Have a dance party or jam session. Listening to music, dancing, and making your own music are all great ways to relieve stress while you're sheltering in place. Listening to upbeat music can energize you and lift your mood, while calming music can help you relax and unwind.[15] Create some playlists for different moods or times of the day that you and your family or friends can jam to. Put on some upbeat tunes and dance when you want to get your body moving. If you're musically talented, you can sing or play an instrument to entertain yourself and whoever else may be staying with you.
- Try hosting a dance party or virtual jam session online with friends and family who are sheltering somewhere else.
- If you've got kids, there are tons of sing- and dance-along videos online. Help them put together a playlist so you don't end up listening to "Baby Shark" 24/7!
- Play some board or card games. Few things can help the time pass while you're stuck inside like a board game. Get a friendly family competition going with a little Clue, Pictionary, Scrabble, or Carcassonne.[16]
- If you're by yourself, try playing a solo game like solitaire or mahjong. You can also play social games online like Words with Friends or an MMORPG like World of Warcraft.
- Other kinds of games you can play include jigsaw puzzles, card games, and physical skill games like Jenga.
- Go on a nature walk if you can go outside. Getting outdoors, and especially spending time in nature, can help reduce stress and lift your spirits.[17] If you're allowed to walk around outdoors, try exploring a nearby walking path or going for a stroll around the block. Pay special attention to the animals, plants, and other natural features you see around you.
- If you have kids, take them out on a "bug walk." Look for as many different kinds of insects as you can find. You could even take pictures of the bugs you find or draw them in a sketchbook, then go online and try to identify them all. This is something you can easily do even if you can't leave your yard!
- Do some fun cooking projects. Having good food can make your shelter in place experience a lot more enjoyable. The act of cooking itself can also be fun, especially if you can make it a shared family activity. Break out some cookbooks or look online to find fun recipes you can make with the supplies you have.[18]
- Baking is a lot of fun and easy to do with limited supplies. See if you can make some basic cookies, muffins, or bread with stuff you have in the pantry.
- Get creative with arts and crafts. Whether you're a master artist or can't manage much more than a stick figure, making art can lower stress.[19] It's also a great way to express your feelings in a safe and healthy manner. Do some doodling, coloring, knitting, or whatever kind of project strikes your fancy.
- Doing arts and crafts is a fantastic way to bond with kids and keep them busy while they're stuck at home. Search for kid-friendly arts and crafts projects online.
- You can also play simple art games with anyone who's staying with you. For example, give everyone a piece of paper and have them start drawing. When everyone has drawn a little, have someone in the group shout "Change!" Then, everyone passes their paper to the person to their right. Add onto the drawing you just received until the next person says "Change."
- If you're sheltering alone, try a social drawing app or website like Aggie, Drawesome, or Drawize.
[Edit]Maintaining Regular Routines - Stock up on supplies if you have time to prepare ahead. It's not always possible to plan ahead for a shelter in place situation. If you have the opportunity to do so, however, getting supplies in advance can help the experience go more smoothly. Stock up on enough supplies to last you through the time you expect to be sheltering.[20]
- It's hard to know for sure how long a shelter in place situation will last, but as a rule it's a good idea to have about 2 weeks' worth of food, water, hygiene and cleaning supplies, medications, batteries, pet food, and any other supplies you regularly use.
- Don't buy up more supplies than you think you and your family will need. Doing so will only make it harder for other people to deal with the situation.
- Create a daily schedule for yourself and your family. You might be tempted to lie around in your pajamas and watch TV all day while you're stuck at home, but having a sense of stability and routine is important. If you live with family, and especially children, it can be helpful to have a set schedule that everyone can follow. Write out the schedule and post it up someplace where everyone can see it.[21]
- Work together with your family to create a schedule that works for everyone. Discuss everyone's needs, strengths, concerns, and expectations.[22]
- Your schedule might include things like having breakfast and other meals together, doing schoolwork, taking time for family activities, exercising, and doing household chores. Don't forget to schedule in a little "me time" for everyone so you don't drive each other nuts!
- Even if you're alone, writing a schedule for yourself can help you stick to a healthy routine.
- Get up at and go to bed at your usual times. When you're not able to follow your normal routines of going to work or school, it can be easy for your regular sleeping patterns to get thrown off.[23] Don't give in to the allure of sleeping until noon and staying up until the wee hours of the morning. Even though you don't have to be anywhere, make a point of setting your alarm and getting up when you normally would. Establish a regular bedtime routine and try to be in bed by your usual bedtime.[24]
- Aim to get 7-9 hours of sleep if you're an adult, and 8-10 if you're a teen.
- Getting plenty of sunlight can help you maintain a normal sleep cycle, so try to step outside for a few minutes or open your curtains first thing in the morning. Start dimming your lights 2-3 hours before you go to bed, and turn off any bright screens within an hour or so of bedtime.[25]
- Maintaining a regular sleep routine will improve your mood and energy levels and make it easier to manage the stress of being in lockdown for a long time.
- Set a regular time to check the news so you can stay informed. When you're sheltering in place, it's crucial to keep yourself informed of the situation so that you can be aware of any major changes or actions you need to take to stay safe. However, looking at the news too much can be stressful and scary. Give yourself a specific amount of time each day to look at updates from a reliable source.[26]
- For example, if you're sheltering in place due to the coronavirus outbreak, you might stick to looking at updates from the CDC, the World Health Organization, or your local Public Health Department.
- If you watch or read the news, you might limit yourself to just 15 minutes a day or only 2-3 stories at a time. You know best how much you can handle before it starts to really stress you out!
- Be conscious of how others in the home are affected, too. For example, avoid exposing children to lots of frightening media coverage. Summarize what's going on for them in a straightforward way, but don't leave the TV on 24/7 so that they hear all the scariest stories about what's happening.[27]
- Take breaks to eat, exercise, and care for your hygiene. Self-care during a shelter in place situation is vital for both your physical and emotional health. When you don't have to go anywhere, it's easy to forget to do simple things like getting dressed, brushing your hair, and even eating! Make a conscious effort to do all the things you would normally do throughout a regular day, such as:[28]
- Eating nutritious meals and snacks at regular times
- Showering, brushing your hair, and cleaning your teeth
- Getting dressed for the day and putting on your pajamas at night
- Getting up and moving around
- Talk to your boss or teachers about doing work from home. While the idea of having time off from school or work might seem fun under other circumstances, it can be a major source of stress when you don't have a choice in the matter. Keep in touch with your employer, teachers, or school administrators about what you can do to keep up with your regular work or study routines while you're sheltering in place.[29]
- For example, you may be able to do work online or by video conference.
- If you have a job that can't accommodate working from home, talk to your boss about what kinds of leave options are available to you.
- If you have kids, their teachers will probably develop e-learning resources and online lessons for them. Reach out to the school if you have any questions about how to help your kids learn at home.
- Maintain any spiritual or religious practices you normally do. If the shelter in place situation is disruptive to your regular spiritual or religious practices, look for ways to keep them up at home. This can be a source of comfort during a scary and stressful situation. You may not be able to go to your church, temple, mosque, or other place of worship, but you can still find ways to practice your faith wherever you happen to be![30]
- For example, even if you can't go to services at your place of worship, you can still pray, study religious texts, meditate, or make offerings as you normally would.
- Some places of worship may offer videos or live streams of their regular religious services.
- Reach out to your doctor about remote checkups if you have health issues. If you have any conditions that require regular checkups or medical treatment, call your doctor to discuss what to do. They may be able to continue your checkups over the phone or by video chat. They can also advise you on what to do if it's necessary to seek medical attention in person.[31]
- If you're sheltering in place due to an infectious disease outbreak, such as the COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic, call your doctor right away if you start to experience symptoms. Don't show up at your doctor's office or the emergency room without calling ahead first, since they may need to take special precautions to protect other patients, themselves, and you.[32]
- If you take medications, call your pharmacy to ask about home delivery options.
[Edit]Coping with Negative Emotions - Remind yourself that it's normal to feel complicated emotions. Being stuck in lockdown is stressful. While everyone reacts to these kinds of situations differently, it's not unusual to feel a wide variety of different emotions. Try not to judge your own reactions or those of others, and remember that it's completely natural to feel things such as:[33]
- Anxiety or fear for yourself or others
- Confusion or uncertainty
- Frustration
- Boredom
- Irritability or anger
- Loneliness
- Sadness
- Guilt, particularly if sheltering in place makes it hard for you to take care of your regular responsibilities or obligations
- Take frequent breaks between stressful activities. If you start to feel overwhelmed while you're cleaning, gathering supplies, doing remote work, or caring for family members, stop and take a brief break. Pace yourself so that you don't get too stressed and start to burn out.[34]
- Get up and walk around for a bit, have a healthy snack, or do a few minutes of meditating or deep breathing.
- After completing a difficult task, like sanitizing your bathroom, take a break and do something fun. For example, you might read for half an hour or watch a little TV.
- Meditate or do other stress-relieving activities. If you feel stressed or anxious, look for things you can do to relax. This will help you feel calmer and more focused. A few options include:[35]
- Meditating
- Doing deep breathing exercises
- Listening to peaceful music
- Stretching or doing yoga
- Taking a warm shower or bath
- Drawing, coloring, or playing music
- Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity each day. Getting exercise can boost your mood, raise your energy levels, and lower your risk of developing health problems.[36] Try to work out for at least 30 minutes a day, even if you're just doing jumping jacks in your living room or running laps around your back yard.[37]
- You can also get exercise by doing household chores, like vacuuming your home or mowing the lawn.
- If you're staying with your family or other people, you can make physical activity more fun by doing it together. For example, you could have a dance party with your kids or follow a workout routine on YouTube with your roommate.
- Write about your feelings in a journal. Writing down how you feel can help your emotions feel more manageable. Jot down your thoughts and fears in a diary, notebook, or computer document. You can also write down things that you feel grateful for to help you feel more positive about the situation.[38]
- If you want, you can even write a blog chronicling your feelings and experiences as you shelter in place. This is a good way to create a sense of connection with others while also working through your feelings in a therapeutic way.
- Talk to your friends or loved ones about how you're feeling. If you're feeling scared, upset, or lonely, reach out to someone close to you. Let them know how you're feeling and commiserate with them about their own feelings. Sometimes just talking about how you feel can improve your mood.[39]
- For example, you might call up a friend or family member and say, "Hey, I'm feeling kind of down and just wanted to chat. Is now a good time?"
- Reach out to a counselor or crisis line if you feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, the stress of coping with a major disaster can be too much to handle on your own, and being stuck in isolation doesn't help. If you can't shake your feelings of anxiety or sadness, or if you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, call your doctor, a counselor, a crisis hotline, or your local emergency number right away.[40]
- If you live in the U.S., you can get help by calling the SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990.
- You can also text HOME to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 if you live in the U.S., 686868 if you live in Canada, or 85258 if you live in the U.K.
[Edit]Related wikiHows
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Use Fresh Turmeric Root Posted: 01 May 2020 05:00 PM PDT If you've had curry or enjoyed a recipe with curry powder, you've probably tasted turmeric before. While well-known in its powder form, turmeric actually comes from a large, brown root, similar to ginger. Many believe that turmeric can help reduce inflammation, as well help with with knee pain and skin irritation.[1] This ingredient may seem a bit intimidating if you don't cook a lot, but it's very easy to sprinkle over dishes and mix into different drinks. Try experimenting with fresh turmeric root in your favorite entrees and drinks and see how you like it! [Edit]Ingredients [Edit]Turmeric Salad Dressing - of tahini
- of lemon juice
- of olive oil
- ½ tsp (1.5 g) of turmeric
- ¼ tsp (0.5 g) of cayenne pepper
- Salt
- Pepper
[Edit]Anti-Inflammatory Turmeric Drink - of coconut water
- ½ cup (25 g) of fresh ginger slices
- of lemon juice
- 6 mint sprigs
- 1 tbsp (9 g) of turmeric
- ¼ tsp (2 g) of cardamom
- ⅛ tsp (0.6 g) of sea salt
- ⅛ tsp (0.3 g) of black or cayenne pepper
- of raw honey (optional)
- of full-fat coconut milk (optional)
[Edit]Peeling and Grating Turmeric Root - Rinse off your turmeric with clean water. Hold your turmeric root over the sink and brush away any obvious dirt or grime. Shake away any extra water so it isn't dripping wet.[2]
- Use a vegetable peeler to remove the outer skin. Hold your fresh turmeric over the sink and work along the edges with a peeler. Try to get rid of all the skin along the outside. Since the root is a little bumpy and uneven, it may be a little tricky to remove all the skin—just do your best![3]
- Peeling turmeric is a very similar process to peeling ginger.
- Rub the peeled root against a fine, sharp grater. Since turmeric is used as a spice, you don't need to include a lot of it in your dishes and drinks. With this in mind, use a fine grater to collect your fresh root. Rub the peeled end of the turmeric over the grater to sprinkle the spice over your favorite dishes.[4]
- Refrigerate unused root in an unsealed plastic bag for up to 2-3 weeks. Place the turmeric root in a paper towel, then move it into a plastic bag. Transfer the unsealed bag to the crisper drawer in your refrigerator, and try to use it within 2-3 weeks.[5]
[Edit]Flavoring Food with Fresh Turmeric - Grate fresh turmeric over soups and other savory dishes. Heat up a bowl of your favorite soup for lunch or dinner. Before diving in, rinse and peel a section of turmeric root to remove the outer skin, then use a grater to garnish your soup with the spice. You can also sprinkle fresh turmeric over other dishes, like egg or tuna salad.[6]
- Fresh turmeric root is a great complement to vegetarian dishes, as well! Try sprinkling some over your favorite tofu dish and see how you like it.
- Turmeric is especially yummy on vegetable soups.
- Add a sprinkle of freshly grated turmeric to your scrambled eggs. Whip up a batch of your favorite scrambled eggs. In addition to pepper, sprinkle some fresh turmeric in the eggs while they cook. By the time your eggs are scrambled, they'll have a delicious hint of turmeric.[7]
- Pepper and turmeric go very well together.
- Mix fresh turmeric with pepper and add it to your butter. Grate at least 1 tsp (3 g) of fresh turmeric into a bowl of softened butter, along with a small spoonful of pepper. Stir all the ingredients together to make a delicious, aromatic butter. Feel free to use this whenever you sauté or roast vegetables.[8]
- This can be a great topping for grilled fish, as well.
- This is also known as "compound butter."
- Sprinkle a spoonful of fresh turmeric over your mashed potatoes. Prepare your mashed potatoes as you normally, then heap your desired serving onto your plate. Before digging in, take a small section of fresh, peeled turmeric root and grate it over the top of your mashed potatoes.[9]
- Start with a small amount to see how you like the flavor.
- Enhance your roasted veggies with a little fresh turmeric. Grate a small amount of fresh, peeled turmeric root on top of any cooked vegetables. Start with a small amount, then add more if you enjoy the flavor a lot![10]
- Turmeric goes well with any kind of roasted vegetable.
- Whip up a tasty salad dressing with fresh turmeric and olive oil. Mix of tahini, of lemon juice, of olive oil, ½ tsp (1.5 g) of turmeric, and ¼ tsp (0.5 g) of cayenne pepper in a bowl. Add in a pinch of salt and regular pepper, then stir all the ingredients together. Pour your new dressing into a vinaigrette container and store it in the refrigerator until you're ready to use it.[11]
- Try to use the dressing within 4 days, or else it may go bad.
- Top your salad with freshly grated turmeric. Prepare your favorite garden or side salad as you normally would. If you'd like your greens to have an extra kick, grate a sprinkling of fresh turmeric over the top of your salad. Feel free to add more if you enjoy the flavor![12]
- Fresh turmeric also tastes great on other veggie side dishes, like mashed butternut squash.[13]
[Edit]Creating Tasty Drinks - Brew turmeric with ginger to make an aromatic tea. Pour some boiling water into a mug, then grate in a small spoonful of fresh ginger and turmeric root. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes to let the tea steep before enjoying the beverage.[14]
- If you prefer sweeter tea, try adding in some sugar or honey.
- Sprinkle some turmeric into your favorite smoothie. Prepare your favorite smoothie as you usually would by adding the ingredients into a blender. Before you mix everything together, sprinkle a spoonful or so of fresh turmeric root on top. Place the lid on the blender, then pulse all the ingredients into a smoothie.[15]
- Start with small amounts of turmeric at first. You don't want to overpower your smoothie!
- Make some aromatic "golden milk" with turmeric and cardamom. Pour of soy milk into a saucepan, then add in a handful of peppercorns, cardamom pods, and a cinnamon stick. Grate a pinch of fresh ginger and turmeric root over the milk and spices. Let the ingredients steep for 3-5 minutes, then strain the milk into a glass.[16]
- As a finishing touch, stir a squeeze of honey into your milk.
- Whip up an anti-inflammatory drink with turmeric and coconut water. Mix of coconut water, ½ cup (25 g) of ginger slices, 6 mint sprigs, of lemon juice, 1 tbsp (9 g) of turmeric, ¼ tsp (2 g) of cardamom, ⅛ tsp (0.6 g) of sea salt, and ⅛ tsp (0.3 g) of cayenne or black pepper into a blender. Pulse the ingredients together until they're a smooth, even consistency, then pour the drink into a cup. Transfer the drink to a pitcher or portable cup and pour a splash of coconut water on top of the drink. Place the drink in the refrigerator overnight so it can chill, then enjoy it the next day![17]
- You can also add of raw honey and of coconut milk to make your drink sweeter and creamier.
[Edit]Warnings - Don't each too much turmeric root at one time. While it is good for you, it can cause some GI issues if you eat a lot at once.[18]
[Edit]Things You'll Need [Edit]Peeling the Turmeric - Vegetable peeler
- Vegetable grater
- Paper towel
- Plastic bag
[Edit]Flavoring Food with Fresh Turmeric - Vegetable peeler
- Grater
- Saucepan
- Strainer
[Edit]Creating Tasty Drinks - Kettle
- Water
- Mug
- Blender
- Glass
[Edit]References |
| How to Flirt Through Text Messages Posted: 01 May 2020 09:00 AM PDT In today's technologically advanced society, you may spend more time texting your crush than actually hanging out with him or her. This means that you should not only be able to flirt with your crush in person, but through your text messages. If you want to flirt through texting, you have to know how to be playful, witty, and charming in just a sentence or two. Read on from step one below. [Edit]Have a Flirty Opening - Be creative. It's hard to be original when you're texting, so the person you want to flirt with will be even more impressed when you're able to pull it off. When you pull out your phone to text that special person in your life, you should try to think of something no one else but you could say. This will pique the interest of your crush and will make him more likely to respond to you right away.
- Make your crush laugh. Start off with a short funny statement about something you both saw recently, or referencing a previous conversation.[1]
- Make a clever observation. Your crush will certainly respond to that. Flirting with your wit is a great tactic.
- Be original. Write something that no one can say but you.
- Ask an open question. An open question is one the other person cannot answer by just saying yes or no. Asking an open question is a great way to impress and flirt with your crush because it shows that you're not texting just because you feel like it, but because you want to keep a conversation going and care what your crush thinks. Here are some great things to keep in mind when you ask questions:[2]
- Keep it simple. Just ask about something that happened during that person's day or week, like how her friend's birthday party went or if her mini-vacation was as fun as she had hoped.
- Ask lots of open-ended questions. Don't just ask a question that can be answered with a simple "yes" or a "pretty good." Give your crush room to elaborate and to ask you something back.
- Don't be too open-ended. Don't ask a deep philosophical question that your crush doesn't know how to answer. They may be puzzled by your message and could just give up.
- Don't be a boring texter. You're less likely to get a response if you say something like, "What's up?" or "How are you?" Be original, even when you ask questions.
- Be thoughtful. If you know your crush had an important event the day before, a text asking how it went shows that you pay attention.
- Watch your spelling and grammar. This may seem silly and irrelevant, but if you were flirting with your crush in person, then you would make sure your outfit was neatly put together and that your hair was in place. Therefore, if you're sending a text message, you should make sure you're using proper punctuation and that your sentences are complete.[3]
- If you send sloppy or inarticulate texts, it will look like you don't care enough about the person you're texting to spend enough time scanning your texts.
- Your writing doesn't have to be perfect. Just skim each of your texts once before you send it.
- Don't come on too strong. Subtlety is key when you're opening up a text-based conversation, so you should try not to go overboard, or your crush will be able to see that you're trying too hard from a mile away. Just relax and send a text when the time feels right, and don't overthink it. You shouldn't spend more than a minute deciding what's the best text to send your special someone.
- Make sure you're not always the person who sends the first message. If you are, then your crush may not be so excited to hear from you. Play it cool and wait for your crush to chat with you first sometimes.
- Don't try too hard to be funny. If your target can tell you spent hours crafting the perfect opening, it's not worth it.
- Remember that flirting over text is not so different from flirting in real life. You should still relax and take it easy if you want to be a successful flirt.
[Edit]Keep Your Crush's Attention - Tease your crush. Teasing over text is a great way to flirt with your crush. You can be a little bit playful and make fun of your crush, and let your crush make fun of you back. This shows that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you're invested in the person you're texting.[4]
- Keep it light. Tease your crush for watching a silly movie or spending too much time with his guitar.
- Make sure your crush gets that you're joking. It should be clear that you're not trying to be offensive and that you just want to have some fun.
- If you have a silly nickname for your crush, use it when you're texting.
- Send a wink face emoticon to show that you're just teasing.
- Show your crush you care about him. If you want to flirt through texting, then you should find a way to make it clear that you care about the person you're talking to, whether it's by asking a question about his life or just asking how he's feeling.
- If your crush is feeling sick, check in to see if he's feeling better.
- Use your crush's name occasionally. This will surprise and excite the person you're texting.
- Ask your crush's opinion on a new movie or restaurant. This may even turn into plans to check out the new event together.
- Compliment your crush. Find a subtle way to let her know she looked cute the other night, or that you liked her new haircut.
- Be a little naughty. You can find subtle ways to arouse your crush through texting. You don't have to say, "What are you wearing?" to show that you're thinking about your crush in a less-than-PG-rated manner. Here are some tricks to try:
- Casually mention that you just got out of the shower.
- Be open. Just say, "I can't stop thinking about that dress you wore the other night."
- Say, "I have a bottle of wine in my fridge, and it looks so lonely without you." Inviting your crush to share a bottle of wine is an invitation for more.
- Don't be too eager. Remember that you're supposed to play it cool when you're texting, so you shouldn't be the person who sends a hundred questions in a row or asks a question with a million question marks. If you're too excited about texting the person on the other end of the conversation, it will be a major turn off.
- Make sure that you and your crush roughly text each other the same amount of times. If you send her five texts for every one of her responses, you have a problem.
- Emoticons are great for occasional flirtation, but don't overuse them. The same goes for exclamation marks and questions.[5]
- Don't respond the moment you get a text. Play it cool and wait a few minutes, or even a few hours, to respond unless the text is time-sensitive. If your crush takes a day to get back to you, don't fire back a text right away or you'll look desperate.
- Don't use texting to build a meaningful connection. No relationship is made or broken through a series of text messages. When you text your special someone, remember that texting is a great way to flirt, to make plans, and to take the relationship into the physical world, but not a great way to build rapport or to really get to know someone.
- Remember to keep it light. Flirting is all about having fun and being playful, not about getting into a deep discussion.
- If you really like the person, try to spend more time talking to him or her than you do sending text messages to that person.
[Edit]Finish Strong - Know when it's time to stop texting. You don't want to be that person who keeps up a textual exchange hours after there's nothing left to say. When you're talking to a new love interest at a bar, you should talk just long enough to hook the person and then say you have to leave so you don't drag out what started off as a good conversation. Well, the same goes for texting.
- If you're doing most of the talking in a textual exchange, it's time to stop texting.
- If you keep sending long messages and getting nothing back but one-word answers, then it's time to stop texting.
- If you can just feel that both of you are struggling to find something to say, then it's time to end the conversation.
- If you have the sense that you're doing most of the talking every time and that the person you're texting doesn't seem too eager to get back to you, it may be time to end the conversation -- for good.
- Leave on a good note. Whether you're just stopping the conversation because you're busy or because you're going to meet up, you should leave the person you like with something to think about. Don't just say, "Bye!" or that person won't be thinking about you after you stop texting.
- If you're meeting up, don't be afraid to say that you can't wait to see that person.
- If you have to go, tell the person where you're going and what you're doing. This will make you look like you have a great life outside of texting and will intrigue the person on the other end of the conversation.
- Leave an opening to pick up the conversation at another time. Say that you're looking forward to chatting about whatever is on your minds later.
- Use your texts as a way to ask your crush out. If your texting sessions have been going really well and your flirting is getting fierce, then you should take your relationship to the next level and use texting as an opportunity to ask the person out.
- Keep it light. If you're in the middle of a conversation, just say, "How would you like to pick this up over dinner or drinks?"
- If you've really been texting the person a lot, you can say, "I really like texting you, but I think I would like talking to you even more. How about we continue this in person?"
- You can also be more casual. Instead of asking for a real date, you can invite the person out to join you and your friends for drinks or at a party.
[Edit]Flirty Text Message Help
[Edit]Test Your Knowledge - Make sure you send it to the right person
- Don't say anything you wouldn't say in person. Being too open while texting makes things awkward in person.
- Don't re-send messages. Getting the same message 8 times gets really annoying.
- Make sure you know what you are doing. Be careful what you send. Know your limits. Trust the person you are texting.
- Say quirky things that make him laugh and make the conversation more interesting.
- Be constant; don't flirt just over the phone and not in person, or he'll think you're joking.
- Check your spelling and grammar. You don't want him or her to misunderstand what you wrote and take it the wrong way, or not even understand what you meant at all.
- From someone you don't know very well, never ask a question about them you wouldn't want to be asked about yourself.
- Remember, texting won't mean as much to the person who you are flirting with as it would in real life.
- Don't be afraid to ask questions. You are learning more, and that's a good thing.
- Don't try to get someone to like you just over text messages.
- Don't just ramble on. Being boring is anti-flirting.
- Don't let the texts be as flirty if you are already dating someone, you never know who could see it.
- Use the 1-6 min reply rule. Don't text back immediately.
- Feel free to be a bit naughty at times, as long as you don't come across as being desperate.
- Don't send long texts, as it may show you are being desperate to talk to the person.
- Don't use too many smiley faces.
- Don't always be the one to text first.
- Don't be afraid to tell the other person how you feel, it may be awkward, but you won't be seeing their face, so that will make things easier on your part.
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