| How to Politely Ask a Question Posted: 25 Sep 2021 01:00 AM PDT When you ask someone a question in English, it could come across as a little rude if you say something too directly. That's why we tend to use indirect questions when we make requests. Luckily, there are a lot of different phrases that help you sound more polite. Keep reading for a ton of helpful tips and examples for how to word your questions so you're always using good manners no matter what you ask! [Edit]Phrasing a Polite Question - Start with "excuse me" or "pardon me" to get a person's attention. If you're approaching a stranger or if you're not already talking to the person, try out one of these phrases to start off your conversation. To sound even more curious, try leading with "Sorry to bother you, but…" and then ask your question. Some things you could try asking include:[1]
- "Excuse me, where is the nearest bus stop?"
- "Excuse me, what time is it?"
- "Pardon me, is there a bathroom over here?"
- "Sorry to bother you, but have you seen James at all?"
- Begin a statement with "may" if you need to ask for permission. Starting a question with "may" is a great option for making your request sound more formal. Rather than saying directly what you need or want to do, ask the other person if it's okay for you to do it. Some questions you could try are:[2]
- "May I use your phone for a minute?"
- "May I come in?"
- "May I make a quick suggestion?"
- "May I have some food?"
- Use "can," "could," or "would" when you make a request. Leading right away with a question word, like "who," "what," "why," "where," or "how," might make your question sound rude or demanding. Ease into the question with one of these words instead so it sounds a little more polite when you're asking for information.[3]
- For example, instead of asking "Where is the bathroom?" you could say, "Would you mind telling me where the bathroom is?"
- As another example, avoid asking something like, "When does the store close?" You could ask, "Could you tell me how late you're open?"
- Try adding the word "possibly" into your question to sound even more courteous. For example, you might ask, "Can you possibly drive me to the airport tonight?"[4]
- You could instead add the phrase to the end of your sentence if the statement initially sounds negative. For example, you could ask, "You couldn't help me out, could you?" or "You wouldn't mind picking me up later, would you?"[5]
- Say "did you want" or "did you need" to find out what someone prefers. If you're trying to figure out what someone wants to do, try adding one of these at the start of your question. Use "did" instead of "do" when you ask your question so it sounds more indirect and polite. Some questions that use this structure include:[6]
- "Did you want some more water?"
- "Did you want to go see that movie later?"
- "Did you need some help with that?"
- "Did you have a nice weekend?"
- Use "know" or "remember" if you're not sure whether the person can answer. Sometimes, you may ask a question that the other person doesn't know the answer to. To take some of the pressure off of them to be correct, start your question with a phrase like, "do you remember," or "would you know" so they can easily say "yes" or "no" in response. Some examples of using these phrases include:[7]
- "Do you know when the meeting starts?"
- "Would you happen to know when she's supposed to arrive?"
- "Do you remember what he said last night?"
- "Can you remember where I left my keys?"
- Add the phrases "if" or "whether" when you're posing a yes/no question. Using "if" or "whether" works best if the question doesn't have the words "who," "what," "where," "when," or "why." Begin your question with other phrases, like "do you" or "could you," before adding "if" or "whether." Some examples include:[8]
- "Do you know if the train has already left?"
- "Do you remember if we fed the dog?"
- "Could you tell me whether or not she arrived on time?"
- Say "please" once in your question. Saying "please" shows that you have good manners, so don't forget to say it when you're requesting something. You can either add please to the start or the end of your question to make it sound more courteous. Some things you might say are:[9]
- "Could you please tell me where to throw this away?"
- "Can you please explain that to me again?"
- "May I have another cookie, please?"
- "Excuse me, but would you please tell me what time it is?"
[Edit]Maintaining Good Etiquette - Speak in a friendly, higher tone. If you speak with a low voice or don't change your inflection, you may come off as blunt or unfriendly. Raise the pitch of your voice slightly as you ask your question so the other person is more likely to respond to you.[10]
- Smile while you're talking to help you naturally have a cheery tone.
- Let the other person speak without interruption. As the person gives you their answer, give them your full attention and avoid talking over them. Look them in the eyes and avoid getting distracted or checking your phone. Wait until the person is completely finished answering before responding to them so you get their full answer.[11]
- Avoid thinking of what to say next while the person is talking, or else you might miss important information they're giving you.
- Lean in and nod to show that you're listening. Turn your body toward the person you're talking to and slightly lean closer to show that you're interested in what they have to say. As they're talking, nod or say "mmhmm" to let them know that you're following the conversation. Keep your arms uncrossed to maintain open body language with them.[12]
- You can even repeat things the person has said back to them to prove that you're listening.
- Follow-up with more questions if you need more clarification. If you're asking about a confusing topic or if you want to continue the conversation, ask the person something else. Use their answer as a jumping-off point for your next question so you can get more information.[13]
- For example, let's say you asked, "Could you please tell me where the nearest bus stop is?" and the person responds, "On Main Street." You could follow up by asking, "Would you mind telling me which direction that is?"
- As another example, if you asked "Did you need some help with that?" and they say yes, you might ask, "What can I do to be the most helpful right now?"
- If you're asking the person to repeat themselves because you missed what they said, apologize. For example, you might say, "I'm sorry, could you please repeat that for me?"[14]
- Steer clear of judging the other person on their answer. If you're asking for an opinion or something about a person, keep an open mind and view it from their perspective. Even if you disagree with what the person has to say, think about it for a minute so you can understand where they're coming from. Think about what you want to say before responding so you don't say anything hurtful.[15]
- Try learning more about the topic on your own time so you can get a better understanding of it as well.
- Avoid personal or controversial questions at first. If you're getting to know someone better, stay away from questions about things like money, politics, religion, and their personal life. A lot of people don't feel comfortable talking about these subjects with strangers, so it could be rude to ask about them. Instead, stick to simple questions or small-talk topics, like sports, pop culture, or even the weather until you know the person better.[16]
- Reflect on if you need to know the answer or not. If it's something that isn't very important and could be controversial, just avoid asking it.[17]
[Edit]Warnings - Try your best to avoid direct questions, such as "Why did you do that?" or "What are you doing?" since they could come across as rude.[18]
[Edit]References |
| How to Make Friends in a New Country Posted: 24 Sep 2021 05:00 PM PDT Moving to a new country—or even spending a year abroad—is a thrilling experience, but it has its challenges too. Once you're past the whirlwind phase of seeing new sights and exploring your new life, it's time to put down some solid roots. To keep your calendar filled with social engagements, make plans that get you out of the house and doing something you enjoy. Even the smallest, simplest connection can plant the seed for a lasting friendship. [Edit]Network through social media and personal connections. - Ask friends back home if they know anyone in your area. Most people don't jump at the chance to show a stranger around town, but that changes as soon as you make a personal connection—even a tiny one. Ask around for anyone who might know someone in your new home, and make a public post on social media too. Until you do, you'll never know if your old classmate's brother's best friend lives around the corner.[1]
[Edit]Spend time with fellow foreigners. - Search online for expat events and immigrant communities. Look for expat groups on Facebook or Meetup, or search online for local cultural centers for immigrant communities. Even if they're not from the same culture as you, other foreigners are more likely to be looking for friends and ready to bond over your experiences in the new country. It's not surprising that most people living abroad have at least some immigrant friends.[2]
- Leaving your comfort zone and getting to know locals is a great goal, but it's okay to make that a long-term plan. You still deserve friends while you're getting settled.
[Edit]Invite coworkers, fellow students, or neighbors to events. - Propose a group lunch or ask about weekend events. If you're studying abroad or if you work with other people, you have a big advantage: people who can't say no to polite conversation! But seriously, work (or school) is the most common way to find new friends after a move. All it takes is the courage to step up and make the initial offer. Similarly, you can connect with your neighbors by hosting a get-together or knocking on their door with baked treats.[3]
- Start with something small. Try "I'm thinking of trying the restaurant around the corner for lunch, anyone want to join me?"
- Local coworkers can help you out even if you don't hit it off as friends. Don't be afraid to ask "What do people do for fun in the summer around here?" or "Do you know if there's a volleyball court nearby? I haven't found one since I moved here."
[Edit]Meet people through language exchanges. - You can attend group events or connect one-on-one via an app. Extroverts might enjoy the language exchange events posted on sites like Meetup (which are often relaxed hangouts in a café). If you don't like groups, use apps like Tandem, Italki, or Conversation Exchange to meet locals who want to trade an hour of speaking your native tongue in exchange for an hour speaking theirs.[4]
- Arrange to meet in person instead of just using text chat. It's much better for both language learning and forming a real connection with the other person.
[Edit]Sign up for a language class. - Look for small classes that meet regularly. Most language classes aimed at immigrants meet often and involve lots of conversation practice. It's almost like putting "make small talk with potential friends" on your calendar. Ask around for freelance teachers on local social network groups to find affordable, small classes. If you're a resident in your new country, check with local immigration or residency offices. Many countries will pay for part or all of your language classes, at least at the beginner level.[5]
[Edit]Show up to events you'd never go to back home. - Every trip out of the house is a chance to meet the right person. Will your future best friend sit next to you at the combination pie-eating & DJ contest? Who knows, but they won't appear on your living room couch. Between Facebook groups for your city, Meetup, and fliers at your local bar, it's usually not hard to find something to do. The key is to motivate yourself to keep getting out there and trying new things.[6]
- Search online or ask locals to find out about music festivals, fairs, and other cultural events in advance. These are great places to meet outgoing strangers, and you might even find people looking for a carpool buddy.
[Edit]Download friendship apps. - This introvert-friendly option is more and more popular. Bumble BFF (a friend search mode inside the Bumble app) has exploded in the last couple years.[7] You can also check out other general-purpose friend apps like Patook and Friender, or search your phone store for more specific apps like Hey! Vina for women or BarkHappy for dog owners.
[Edit]Talk to strangers. - Practice your small talk and use it often. When you're the stranger in town, it's easy to feel awkward and out-of-place. The more you push past that, the more you'll find that almost everyone enjoys meeting new people. As mundane as it sounds, chatting about where you came from and what the weather is like is the first step to getting to know someone.[8]
- If small talk doesn't come natural to you, prep in advance by finding something to say about local news or sports results. It doesn't have to be clever or even interesting—it's just a simple conversational opening. When in doubt, tell a local something you love about their country ("The food here is so good!").
[Edit]Join a hobby club or sports team. - Pursue an old interest or explore a popular local pastime. Committing to a weekly hobby meetup is a great way to force yourself to socialize. There are always sports clubs looking for teammates, and you don't have to master the local language to find comrades on the sports field. If that doesn't appeal to you, there are a thousand other options: knitting clubs, book clubs, amateur theater, hiking groups, and maybe even a local activity you'd never be able to try back home. Joining a gym is another way to meet people with similar interests, as long as you make an effort to start conversations or sign up for exercise classes.[9]
- If you want to try out a craft but aren't sure where to start, look for nearby "makerspaces" (often connected to libraries), which provide shared equipment for anything from kid's craft projects to serious scientific collaboration.[10]
[Edit]Meet other people doing leisure activities. - Socialize at beaches, zoos, parks, and museums. Work up your courage and ask if you can join that volleyball game, introduce your kid to theirs, or just say "I'm from ___ and looking to meet people here, do you mind if I sit here?" If that's a little too extroverted for you, sign up for a group excursion like a museum tour, so there's a shared activity for you to talk about. You might not consider this approach at home, but this is a pretty common way to start friendships abroad.[11]
[Edit]Volunteer for a good cause. - Volunteering is an excellent way to feel connected to people. Feeling lonely isn't just about not having weekend plans; it can make us feel like we don't matter to the people around us. Volunteering lets you proves that feeling wrong by contributing to a community and getting immediate positive feedback. Join an organization that helps homeless people, visits retirement homes, or helps out animal shelters. You'll feel good about yourself, meet like-minded people, and find an immediate sense of connection.[12]
[Edit]References |
| How to Dry Brush Paint Posted: 24 Sep 2021 09:00 AM PDT Dry brush painting is a painting technique typically used to give wooden furniture a worn, textured look. Finished pieces that have been dry brush painted often look like they took hours to be completed. In reality, dry brush painting is a relatively simple and straightforward technique that almost anyone can learn how to do. [Edit]Sanding and Priming Your Furniture - Clean and dust your furniture before painting. You'll want to make sure there's no dust or debris on your furniture that might prevent your paint from adhering to it. Use a feather or lamb's wool duster to remove any dust and debris from the surface of your furniture. You can also dampen a clean, soft cloth with water and use that to clean your piece.[1]
- If you opt to use a wet cloth, make sure you dry the piece of furniture with a separate clean, dry cloth before proceeding to paint it.
- Be sure to only use a clean duster to remove dust and debris from your furniture. Take your duster outside and shake it well to make sure it's completely clean before using it.
- Sand your piece if it's unvarnished and hasn't been painted. The dry brush paint technique works best on surfaces that have been sanded down, although you probably shouldn't sand your furniture if it's already been painted. If your furniture is unvarnished, lightly sand the surface of it with 150-grit sandpaper, then use a damp cloth to remove the sanding dust.[2]
- Sanding the furniture creates a rough surface that allows the paint to adhere to the furniture more easily.
- You can also use sandpaper that is finer than 150-grit, although using anything rougher than this may cause some damage to your piece.
- Detach any hinges, knobs, or pieces of hardware you don't want to paint. Use a screwdriver to remove anything attached to your furniture that you wouldn't want to accidentally get paint on. Put the screws in a small container (e.g., a plastic bag) and place them somewhere you won't lose them.[3]
- Keep the screws and pieces of hardware that you remove together to make it easier for you to reattach them later on.
- Cover any areas that you don't want to paint with painter's tape. There may be some parts of your furniture that you don't want to paint for aesthetic reasons or that you don't want to paint but also can't easily remove (e.g., glass panes on a door). Use painter's tape to cover these areas and avoid accidentally painting on them.[4]
- You can buy painter's tape at any paint or hardware store.
- Apply a base coat of paint to your furniture if it hasn't been painted. The dry brush technique works best on furniture that has already been painted, so give your piece a base coat of paint in a solid color if it's unvarnished. Be sure to allow the piece to dry overnight after painting it.[5]
- You can use any hue of flat latex paint for your base coat. However, consider using a darker color that will contrast with the shade of paint you'll use when you dry brush the piece.
[Edit]Painting With the Dry Brush Technique - Pour of mixed paint onto a paper plate. Mix the paint in the can, then slowly pour onto a separate paper plate for you to use to dip your brush in. You can pour slightly more or slightly less paint onto the plate, although you probably won't need more than this amount to dry brush your furniture.[6]
- Alternatively, you may also be able to use the lid to the paint can itself to hold your paint as your painting.
- There's no one kind of paint that is most effective for dry brush painting; any kind of paint will do!
- Dip your paint brush into the paint so that just the tips are covered. The success of the dry brush technique partially depends on you using only a small amount of paint. Dip your brush very lightly into the paint you've poured out and aim to cover only the tips of the brush in paint.
- You'll want to dip your brush into the paint in such a way that you're just able to see that there is a small amount of paint on the bristles.
- Make sure the bristles still appear separate after you dip them in the paint and don't stick together. If the bristles are sticking, there's too much paint on the brush.
- Blot your brush on a cloth or paper towel to remove excess paint. Remember, the success of the dry brush technique also depends on making your brush as dry as possible. Use a cloth, paper towel, or some other throwaway item to remove any excess paint while still retaining some color on the brush.[7]
- Examples of other throwaway items you might use include another paper plate or a piece of cardboard.
- Don't be afraid to remove too much paint from the brush. When dry brushing, it's better to have too little paint on the brush rather than too much.
- Use light pressure to quickly apply the paint with small strokes. Your strokes should be light-handed and should be in a back-and-forth motion. Make sure your strokes are quick, as moving too slowly will result in heavy spots of paint on the piece.[8]
- Aim to perform 2 to 4 small strokes with your brush before repeating the process of dipping it in the paint and blotting it on a separate cloth or paper towel.
- Continue brushing with small, light strokes until the piece is covered. Work from the top of your piece downward until you've painted all the areas you wanted to paint. Aim to keep your brush moving as much as possible while you're painting to minimize the risk of leaving heavy paint spots.[9]
- You'll probably only need to go over each spot with 1 or 2 strokes to achieve a good dry brush effect. However, if you feel a spot can use slightly more color on it, feel free to perform one more pass over it.
- Remove or blend heavy spots with a rag or sponge. Once the piece is completely covered, look over it to see if there are any paint clumps that need to be removed or blended into the rest of the paint. You can use a wet cloth to remove the paint or use a sanding sponge to blend it into the surrounding area.[10]
- Allow the furniture to dry overnight. Once you're satisfied with the amount of paint on your piece of furniture, let it dry overnight before moving it or applying any finish to it. You won't need to apply a second coat, so once it dries it's ready to be used as normal![11]
- Keep a clean, wet washcloth nearby as you're painting, in case you make a mistake and want to wipe it off.
- To better preserve your dry brush effect, consider spraying 2 coats of clear, water-based polyurethane on the piece after it's dried.
[Edit]Warnings - Make sure to keep children and pets away from any furniture you paint until it's had a chance to completely dry.
[Edit]Things You'll Need - Duster or cloth
- Sandpaper
- Screwdriver
- Painter's tape
- Paint brush
- Paper plate
- Paper towels
- Paint
[Edit]References |
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