| How to Teach Your Child Good Manners Posted: 17 Oct 2021 01:00 AM PDT Teaching manners to a young child may seem a little overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be. You can encourage your child to be polite by teaching them a few key phrases and greetings, encouraging them to understand the importance of empathy and compassion, and modeling good behavior so that they have a good example to look up to! This article explores these methods and more so that you can help your child learn the importance of good manners and etiquette. [Edit]Teach your child to say "hello" and "goodbye." - These phrases are the first steps to politely interacting with others. Practice by making a point to say "hello" or "good morning" when you wake up each day. As your child starts to get the hang of it, try to remind them to say hello to relatives and friends. If they forget to say hi, gently remind them. Try something like, "That's our neighbor Tom! Do you want to say hello?"[1]
- They can even learn how to say "hi" when they haven't learned to speak yet! Try teaching your child how to wave hello and goodbye.
[Edit]Remind them to say "please" when asking for something. - It wouldn't be an article on manners without the phrase "please." It's the perfect way to ask for a question or favor in a gentle, polite way. Anytime your child asks for something, whether it be a cookie or some help with their homework, tell them to say "please" somewhere in that request. Encourage them not to forget by reminding them to say it before completing the task.[2]
- For example, if your child asks for help retrieving a board game from the top shelf of the closet without saying please, say something like, "I can, but only if you say please!"
[Edit]Make sure they know the importance of "thank you." - Expressing gratitude is an important part of good manners. Teach your child when it's appropriate to say "thank you," like after someone has helped them, answered a question, or given them a gift. Gently remind your child to say thank you if you notice that they forgot. For example, if their friend gave them a picture they drew and your child takes it without a thank you, try something like, "Sarah drew that just for you! What do we say when someone gives us a gift?"[3]
- Try practicing "thank you" by wrapping up objects around the house as if they were gifts. Exchange these 'gifts' with your child and take turns unwrapping them and saying "thank you."[4]
[Edit]Encourage them to sit still and avoid mess when eating. - It's very common for kids to play with their food. Who wouldn't want to throw mashed potatoes if given the chance? Though tempting, there are many strategies you can employ to teach your child to be polite at the dinner table. First, try not to react when your child makes a big mess. If they're throwing food, for example, they may just want your attention. Avoid laughing or getting angry, and simply ask them to stop. If they continue to make a mess, let them know that mealtime is over. Enacting gentle but firm boundaries can help your child understand the consequences of their actions. [5]
- Help your child practice by offering only a few bites at a time. A dollop of mashed potatoes isn't as fun to play with as a mashed potato mountain. Sit with them at the table and give them more portions as they eat.
[Edit]Help them learn how to make eye contact in conversation. - Looking someone in the eye is an important part of having a meaningful conversation! It can be hard for anyone, child or adult, so understand if this step takes a little extra time. To practice, ask your child to look members of your family in the eye to determine their eye color. This can make it feel more like a game and can help them get more comfortable in conversation![6]
- If you notice your child staring at the ground while talking to someone, gently suggest they look up when someone speaks to them. Avoid embarrassing them, though, as they may just be feeling extra shy! Try something like, "Grandma's here, don't you want to look up and see what she has to say?"
[Edit]Instruct them not to interrupt people in conversation. - Help your child understand that when you speak to people, you take turns.[7] Anytime you have a conversation and your child interrupts you, ask them to wait until you are done speaking. Remain consistent anytime they interrupt you, and praise them for waiting their turn when they do!
[Edit]Educate them about being kind. - Teach your child the importance of empathy, compassion, and care for their community. To help them understand empathy, encourage them to look at conflicts from another person's perspective. For example, if they are arguing with a sibling, ask both children to explain their point of view. Motivate them to really listen to the others' perspective by having them repeat back how their sibling feels. Come up with a compromise so that your child learns how to react positively even when they don't get exactly their way. You can also foster compassion through talking to your children about issues in the world that may cause people to experience hardship, like racism, poverty, and homophobia.[8]
- If your child is old enough, take them to volunteer in your community to learn about the importance of giving back and doing the right thing!
- Watch educational television shows and movies that encourage children to learn about ethics. The animated films of Hayao Miyazaki, for example, often explore themes of caring for others as well as the environment.
[Edit]Set clear expectations. - Instead of simply telling your child not to do something, say what they should do as well. A "no" without any alternative suggestion may leave your child feeling confused about what to do next. Give your child directions so that they know what good behavior they should practice instead.[9]
- For example, if your child often eats messily at the dinner table, don't just tell them to stop it. Follow that with something like, "Let's keep all of our food on our plate" or "How about we eat our food instead of throwing it?"
[Edit]Be aware of your child's limits. - It may take time for your child to understand manners. As a young kid maybe they know how to say "hello" and "goodbye," but they don't yet know how to say "please." Celebrate the small victories and take things one day at a time. It's also best to take the context into account when teaching your child new manners. If your child is exhausted from a long day of preschool, that may not be the best time to introduce a new expectation.[10]
[Edit]Remain consistent. - Always follow through with the expectations you set for your child. If you teach your child not to interrupt people, for example, and then say nothing when they interrupt you, that gives your child mixed messages. As soon as you introduce a new lesson in etiquette, hold your child accountable by reminding them to practice their manners consistently.[11]
[Edit]Model good manners for your child. - Children learn best through example. Always be kind, polite, and courteous in front of your child so that they have a positive role model to look up to. Yes, we all have our bad days, but try your absolute best to minimize or hide any anger or impatience in front of your child.[12]
- Consider eating dinner as a family each night and modeling positive, courteous behavior! This is a great place to practice polite conversation as well as dinner table manners in particular.
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/manners/teaching-manners-kids/ ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/manners/teaching-manners-kids/ ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/manners/teaching-manners-kids/ ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/manners/teaching-manners-kids/ ↑ https://www.parenting.com/toddler/ask-dr-sears-table-manners-for-toddlers/ ↑ https://www.parents.com/kids/responsibility/manners/teaching-manners-kids/ ↑ https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/how-do-i-teach-my-son-not-to-interrupt-me/ ↑ https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/17/02/raising-kind-children ↑ https://childmind.org/article/how-discipline-toddlers/ ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/toddler-tantrums.html?WT.ac=ctg ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/toddler-tantrums.html?WT.ac=ctg ↑ https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/17/02/raising-kind-children |
| How to Get Popular on Instagram Posted: 16 Oct 2021 05:00 PM PDT Looking to grow your followers? Working on defining a brand and take your Instagram to the next level? We'll give you some pointers on how to get started, reach a bigger crowd, and build a successful social media brand strategy. [Edit]Instagram Growth Fundamentals - Link your Instagram profile to your other social networks. Your existing followers on other networks are a great start, since they're already interested in what you post. To connect your accounts and start sharing Instagram posts directly to Facebook and other networks, open your profile on the Instagram phone app and go to your → → .[1]
- Use the same handle on all your social media channels to make it easier for people to find you on different platforms.[2]
- To automatically follow all the Instagram accounts of your phone contacts, open your profile and go to → → . Hopefully your contacts will follow you back![3]
- Follow ~100 to 200 accounts per day. Following accounts is an easy way to get a lot of follows back, but Instagram might suspend your account if you spam this feature. Most accounts can safely follow up to 200 people per day, if those are spread out across the day. For a new account, start with 50/day and gradually work your way up.[4]
- Careful—this limit actually includes both follows and unfollows. If you try the sneaky "follow and unfollow" just to try and get a follower, that will count as 2 of your follows for the day.
- The best follows are accounts that are interested in the same kind of content as you. Check the Explore and Reel feeds, and search for keywords and hashtags related to the hobbies and interests you like to post about.[5]
- Comment on popular accounts. Follow celebrities, brands, and any active, popular accounts that you think your followers would also be interested in. Get attention by commenting on their posts regularly. These comments can be witty, sweet, or snarky—whatever your style is—but it's best to keep them short and not ask for follows directly.[6]
- Spamming comments like "Hey follow me!" probably won't work. Write something that people like, and they'll check out your account.
- Follow people who like your pictures. When you use hashtags, you'll get some strangers liking your pictures. When you do, follow them back. If someone expresses an interest in your pictures and your profile, it's good to reach out and connect. Comment on one of their pictures or like a few in return. It only takes a minute or two and it helps to get a new follower.
- It's good to show that you're a real person, and not just a follower-gathering machine. Reach out and make a little comment, even if it's just "Thanks!"
- Look for shoutout opportunities. If you can get the right kind of account to give you a shoutout (tag you in their post), it can be worth a decent handful of followers. Here's some advice for how to do this while you're starting out:[7]
- Message other accounts asking if they're interested in trading shoutouts. This works best if you both make similar content and have roughly the same number of followers. (It's not a fair trade if the other account is 1,000 times larger than yours.)
- Give your followers a shoutout once in a while when they post about something relevant to your account. They'll often shout you back.
- Engage with your followers. Follower count is not much use if you have low engagement with your posts. Don't just put up pictures and expect that people will like your page. Engage with people who express interest and stay social on Instagram.[8] The more you can get people to interact with your posts, the more presence you'll have in their feed, and the more you'll be recommended to new potential followers.[9]
- Hold contests. Give away something fun to the "best comment" or to a particular follower for doing something. Make your prize somehow related to the theme of your page.
- Ask your followers questions and respond to their questions. Better yet, have actual conversations and express an interest in their lives and their pictures.
- Make a funny comment that people will want to share. If they share your post that will make your account visible to many more users.
- Treat Instagram growth as a serious commitment. Growing an Instagram presence to the point of financial success usually means treating it like a job. If you're serious about this goal, make sure you can commit to:[10]
- Posting content seven days a week
- Sharing a large amount of your private life with the world
- Demonstrating to brand sponsors that you are professional and trustworthy
- Sticking by your Instagram image; there's nothing more damaging to your Instagram follower count than seeming "fake" or hypocritical.
[Edit]Account Branding - Pick a theme for your page and stick to it. People are more likely to follow a page with a specific and clear theme. When you're crafting yours, try to think about what you're likely to include in your photo feed. What are you passionate about? What are your interests?
- Music, humor, literature & news, movies & actors, and travel are some of the fastest-growing topics on Instagram.[11]
- Other topics with high potential include food & drink, animals, nature photography, partying, yoga or exercise, home decorating and lifestyle, fashion, and sports.
- Use professional account tools to analyze your audience. If you haven't yet, go to your profile and hit → → .[12] This unlocks the "Insights" feature, which you can check regularly to learn more about your audience demographics and how engaged they are with your content.[13]
- Make strategy decisions based on this info. For instance, if you want to plan a collaboration with another creator, choose one with a similar audience to your own. Feature businesses and products that appeal to your follower demographics.
- Ask your audience specific questions directly. Sometimes just asking is the easiest form of market research. Wondering what your followers think of a new trend? Can't decide between two shoot locations this weekend? Make a post that uses an interactive sticker (for instance, a Poll sticker for detailed feedback or an Emoji Slider for a quick reaction) to get immediate responses from your fans.[14]
- Stickers are not currently available in Japan or the European Union.
- Write a clear and specific bio. When someone looks at your page, they need to be able to tell what you're about immediately. Connect your bio to your theme with a few short, clear sentences. You can make yourself more searchable by adding a keyword or hashtag in the bio or straight in the name field, like "Christian the #cake decorating master" or "Akil | Urban photography".[15]
- This is the right place to link to your business page, your website, or anything else you want to showcase. (Only the links here, not in your posts, will be clickable.) Shorten the URL if it's too long.[16]
- Keep your bio up-to-date to reference new projects, or to adapt the tone as you get a better sense of your brand identity and what your audience likes.
- Take a good profile pic. Individuals should usually go with a close-up of their face, while a business with more than a couple of employees can use a logo. The Instagram profile pic shows up real small and gets cropped to a circle, so a simple, centered close-up with a neutral background works best.[17]
- These are safe guidelines, but experiment if you're feeling bold or if a face doesn't really say what your Instagram is about. Is this account for your dog? Then she belongs in the profile pic. Craft beer enthusiast? Show us the suds.
- On phones, the pic size is 110 x 110 pixels, but choose a pic that's at least 200 x 200 so it won't look grainy on desktops.
- Stay on-brand even while advertising. Your followers want to see you as a real person who uses their platform for good, especially when it comes to priorities and values that are central to your brand. Social media influencer and model Lucy Bennett, for example, doesn't work with fashion brands with limited sizing or poor racial representation on their social media. Similarly, if you promote sustainable food, don't partner with brands that have a poor ecological reputation.[18]
- Working with companies can be a collaboration. If a company approaches you with a proposal that's not quite right, write back and suggest improvements that match your brand. The more "authentic" you come across as, the better it is for the company.
[Edit]Content Creation - Post at least once per day. Following lots of people and being friendly on Instagram may get you a fair number of followers, but you also need to have the content there to back it up.[19] Keeping your followers is just as important as gaining new ones. Aim to post at least 1 to 2 times per day, every day.[20]
- Instead of burning through all your best photos at once, set yourself a schedule with reasonable update goals.[21]
- Sit down at the start of each week or month to identify upcoming events (both personal ones like birthdays and public ones like holidays). Plan in advance so you have great posts ready when those days arrive.
- Experiment with when you post. Instagram has more users online in the early mornings Tuesday through Friday; the late afternoon on weekdays; and Saturday around 11am. That's a good start, but your audience might be on a different schedule depending on their age and what time zones they live in. Start with some smart guesses, play around with your posting times, and track engagement at different hours of the day.[22]
- Improve your Stories videos. Video is now the favorite content medium of social media users, and is increasingly important for driving ad and sponsorship revenue. Instagram favors short, vertically oriented videos that lead with the most important content first, so start with that stunning sunrise, the visual punchline, or the sponsored message.[23]
- Make Reels that focus on entertainment. In the Reels feed, Instagram's algorithm prioritize videos that users find funny or entertaining. Making lighter, even silly video content is a good strategy for attracting new followers, as long as you don't depart too far from your brand persona.[24]
- Include captions with every photo. Pictures need to have context. Captions are an opportunity to add a little joke to your post, or engage directly with your followers.
- Most people use captions for their hashtags. This is important, but it's not enough by itself. Throw some emojis and some text in there as well.
- Try ending your captions with a "call to action" i.e. ask followers a question, ask them to post their own photos with your hashtag, or tell them to check your bio for a link to more content. This makes more people stop scrolling and engage with you.[25]
- Use relevant hashtags. Hashtags are a great opportunity to get your pictures out to people who aren't your followers. Find popular hashtags by seeing what's trending, looking at what other people on your feed are using, and clicking on your own hashtags to see what similar hashtags other people are including in their posts.[26]
- It's not all about the raw numbers. It's better to have one of the best photos on a smaller hashtag than to be lost among a million #beach photos.
- If your picture is tied to a particular place, and you don't mind the lower privacy setting, set your Instagram so that it can tag your location. This shows your geotagged pictures to local people.
- You can find relevant and popular hashtags using sites and apps like TagsForLikes or Keyword Lookup.
[Edit]Picture and Video Quality - Take a variety of pictures around your theme. If you want to keep your followers' attention, you'll need to find a variety of things to post about. You can stay within a topic (like cooking), but change up the specifics (different dishes, mid-cooking progress shots, restaurant exteriors, and so on).
- Never re-post the same picture that you've already posted, especially not the same day. If you didn't get as many likes as you wanted the first time, don't put the same picture back up.
- Use natural light and simple layouts. For most shots, it's best not to overcomplicate it. To photograph a plate of food or a piece of clothing, arrange it in the center of the frame. Keep other props simple and sparse, so it doesn't look cluttered.[27]
- Try simple editing tools before filtering. Instagram's filter options are well-known, and can sometimes achieve a good effect. But with a few minutes of work, you can often get better, more natural-seeming results with the basic editing tools on your phone or computer:[28]
- Crop your photo to center your subject, follow the "rule of thirds", or otherwise improve the composition.
- Adjust the brightness and contrast until the subject stands out.
- Try out the saturation slider or other color correction tools to adjust the colors.
- Use the sharpen tool if your image looks blurry or muted.
- Caption your videos. Around 40% of Instagram videos are viewed without sound. Whenever words are important to a video (for instance, if you need to mention a sponsoring brand), make sure your audience can see them.[29]
- Use Instagram's built-in story tools. Instagram's Story feature gives you a lot of options: stickers, GIFs, and even video editing. Play around with these if you want to make some more elaborate or text-heavy posts. If you make one that you're extra proud of, pin it to your profile as a Highlight (or Permanent Story) so it doesn't disappear.[30]
- Take advantage of other photo editing apps. There are tons of other photo editing apps for people who want more options, from advanced and subtle tools to funny joke filters. Here are a few of the most popular phone versions (many of them free):[31]
- Snapseed
- Lightroom
- Adobe Photoshop Express
- Prisma
- Bazaart
- Photofox
- VSCO
- PicsArt
- Keep it classy, or you risk getting your Instagram account canceled. When you're trying to get popular on Instagram, keep it hovering around PG-13 at the most.
- If you're concerned about your privacy, take control of it by not posting anything you'd regret. Don't put anything personal or embarrassing on your Instagram page. Make sure you don't geotag your home address and stay safe online.
[Edit]Warnings - Instagram tries to detect and block accounts that use tools that try to make you Instagram famous automatically (for instance, by making bot accounts or posting comments for you). Sometimes these tools work for a while, but they come with the risk of Instagram finding out and blocking your account.[32]
- It's a lot more difficult to get Instagram followers if your account is set to private, which stops anyone from seeing your posts until you approve their follow request. To turn off private mode, go to your profile, then click → .[33]
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Deal With Conflict Posted: 16 Oct 2021 09:00 AM PDT Have you ever been in a conflict or been angry at someone and not known how to solve it? Healthy and creative conflict resolution is an essential skill that many adults don't know how to master. Whether it's defusing potentially damaging fights with a spouse or tackling tough problems in the workplace or at school, a couple of key pointers will go a long way in equipping you with the right tools to resolve conflicts. [Edit]How do you stay calm during a conflict? - Accept that it's normal to have strong emotions. Being prepared for intense feelings will allow you to sidestep some of them: Instead of being taken by surprise, you anticipate that you might have them. Emotions are sometimes easier to handle if they don't take you completely by surprise.[1]
- If you're feeling overwhelmed by emotions—especially if you're angry or anxious—wait until you're feeling calm again before you try to talk about it.[2]
- While it's tough to cool down in the heat of the moment, it can be helpful to tell yourself something like, '"Okay, I know that arguing with Roberto usually gets my blood boiling, so I'm going to try to stay calm. I won't let my emotions dictate the tenor of the conversion. Count to three before responding to any of his statements, especially if I perceive them as accusations."'
- Try to deal with the conflict as soon as possible to avoid anxiety. Some (small) conflicts fizzle out and die if ignored for long enough; but most bigger conflicts, ironically, get worse if categorically ignored. Even though dealing with conflict is stressful, it will get worse if you put it off. Commit to handling it as soon as you're able.[3]
- Approach the situation head-on from the beginning. If the other person or persons suggests a heart-to-heart, accept. If the other person seems standoffish, reach out to them.
- Try to manage your stress during the conflict itself. It's normal to feel some anxiety or even anger when dealing with a conflict. This is definitely stressful. But while stress sometimes serves a very good purpose, it's not very productive in an argument. It can produce argumentative, aggressive behavior, momentarily subdue rational thought, and cause defensive reactions. By managing your stress you can hopefully mitigate those other reactions.[4]
- Take deep breaths to keep yourself calm. Breathe slowly in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- You could also have a tough conversation in a space where you feel comfortable. If you need to talk to a friend, try a coffee shop that you like. Maybe you could have a tricky work discussion in the breakroom so that you'll be on neutral ground. Choose a location that feels good to you.
[Edit]How do you handle conflict at work? - Talk to the other person. While it might be tempting to avoid conflict, it's best to face it head-on. Ask the other person to have a conversation with you, and pick a time and place that works for both of you. Try meeting in a neutral area like a conference room or a common area.[5]
- Use a calm tone of voice and stay professional throughout the conversation. Try saying something like, "I'd really like for us to work together to solve this issue."
- Listen attentively to the other person. Come ready to be open-minded and objective. Listen to the other person's complaints, focus on the truly important underlying message, and try to address it. You can show that you're listening by using your body language. Try:[6]
- Nodding your head when they make a point
- Using facial expressions to demonstrate interest
- Maintaining eye contact
[Edit]How do you manage employee conflict in the workplace? - Be open-minded. Set aside any preconceived notions you have about the employees that are involved in the conflict. This is really tough to do sometimes, but it's an important part of being a manager. Focus on the conflict at hand rather than your personal opinions about the people involved.[7]
- For example, if some of your employees are arguing about prime office space don't worry about whether or not you simply like one better than the other.
- Respect their differences. Understand that some people simply aren't going to get along. Don't go out of your way to try to make them be best friends. Instead, encourage them to be professional with one another and leave it at that.[8]
- If problems persist, ask HR to help you moderate the conflict. They are trained in conflict resolution.
- If you are an HR manager who is having trouble managing a conflict, the best thing to do is to rely on your company's guidelines. Following protocol can help you know what to do. If that method isn't working for you, reach out to a trusted colleague or supervisor for help. Talk to them about the problem you are having and ask for guidance.
[Edit]What sort of body language should I use during a stressful conversation? - Keep your posture open. Most conflicts are mediated through language, but that doesn't mean that the only thing you need to pay attention to is the phrasing of your words — which are, by the way, important. Maintain a friendly posture when you're having a discussion.[9]
- Don't slouch, sit with your arms crossed, or face the other way. Don't fidget with something like you're bored. Sit or stand with your shoulders back, your arms at your sides, and facing the subject at all times.
- Maintain eye contact with the other person. Show them that you're interested in what they're saying by being alert and showing concern in your face. Don't stare at them aggressively, though. It's okay to blink normally and even glance away occasionally. The point is just to let them know that you are paying attention to what they are saying.[10]
[Edit]What skills do I need to resolve a conflict? - Resist the urge to overgeneralize. Over-generalizations can be harmful because they can put the other person on the defensive. Try to be really specific when you talk about what's bothering you. That will make it easier to find a solution.[11]
- Instead of saying "You always cut me off and never let me finish my sentence," try going with the more diplomatic "Please don't interrupt me; I let you finish talking and I'd appreciate the same courtesy."
- Use "I" statements instead of "You" statements. This accomplishes two things. First, it makes the problem less about them and more about you, which is less likely to put them on the defensive. Second, it helps explain the situation better, letting the other person understand where you're coming from.[12]
- An example of a good "I" statement might look like this: "I feel put down when you ask me to clean up the dishes like that because I've spent the better half of the day preparing a nice meal for us and I'd appreciate some acknowledgment from you."
- Make resolution the priority. When you're trying to solve an issue, you might be really invested in being right. That's normal, especially if you are in the right. But if you really want to work things out, coming to a resolution should be your top goal, even if you have to swallow your pride.[13]
- You might have to compromise, but that can be a good thing.
[Edit]How do you deal with conflict in your relationship? - Stay calm and respectful. If you react this way, it's much more likely that your partner will stay level-headed, too. Take a deep breath if you need to, but try to keep your tone of voice steady and avoid saying hurtful things. This is especially hard when you're dealing with someone you love, but it's really helpful[14]
- For example, avoid something like, "I hate when you're like this! I don't even want to deal with you!" Instead, try "I feel like we're having trouble communicating. Can we start this conversation again? I'll be calmer."
- Be open-minded instead of jumping to conclusions. Even if you feel like you understand what the person is saying and where they're coming from, let them say it themselves. It's important, both for catharsis and communication, that they feel that they are equally important in this conversation.[15]
- Instead of assuming your partner is always late coming home because they don't care about you, try saying, "Is everything okay at work? I've noticed you're getting home really late."
- Accept accountability for your role in the conflict. When you're having a tough time dealing with someone, it's easy to blame them for all of the trouble. Even if it is their fault, try to look at things from their point of view. They probably see it differently, so take accountability for your part in the conflict.[16]
- Maybe you and your partner are arguing about who does the most work around the house. Even if you feel like you do the majority of it, suggest setting up a chore calendar or finding another way to divvy up duties.
[Edit]How do you reduce tension during a conflict? - Show that you're open to compromise. Throw away the idea that you're going to get completely what you want without having to sacrifice anything. That's probably not going to happen. You're going to have to compromise, and you want to show compromise because you care about the other person, not because you know it's something you're being forced to do. The one gesture comes from a good place, the other from a not-so-good place. A couple things to keep in mind when you compromise:[17]
- Under-promise, over-deliver. This is the manager's mantra, but it may as well be yours. Don't promise the other person the world just because you're sick of the conflict and want it resolved quickly. Promise the other person slightly less than what you think you can deliver — be realistic about it — and then wow them by exceeding their expectations.
- Don't punish them after you compromise. Don't purposefully do a bad job at whatever you said you'd do because you don't really believe in the compromise. This will only prolong the conflict.
- Use safe humor to ease the situation. After emotions run high and all the logical arguments have blunted your ability to think clearly, a little bit of humor can really ease tensions between two people. Try a mildly self-deprecating joke to show the other person you're not so high and mighty. And remember to laugh with the other person, not at them, for best results.[18]
- Take a step back from it all if you're too caught up in the moment. A lot of couples, for example, give themselves a 20-minute cooling-off period in which they let their emotions and stress calm down before tackling an issue. This makes communication easier for a lot of people. Sometimes, all it takes is a little self-imposed perspective on the situation to see the forest from the trees.
- Ask yourself — how important is this thing we're arguing about? In the grand scheme, is this going to make or break my relationship with this person, or is it something I can let slide?
- Ask yourself — is there anything you can do about the situation? Sometimes, we get mad about problems over which other people have no control.
- You can try a variety of these strategies to find what works for you. Not every conflict is the same, so you might not want to handle them all the same, either.
- If you're having a serious conflict at work, it might be a good idea to reach out to your manager or HR.
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
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