| How to Deal with a Bossy Coworker Posted: 22 Jun 2022 09:00 AM PDT Do you ever feel like you have two bosses? There's your actual boss, and then there's a coworker who acts like they're your boss. Getting told what to do is frustrating enough, but it's even harder to deal with when it comes from a peer and not someone in charge. Fortunately, there are ways you can deal with your coworker without making a huge scene. Read this article for a comprehensive list of tips for dealing with a bossy coworker that you can use today. [Edit]Treat your coworker with kindness. - Being calm and nice will lead to a more productive workplace environment. It can be tough to keep your emotions in check when your coworker bosses you around. If you find yourself getting frustrated or worked up, take a few deep breaths and count to 10 before responding.[1]
- Bossy people tend to look for situations where they can play the victim. The more you treat them with respect and kindness, the less fuel you'll add to the fire.
- However, being kind doesn't mean letting them tell you what to do forever. You can still be kind and civil while also being assertive about your own needs.
[Edit]Call out their behavior in the moment. - Calling them out now will help prevent a big blow up later on. If you feel like your coworker is being bossy, calmly but firmly tell them that the way they just talked to you wasn't okay. They might just take the hint and stop bossing you around, especially if they don't do it often.[2]
- "I'm not sure you can assign that task to me, since you aren't in charge of this project."
- "I feel like you don't trust me to do a good job on my own. Is that the case?"
- "I actually don't need your help with that, I can tackle this on my own."
[Edit]Tell them no gently. - Decline their orders without starting a fight. When a coworker demands that you do something, it can feel tough to tell them no without sounding rude. Try skirting around the issue by telling them you aren't going to do that while still being professional. Use phrases like:[3]
- "That's a great idea, but I have a lot on my plate already. Why don't I focus on my work, and you can focus on your own?"
- "I'm going to follow the guidelines set by the boss."
- "Let's check in with the boss first to see what they say."
[Edit]Have a private conversation with them. - Talking to your coworker one-on-one can help settle your differences. If your coworker has bossed you around a few times already, it's worth having a conversation with them. Invite them out to coffee or go out to lunch together to have a chat. Talk to them about how you've been feeling, and use "I" statements to bring up issues without your coworker getting defensive or angry.[4]
- "When you micromanage my work, I feel like you think I can't handle it on my own."
- "When you tell me what to do, it makes me feel frustrated. We're coworkers and peers, so we're on the same level here."
- "When you walk me through things I already know how to do, it makes me feel belittled."
[Edit]Set clear boundaries. - Boundaries will tell your coworker what is (and isn't) okay. In a private conversation, spell out exactly what you'd like your coworker to stop doing, and how you'd like them to treat you in the future. That way, they know their behavior is unacceptable, and they can work on making changes in the future.[5]
- "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell me what to do anymore. I'll focus on my work, and you can focus on yours. If you have concerns about my work, feel free to ask me questions about it."
- "In the future, let's work on collaborating with each other instead of trying to tell each other what to do."
- "I like working with you, but I'd like it even more if we could both focus on our own work."
[Edit]Focus on your common goals. - Direct your coworker's attention toward your workplace, not you. Chances are, your coworker is being bossy because they want everyone to put their best foot forward. Remind your coworker that you're both working toward the same goal, and you care about your work just as much as they do.[6]
- "I understand that you want our projects to be polished—so do I! We all want our work to look good so that our clients trust us."
- "We're both working toward the same goal. I also care about this company and doing the best I can do."
- "I've worked here for 5 years, so I know just how important the deadlines are."
[Edit]Lead by example. - Show your coworker how you can make requests, not demands. Maybe your coworker isn't sure how to approach you when they have a question or a concern. You can give them an example by treating them with respect and never bossing them around. That way, they know what's expected of them, and they can follow your lead going forward.[7]
- If you need them to do something for you, you might say, "Hey, do you have time to take this on later? No worries if not; I know you're busy."
- If you want to work together on something, you could say, "Hey, just checking to see if you wanted to collaborate on this report. With some team effort, I think we could knock this out of the park."
[Edit]Try not to take their bossiness personally. - Let their comments roll off your back to help you move on. Bossy people rarely single out one person in particular—if you pay attention, you'll probably find that your coworker is bossy toward everyone, not just you. When you find yourself getting fed up, remind yourself that it's nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.[8]
- Bossy people often feel the need to control everything around them, which can be exhausting. There's a good chance that your bossy coworker doesn't enjoy telling everyone what to do, but they don't really know how to stop.
[Edit]Give your coworker the benefit of the doubt. - Thinking about their good traits can help calm you down. Your coworker might not mean to be bossy—maybe they're trying to be assertive, or they care a lot about the workplace. Try to keep these points in mind, and don't assume that your coworker is out to get you.[9]
- Some people talk with a harsher tone, which can make them sound bossy when they don't mean to be. Your coworker might just have a different communication style than you do.
[Edit]Get close to your other coworkers. - Lean on your peers so you can all be assertive together. If you notice that you're not the only one being bossed around by your coworker, sit down and chat with your other coworkers about it. Try not to be rude or gossip about them—stick to the facts, and then talk about what you can all do together about it in the future.[10]
- "Have you noticed that Sarah is a little bossy? Maybe the next time she tries to tell one of us what to do, we could stick up for each other."
- "I noticed that Sam was telling you what to do yesterday. He does the same thing to me. Should we talk to him about it?"
[Edit]Talk to your boss if you need to. - Your boss can help mediate if nothing is changing. If you've tried talking to your coworker one-on-one and they still tell you what to do all the time, escalate the situation. Approach your boss or the HR department and ask them to have a chat with your coworker. They can help you deal with the conflict and get things resolved quickly.[11]
- Treat your meeting with the boss or HR as a chance to go over peer-to-peer relations rather than a coworker-bashing session. Keep your comments professional and respectful to get the higher-ups on your side.
- "Jeremy does great work, and I can tell he cares a lot about this company. However, I've noticed that he tends to take on a leadership role often, even when it's not required of him. I'd love to chat with you and Jeremy at the same time to go over his role and how he fits into this team."
[Edit]References |
| How to Eat Salsa Without Chips Posted: 22 Jun 2022 01:00 AM PDT Salsa makes a great snack since it's loaded with healthy vegetables, but tortilla chips may contain a lot of sodium. If you want to find alternatives to chips or just want to incorporate salsa into more meals, you can easily use it with other foods. While you can dip other pieces of food into the salsa, you can also use it as a condiment or topping to add more flavor. Otherwise, you can use salsa as a marinade or sauce in your meals to make them more delicious! [Edit]Using Salsa as a Dip - Enjoy vegetables with your salsa for a healthy alternative. You can use any vegetables you want for your snack, but try carrots, celery stalks, green peppers, radish, or jicama since they'll complement the flavors well. Wash and cut the vegetables into sticks so they're easier to dip. Scoop out the salsa with the vegetables or use a spoon to put some onto the end of the vegetable stick.[1]
- This works best with thicker salsas since loose salsa may not stick on the vegetables as well.
- You can also try using cut peppers, sugar snap peas, or cucumber with your salsa as well.
- Try eating salsa with saltines or buttered crackers for a crispy snack. Choose your favorite crackers and opt for low sodium varieties if you don't want them to contain as much salt. Dip the cracker in the salsa so some of the chunks stay on top of the cracker. If you're worried about the cracker breaking when you dip it, use a spoon to scoop the salsa onto it instead.[2]
- Put small slices of cheese on your crackers before dipping them if you want a richer flavor.
- Substitute salsa for cocktail sauce if you're having shrimp. Stir the salsa in a small bowl and add fresh cilantro, hot sauce, and avocados if you want to make it chunkier. Use shrimp that has been cleaned, cooked, and chilled with your salsa. Dip the shrimp in the salsa mixture before eating it. Be sure not to eat the shrimp's tail since it's inedible.[3]
- You can also combine salsa with cocktail sauce if you want to mix the flavors together.
- If the salsa feels too loose or doesn't stick to the shrimp, try draining some of the liquid or chilling it in your fridge until it's thick.
- Mix sour cream or ranch dressing with your salsa for a smooth, zesty dip. Pour your salsa into a large mixing bowl and stir in an equal part of either sour cream or ranch dressing. Combine the ingredients with a rubber spatula until the dip has the same consistency throughout. Use your new dip for vegetables, crackers, or chicken wings whenever you want more flavor.[4]
- Store any leftover dip in an airtight container in your fridge for up to 1–2 weeks.
[Edit]Topping Food with Salsa - Scoop the salsa on tacos or burritos for traditional flavors. Put your meat or beans on the bottom of the taco to use as a base. Then add the rest of your toppings, such as cheese, lettuce, rice, and tomatoes. You can either put the salsa inside your taco, or you can smother the outside of a burrito if you want to use more sauce. Eat your taco as normal, making sure you're careful not to spill any of the salsa.[5]
- Putting salsa inside your taco could possibly weaken the tortilla so it's more likely to rip or break.
- You can use any type of salsa with your taco.
- Add salsa into scrambled eggs for a spicier breakfast. Scramble the eggs in a pan over medium heat until they're cooked through entirely, which should only take you 2–3 minutes. Put the eggs in a bowl before putting your salsa in the pan. Warm it up on your stove for 1–2 minutes and add the eggs back in so they stay warm.[6]
- You can also put salsa on top of eggs prepared any other way as well.
- Spread salsa on a burger to give it some spice. Choose a mild or hot salsa depending on how spicy you want to make your burger. Scoop out a spoonful of the salsa and set it directly on top of the cooked burger. You may also evenly spread the salsa on the top bun if you don't plan on using another type of sauce.[7]
- Avoid putting the salsa on the bottom bun since it will make it more likely to break apart.
- This works best with a thick or chunky salsa rather than one that's loose or has a lot of liquid.
- Dress a baked potato with salsa to make it more flavorful. Poke holes in the raw potato with a fork and put it in your microwave on high for 10 minutes to cook. Cut the baked potato lengthwise to split it in half and fluff it with your fork. Scoop your salsa and any other toppings, such as sour cream, cheese, or bacon, into the potato before serving it.[8]
- Try adding other ingredients, such as grilled peppers or green onions, for a stronger flavor.
- Put fruit salsa on fish to add some sweetness to the dish. Use salsas that have tropical fruits, such as cantaloupe, pineapple, or mango, since they'll complement the flavor of the fish best. Season the fish well with salt and pepper and cook it any way that you want. Add a spoonful of the fruit salsa on top of the fish before serving it.[9]
- This works well with fish that don't have as prominent of a flavor, such as cod or whitefish.
- You can also try using regular salsa if you want a savory-flavored fish.
- Try salsa on a Southwest salad for a lighter alternative to dressing. You can use salsa on any type of salad, but it will complement the flavor best if your salad contains beans. Stir a spoonful of your salsa into the salad until it's mixed thoroughly. If you want a stronger flavor, add more salsa to your salad.[10]
- Sprinkle cheese on top of your salad if you want to add more flavor.
[Edit]Incorporating Salsa into Your Meals - Cook a taco casserole with a layer of salsa if you want a simple, flavorful meal. Preheat your oven to . Spread a layer of cooked ground beef or chicken on the bottom of a baking pan. Then cover the top with layers of salsa and cheese. Put cut tortilla strips on top and bake the casserole for 30 minutes. Serve the casserole with sour cream as a topping.[11]
- Add jalapenos if you want your casserole to have a spicy kick.
- You can also use beans instead of meat if you want a vegetarian option.
- Put meat and salsa into a slow cooker to infuse the flavors more. Put 4 chicken breasts in a slow cooker and pour in enough salsa to completely submerge them. Leave the chicken in the slow cooker on low for 6–8 hours so the salsa absorbs into the meat. Shred the chicken with a fork and use it for tacos or any recipe that uses shredded chicken.[12]
- Store the chicken in an airtight container for up to 5 days.
- Try meats like pork or beef if you want a different taste.
- You may also add other herbs or spices to the slow cooker if you want to add more flavor.
- Mix the salsa into ground turkey to make juicy burgers. Since turkey usually dries out quickly, you can use salsa to add more liquid and some spice to your burgers. Combine the ground turkey meat with the salsa along with any other spices you want to use. Form the meat into patties before cooking them in a pan for 4–5 minutes on each side.[13]
- Use more salsa as a topping on your burger if you want a stronger flavor.
- Make a meat sauce with salsa to create with a Tex-Mex pasta. Cook ground beef in a large skillet until it's browned. Add chili powder, salt, pepper, and your salsa and allow it to simmer for about 10 minutes. Boil a pot of water and cook your pasta until it's tender. Drain the pasta and toss it in the meat sauce before serving it.[14]
- You can use any pasta you want for your dish.
- Add salsa to homemade chili to help thicken it up. Start by cooking the meat in a large pan and draining out the grease. Then add your spices, vegetables, salsa, and beans and leave it on your stove on low so it can simmer. Allow the chili to thicken up over 1 hour and stir it occasionally.[15]
- You don't need to use meat in your chili if you don't want to.
- Try adding salsa to random meals to see if it tastes good with them. That way, you can cook those dishes with salsa in the future.
[Edit]Warnings - Always cook your food through completely and wash your hands after handling raw meat.
[Edit]References |
| How to Balance Your Relationship and Studies Posted: 21 Jun 2022 05:00 PM PDT Do you want lots of success in school and your love life? You might think that's a lot to ask for, but it's actually totally achievable. With the right habits, you can stay on top of your classes and still have time for some romance. If you want to learn how to balance your relationship and studies, read on. Here, you'll discover that you truly can have it all!
This article is based on an interview with our life and relationship transition coach, Leah Morris, owner of Life Remade. [Edit]Talk about your goals for school. - Share what academic success looks like for both of you. It's important to be clear about what your goals and boundaries are. Before the semester starts, sit down and discuss what you'd both like to achieve. Also point out obstacles you need to steer clear of. You and your S.O. will have a game plan you can stick to. You can say something like:[1]
- "I want to get on the Dean's List, so I'll have to get above a 3.75 GPA."
- "I want to double major. That means I'll balance a heavy course load."
- "Sometimes, I won't be able to hang out on the weekends. I'll have to focus on term papers."
[Edit]Study together. - Meet up in a public place and be accountability buddies. If you choose a spot like a library or a college cafe, you'll be able to get in the right mindset and focus. Everyone else around you will be busy with work, too. Sit together, then get out all your books and notes. You'll be able to inspire each other right away.[2]
- It'll be easier to stay on track if you go somewhere that discourages talking.
- While you study, you can pat your S.O.'s hand or give them a side hug once in a while.
[Edit]Grab your meals together. - Sneak in some quick quality time since you both need to eat, anyway. Chow down on nutritious meals with your S.O. and fill yourselves up so you can focus. Head to the cafeteria or a campus restaurant. You'll make sure you have at least three periods of the day to cozy up to each other. [3]
- When you talk together, you'll be able to enjoy your meal and not rush when you eat it.
- Make a date out of preparing healthy snacks together. For example, you can make no-bake peanut butter balls.
- If your dorms have a shared kitchen, you can even cook together sometimes.
[Edit]Catch up during breaks. - Hang out only when you really have free time. Sit down together and compare your schedules. Find gaps between classes and homework sessions that are up for grabs. Reserve these slots for reconnecting as a couple. Then, give your S.O. your full attention. You'll be able to go back to your studies recharged.[4]
- Mix up the ways you unwind with each other. You can chill in your dorm on a weekday, then go for a walk around campus over the weekend.
- Look at all the time you have blocked off in your calendar for your S.O. It'll help you feel secure that you'll see them again.
[Edit]Send each other encouraging texts. - These sweet messages will make you smile all semester. Agree to silence the notifications on your phones. Whenever either of you are inspired, you can send a cute note that your S.O. won't see till later. When you two go to bed, check your texts. Each of you will feel adored. You each can say something like:[5]
- "You amaze me every day, and I think about you every night. 🌙 ❤️"
- "Loved seeing you study so hard in the library! I have such a crush on you. 🤤"
- "Miss you a bunch. We'll get through this semester! 💪"
[Edit]Share tips and tricks with each other. - Swap study techniques to learn how to be more successful. Maybe you know some productivity "hacks," like making a list of key ideas and reviewing them 1 hour a day. Chat about how you'll both try to master your subjects. You'll lift each other up and get an extra edge in your classes. You can start off with something like:[6]
- "I love color coding my notes! It helps me keep track of all the different concepts."
- "I like 'mind mapping.' I put one big idea in a circle, then connect every related idea to it."[7]
- "I study one key concept for 1 hour a day. On the weekend, I do a deep dive of my subject for 3-4 hours."
[Edit]Go on some special dates. - Carve out time for romance, even if it's just a quick moment. Make plans to get your minds off school and focus on just each other. Instead of chill hang outs, get more warm and sentimental. Even a couple hours can leave a lasting impression.[8]
- Grab coffee together at a local cafe and cuddle up to each other in the morning.
- Set up a picnic on your campus courtyard on a warm afternoon.
- Go downtown and share dinner or dessert together in the evening.
[Edit]Remind each other to take your health seriously. - Put your wellness above everything else to succeed in school. So you can both be at your best physically and mentally, get at least 8 hours of rest. Also make sure to eat nutritious meals that will keep you energized. When you take care of yourselves, you'll both reduce stress and boost your academic performances.[9]
- It's better to catch up on sleep than to skip it. You'll both be more refreshed.
- You both can exercise together. You'll stay more alert throughout your classes.
- Eat "whole" foods, like whole grains and veggies, to improve your moods and energy levels.[10]
[Edit]Keep positive attitudes about school. - Remember that you both can overcome any challenge with enough effort. In order to get the most out of your studies, keep a "growth mindset," an optimistic outlook that lets you see any difficult topic or task as an opportunity to learn. Just spend more time on the content that you two usually get stuck on. Then, acknowledge all your determination and hard work.[11]
- You and your S.O. can give each other pep talks. For example, you can say, "Asking a lot of questions is proof that you're learning!"
- When you get together, make a list of the topics that are a little confusing. You'll both know what to focus on.
- Tell each other that it's okay to reach out for help. You both can go to a tutoring center or to your professor's office hours.
[Edit]Bond over what's making you both busy. - Chat about how you're both moving even closer to your goals. When you're free and weeks have gone by, discuss what you've been focused on all semester. Explain how any recent exams or projects are really necessary. You'll both motivate each other, and it'll be way more exciting to go into more detail about your course load. You can say something like:[12]
- "I'm doing all these research projects so I can get all the experience I need for med school!"
- "I'm really focused on acing my English classes and getting to know the faculty so I can apply to an MFA after undergrad!"
- "Studying the GMAT will help me get my MBA! I'll get a career in finance and bring in the big bucks one day."
[Edit]Take entire days off when you can. - Unwind together as a reward for staying on track. Coordinate with each other and schedule a date after any important tests or assignments. Then, enjoy each other's company without any distractions, including schoolwork. You'll both see you can share special moments with each other throughout the semester.[13]
- You'll come back to your studies in a way better mood.
- You'll both get practice maintaining a work-life balance. After school, you'll also have to balance important tasks and relationships.[14]
- Fun days off will help you learn to keep your support system even when you're busy.[15]
[Edit]Prioritize exams and finals. - Give each other space during more intense periods. When you and your S.O. are in the middle of a finals week or have a huge assignment to prepare for, that should come first. Block out times on your schedules that need all your focus. You'll both be really thankful that you buckled down even if you missed each other.[16]
- Reassure each other that you'll reconnect after you've made it through the toughest periods.
- A "good morning" and "goodnight text" is okay.
- You can eat breakfast together before your tests to stay energized for them.
[Edit]Celebrate together during breaks from school. - Heap on affection and praise when you've made it to the finish line. Hug your S.O. and tell them how proud you are of all their discipline. Also thank them for their patience and for supporting your studies. Then, make some exciting plans with each other—you both deserve it.[17]
- Throw a tiny party right away. For example, you can toast sparkling cider in your dorm room.[18]
- Invite all your friends and family to a larger event, like a big dinner at a restaurant.
- Go on a romantic outing just for the two of you and put school off your mind for a little while.
[Edit]References |
| How to Heal a Ruptured Eardrum Posted: 21 Jun 2022 09:00 AM PDT The eardrum is fairly fragile, and trauma to the ear can cause the eardrum to tear, which is known as a ruptured or perforated eardrum. They're more common in children who develop middle ear infections, though they have multiple causes and can happen at any age.[1] Most ruptured eardrums heal on their own without medical intervention, but it's important to see your doctor to make sure there's not a possibility of hearing loss or infection. In the meantime, focus on protecting your eardrum from further damage, and treating any potential infection that might occur alongside it. [Edit]Medical Treatment - Recognize the signs of a ruptured eardrum. Perforated eardrums can share symptoms with middle ear infections or other ear damage, so it can be hard to tell them apart. If your eardrum ruptures, you may experience:
- Ear pain (that may stop suddenly)[2]
- Discharge or bleeding from the ear[3]
- Hearing loss[4]
- Ringing or buzzing in the ear[5]
- Nausea or vomiting[6]
- Dizziness, wobbliness, or vertigo[7]
- Seek emergency care if you experience excessive bleeding or total hearing loss, are in extreme pain, are abnormally dizzy, or have something stuck in your ear[8]
- Know when a ruptured eardrum is more likely. Injury or damage to the eardrum is typically caused by a sudden change in pressure, which can result from several different circumstances. The eardrum is more likely to be damaged or torn due to:[9]
- Fluid from a middle ear infection breaking the eardrum (this is more common in children, but can happen at any age)
- Small and/or blunt objects being inserted into the ear
- Rapid shifts in air pressure (for example, being on a plane)
- Exposure to extremely loud sounds, like explosions or concerts
- Injury to the ear, head, or neck
- See your doctor as soon as you can. Because a ruptured eardrum can cause permanent hearing loss in serious cases, it's vital to see your doctor if you suspect any kind of injury or damage to your ear. Tell your doctor:[10][11]
- The symptoms you're experiencing
- What happened leading up to the symptoms
- If you've had problems with your ears in the past, like recurring ear infections
- Whether you were sick
- If anything has been in your ear
- Anything you did to treat it
- Allow your doctor to examine your ear. Your doctor might check your ear themselves, or they may refer you to a specialist. They will look for any damage in the ear using an otoscope, and likely test your hearing to see if it's intact. If necessary, they may also check how your ear reacts to shifts in air pressure, and check any drainage for signs of infection.[12]
- Your doctor might have to clear out your ears to examine them, depending on whether there's drainage.[13]
- Recognize that most times, no intervention is needed. The majority of eardrum ruptures will heal on their own with minimal or no treatment. You may be prescribed antibiotics if there are signs of infection, but you likely won't need any interventions beyond protecting your ear as it heals.[14]
- Get surgical intervention in serious cases. Some ruptures can be serious or slow to heal and require medical intervention to heal properly. If your doctor determines your eardrum is severely damaged or is recovering too slowly, they may literally patch up your ear, or have you undergo surgery.[15]
- Your doctor might apply a patch to the eardrum to close the hole. This can sometimes be done in the doctor's office and doesn't require anesthesia, though it might take several patches to fully repair the damage.
- If surgery is required, it will be performed while you're under anesthesia. Most people can leave the hospital the same day.[16]
[Edit]Home Care - Stay home if needed. A ruptured eardrum alone typically won't prevent you from going to school or work, but if you have a fever, are in excessive pain, work in a high-intensity field, or are regularly exposed to loud noise, your doctor will likely recommend you stay home until you've recovered. Ask them whether or not it's best to stay home.
- If you had to have surgery on your ear, ask your doctor when it's safe to return to school or work.[17]
- Take any medication your doctor has prescribed. Perforated eardrums don't usually need medicinal treatment. However, if your ear shows any signs of infection, your doctor might prescribe you antibiotics to treat it. You'll likely be given either oral medication or antibiotic eardrops, though in some cases you might take both.[18]
- Be sure to take all the antibiotics as prescribed. Stopping the medication too early can cause the infection to come back.[19]
- Only use eardrops if your doctor prescribes them, as fluid in the ear can slow down the healing process.[20]
- Use heat to reduce pain. Warmth can help relieve the earache that can come with a ruptured eardrum. You can try holding a warm, dry piece of flannel or cloth against your ear.[21]
- Make sure the packs or compress is warm, not hot. You don't want to burn yourself.
- Avoid sleeping with your ear or face up against an electric heating pad, as this can result in burns.
- Take over-the-counter pain relievers. If heat isn't enough to soothe your ear, try taking NSAIDs like ibuprofen or acetaminophen (like Tylenol) to reduce the pain. If you're unable to take NSAIDs, ask your doctor for recommendations.[22]
- Only take one type of pain reliever at once. Don't combine them if your doctor hasn't recommended it.[23]
- Don't take more than the maximum recommended amount. If you have taken the maximum amount and are still in pain, see your doctor.
- Avoid putting pressure on an infected ear. An infection in your ear can hurt and cause pressure when you lay down, which isn't good for a ruptured eardrum. When you go to sleep, lay in a way that doesn't put your infected ear directly against the pillow. (For example, if your right ear is infected, sleep on your left side.)[24]
- Some back sleepers recommend using extra pillows to raise the height of your infected ear. While there isn't clear evidence to back this up, it doesn't hurt to try it.[25]
- Protect your ears from water. If water gets through the tear in the eardrum, you can develop an ear infection and slow the healing process. Take precautions to keep your ears dry and free of water.[26]
- Before you bathe, apply petroleum jelly to a cotton ball and put it in your ear to block water.
- If possible, take baths rather than showers—the water is less likely to accidentally trickle into your ears.
- Be gentle when washing your hair so nothing enters your ear.
- Don't go swimming or scuba diving until your doctor says it's okay.
- Keep things out of your ears. Anything placed in your ears—like earplugs, earbuds, cotton swabs, fingers, and so on—can introduce bacteria into the wound or worsen the tear. Avoid inserting anything into your ears, and try not to poke or prod at your ear, even if it's itchy or painful.[27]
- Over-the-ear headphones are technically safe. However, exposing your ears to loud noise can cause pain and permanent hearing damage. Skip the headphones where possible, and if they're truly necessary, keep the volume low.
- Do not attempt to clean your ears. If they feel plugged or are draining excessively, contact your doctor.
- Try to steer clear of blowing your nose. Blowing your nose puts pressure on your ears and can further injure the internal workings of your ear. While gently blowing your nose is less dangerous than using excessive strength, it's best avoided when possible.[28]
- Call your doctor if there's no improvement or the problem worsens. Perforated eardrums generally take up to 2 months to heal.[29] However, if your eardrum is healing extremely slowly or is showing signs of worsening, medical care is needed. Contact your doctor if:
- You notice signs of infection, like warmth, redness, pus, drainage, or a newly-developed fever[30]
- You feel a lot of pain or dizziness[31]
- Your hearing isn't improving, gets worse, or otherwise changes[32]
- You're still experiencing signs of eardrum rupture after 2 months[33]
- Younger children are more likely to get middle ear infections, so they're more at risk for a ruptured eardrum. However, adults can have them too.
- There's no way to guarantee that a middle ear infection won't break the eardrum. However, treating an infection early can reduce the risk of severe infections and perforation.[34]
- If your sinuses or ears are congested for any reason, try to avoid anything that requires changes in altitude, like flying or driving up into the mountains. The change in air pressure can put your ears at risk.[35]
- If you are regularly around loud noises, wear protective ear coverings to lessen the chance of hearing damage and eardrum ruptures.[36]
- You may have "watery" like sounds in your ear. This is discharge and is normal in ruptured eardrums.
[Edit]Related wikiHows [Edit]References |
| How to Fix an Emotionally Draining Relationship Posted: 21 Jun 2022 01:00 AM PDT When a relationship you care about is draining you emotionally, you might feel desperate to fix it. Maybe you spend every free moment worried about your partner or about when your next fight is due to erupt. After dealing with so much stress, it makes sense that you'd be looking for answers. We've outlined tons of tips that can help you improve your relationship's negative patterns. To learn how you can fix your emotionally draining relationship, read on. [Edit]Figure out the problem. - Relationships are defined by patterns, so it's important to identify them. Try to pinpoint when you started feeling drained so you can determine what caused it.[1] Set a time to speak to your partner in a place that feels safe for both of you. Express your feelings, observations, and worries clearly, without placing blame on either you or your significant other. Remember, they'll have their own ideas too, so be prepared to listen with patience and understanding.[2]
- Try to keep the discussion's focus on the relationship's themes, instead of getting into the back and forth of a specific fight.
- When you and your partner identify an ongoing issue together, make sure the solution you decide on works for both of you.
[Edit]Take care of you. - To bring your best self into the relationship, prioritize your needs. A draining relationship can steal your time and energy, so practice self-care to feel replenished. By making sure you feel your best, you'll be able to bring more patience, understanding, and effort into your relationship.[3]
- Prioritize getting enough sleep.
- Take time each week to enjoy the things you love to do.
- Try to take the time to plan healthy, balanced meals.
[Edit]Talk about your needs. - In a healthy relationship, both partners should get back what they give. In an emotionally draining relationship, though, you might be investing tons of effort without actually having your basic needs met.[4] Before either of you can take care of each other's needs, you need to communicate them with each other.
- Come up with a list of basic requirements that you need in order to be happy in the relationship.
- This may be loyalty, a certain level of physical affection, mutual independence, and maybe a bit of reassurance.
- Encourage your partner to come up with their own list.
- Share your lists with each other. Together, you can brainstorm how to meet each other's needs in an emotionally sustainable way.
- This way, the two of you are more likely to put in effort that has positive effects on the relationship.
[Edit]Make compromise a habit in your relationship. - At the end of the day, a draining relationship needs fixing on both sides. If during a fight, you're both only focused on your own individual interests, it's going to be really tough to get things resolved. When you're fighting or falling into a negative pattern, try to center your relationship's goals first. Encourage your partner to do the same.[5]
- If you're fighting about who will unload the dishwasher, don't think of your interests as competing.
- One of you might insist that their day was more tiring, and so they shouldn't have to. The other might say that they did it last time, so they shouldn't have to.
- Combine your interests and focus on compromise. For instance, you could say, "The dishwasher needs to be unloaded regardless. I get you're tired, so I'll do it. But next time, I'd like you to, so we're sharing an equal load."
[Edit]Make sure you're working on the same issues. - Communication is the key to fixing tough relationships. When the two of you really want to be great for each other, sometimes the only actual barrier to that goal is the misunderstanding of needs and expectations. To start a conversation about both partners' perceptions of your relationship, try this exercise below.[6]
- Consider six core parts of your relationship: communication, connection, investment, enjoyment, growth, trust.
- You and your partner should take time to reflect. Then, assign each category a score, 1-10, depending on how well your relationship does in that area.
- Use your scores' similarities and differences to start a conversation about your relationship's strengths and weaknesses.
- Commit to working on one area of weakness each week and check in on how you both feel you did.
[Edit]Learn about attachment styles. - Mismatched attachment styles can cause emotional drain. Attachment styles can be secure, anxious, or avoidant. Combinations of two of the three styles exist as well, though they're uncommon. A person's attachment style comes from their experiences early in life, but they can be altered with therapy and hard work.[7]
- Secure attachment style refers to an individual's ability to feel connected to partners, secure in those connections, and still capable of independence.
- Anxious attachment styles indicate a person's insecurity and emotional hunger in relationships. They can become clingy, demanding, or possessive.
- Avoidant attachment styles refer to a fear of closeness with their partners. They ignore relationships' significance, shut down emotionally, and avoid intimacy.
- Other combinations exist, and you can identify your style through online quizzes, research, and reflection.
- Attachment styles can be excellent tools to talk about patterns in your relationship. They can also help you reflect on your own needs.
[Edit]Defuse fights when you can. - If you can avoid big arguments, you both save emotional energy. Constant spats don't need to be the end of the world, but if you can't find a way to de-escalate your arguments, that could cause major emotional drain. If every little disagreement ends up being a giant, hurtful argument, both of you will end up feeling deflated. Try out these helpful tips and tricks below to defuse your fights.[8]
- Use humor. When a fight pops up, try using a little silliness to keep things light.
- For example, if you do an impression that makes your partner laugh, respond to a question in that voice.
- Try touching. Go in for a hug, reach for your partner's hand, or throw an arm around their shoulder.
- Take a break. If you feel things escalating, spend a minute cooling off in separate rooms. Even just a quick pause can make a huge different!
[Edit]Admit when you're in the wrong. - When you fight, owning up to your actions can defuse the situation. Sometimes, when you and your partner are in the thick of an argument, the last thing you'll want to do is admit you were wrong. In that moment, it may feel more like admitting defeat. But in reality, to end your fight (and emotional drain) in a healthy way, letting your guard down is the key.[9]
- First, tell your partner that you understand what you did to hurt them.
- Next, let your partner know that you are sympathetic to how they feel.
- The more fights that you can end quickly and positively, the less emotional drain you and your partner will feel.
[Edit]Keep complaints on the backburner. - Too much complaining can harm an otherwise healthy relationship. It's great to know your partner can rely on you as a sounding board, but too much negativity can leave one of you feeling drained and the other, unheard. When complaints from one partner wear out the patience, energy, or attention span on the other, the listening ear can end up feeling totally emotionally burnt out.[10]
- If you tend to be the complainer, try screening some of your worries out. Ask yourself if you need support, or if you're complaining to complain.
- If you really need help, you should be able to share with your partner. If not, find a positive spin to your comment instead.
- If you're the listening ear, try to be there when you sense that your partner really needs it.
- On the other hand, don't make a big deal out of every little complaint. Offer a simple, supportive remark without opening up an entire discussion.
[Edit]Reach out to loved ones. - Support systems help people feel supported and stay positive. When your relationship is draining your emotional reserves, leaning on the people who love you can help you feel understood and uplifted.[11]
- Reach out to a parent, sibling, cousin, or friend, and offer to buy them a cup of coffee and chat things out.
- Pick someone who makes you feel heard.
[Edit]Give counseling a try. - A professional can help you navigate your relationship's issues. It's never a bad idea to get an expert's opinion if you're struggling in your relationship.[12] Reach out to your primary care doctor to get a referral for a great therapist in your area or try asking friends and family for a recommendation. It may be helpful to interview different therapists before you settle on one.[13]
- Remember, if you'd prefer it, you can go to see a professional on your own instead.
- Similarly, keep in mind that your partner may end up wanting to attend therapy longer than you will. This is totally normal!
[Edit]Spend time away. - By taking a break from the relationship, you and your partner can find time to reflect. When you're with someone, working towards improving your relationship, and constantly answering to your partner's needs, it can be really hard to get a good sense of whether or not the relationship is working.[14] By stepping away from your relationship, the two of you can decide whether or not you're happier and healthier on your own.[15]
- Set clear expectations and boundaries before the break begins. No one should be getting hurt over a miscommunication.
- Know that taking a break can be a bit of a risk. There's always a chance that you or your partner will gain clarity during a break that leads to a breakup.
- However, sometimes the relationship just isn't working. Make sure you spend your break genuinely reflecting on your needs, desires, and relationship's patterns.
- Trust that if you come back together, your relationship will have a healthier, more secure foundation to build from.
[Edit]Ask yourself whether or not it's worth it. - Even without a break, you can ask yourself questions to gain clarity. No relationship is going to be without issues, and you should make sure your evaluation reflects that. But at the same time, you should always ensure that your relationship is, overall, a source of more positives than negatives in your life.[16] Try to kick off your reflection using some of these questions below.[17]
- Do you feel both of you care enough about the relationship working out?
- Are you flexible with each other and within reasonable expectations, willing to change for each other?
- Are you typically able to resolve disagreements in a friendly way?
- Does the time you spend together add or detract from your happiness?
[Edit]References |
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