segunda-feira, 10 de dezembro de 2018


How to Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic

Posted: 09 Dec 2018 04:00 PM PST

When holiday seasons or big family events are coming up, there are inevitably family gatherings, which can be especially hard for autistic people. With the broken routine comes a flurry of overly affectionate family members, and situations and places that you may have had minimal experience with. A family gathering can be hard, but they're more easily manageable if you find ways to accommodate yourself and lessen the stress of the environment.

EditSteps

EditPreparing for Attending

  1. Get information about the gathering. Once you find out that there's a family gathering going on, finding out the details about it will help you plan ahead for the next steps. Try to get as much basic information as possible, so that there will be minimal surprises when the gathering rolls around. It can also address any anxieties or concerns you may have. A good list of things to find out are:[1]
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 1.jpg
    • What's the gathering for?
    • Where will the gathering take place?
    • Who will be attending?
    • How long will it last? (Keep in mind that if the gathering is far away, you may end up having to stay somewhere overnight.)
    • Are you required to bring anything (food, gifts, etc.)?
    • Do you need to dress formally?
    • What will be some expectations? For instance, it may be expected to have polite conversation, or join in a family meal, take formal photos, and so on.
    • Will there be opportunity for breaks? If so, when and how will you know? Family gatherings can be a lot of sensory overload, and a drain. Having opportunities to take a break and take a walk, play with a pet, or some alone time may be available.
    • Are there any animals at the host's house?
  2. Assess the biggest problem you'll most likely have with the gathering. Everybody is different, and a hyposensitive person will have different challenges than a hypersensitive person. Analyzing what your biggest challenge will be is important, since it'll help you to find ways to handle the gathering and its events.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 2.jpg
    • For example, if you prefer to communicate nonverbally, but you think that your family members will find it hard to understand what you need, you can solve that problem by considering AAC to find a way of making yourself understood. Or, if you think you'll have trouble with not having flavorful enough food, ask if it's possible for the hosts to set out spices that people can choose to add to their meals.
    • Noisy family members can be a drain on some autistic people. If your family members know that you're autistic, consider asking them if they mind if you wear earplugs. If they don't know you're autistic or they aren't okay with that, you'll need to find another way of coping with the noise, which can be anything from stimming to taking a break from the situation.
    • Not everything goes according to plan all the time. Things can happen that you may not be prepared for. Do not spend your time trying to come up with every situation imaginable - you'll stress yourself out "what-if"ing. Instead, come up with the likely scenarios, as well as a few "unlikely, but still possible" ones.
    • Have others help. Sometimes you may need to have people who know you well to help intervene. There is nothing wrong with this. You may well be among people who may love you, but not fully understand you or your needs. Having a trusted person able to help advocate for you, navigate the social scene and come up with creative solutions is a great idea.
  3. Plan some conversation topics. It's normal for people to catch up with each other during a gathering, so you may be telling them about what you've been up to, and you can ask them about what they're doing.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 3.jpg
    • Think of a few different things that have happened to you lately that you'd like to talk about.
    • Remember their interests. It is expected to strike up conversations at a family gathering, so if this is something you can do, be prepared for this expectation. It does not have to be long or involved, but a polite conversation will go a long way.
    • For example, if you remember that Cousin Jenny loves chemistry and Uncle Phil likes fishing, you can ask them questions about these topics.
    • Think of questions you can ask, like "How was your summer?" or "What have you been up to lately?"
    • Be aware that you may be asked to answer questions about your interests and activities.
    • Autistic individuals often have very deep focuses on certain topics. Be aware that you will likely need to keep your conversation about these to a manageable level with people who are not so interested. You may be lucky if there is a cousin who loves going on for hours and hours about your favorite Pokémon, but it's likely to be boring - or even annoying - for everyone else.
  4. Create a timetable of events. A good way of preparing yourself for the gathering is to create a timetable or a "schedule" of what will happen during the gathering.[2][3] By visualizing what will happen and preparing yourself for the course of events, the break in routine won't seem as daunting anymore, since you'll know what will happen and can prepare yourself adequately for it.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 4.jpg
    • Try following the timetable prior to the gathering, even if you can't make your surroundings emulate the actual gathering. This will help you adjust and make the break in routine a little less jarring.
    • Understand that plans can change, and in social situations things are sometimes in flux. These timetables are subject to change. Unexpected problems like bad weather can change when travel happens, for instance. Or some people decide spontaneously to go for a walk.
  5. Think about where you can go if you need a break. Since a family gathering can get loud and possibly overwhelming at times, having a quiet place to go is a necessity. Oftentimes, places like bedrooms are off-limits during family gatherings, but bathrooms are accessible, and small out-of-the-way areas like unoccupied hallways (or even closets) can serve as a quiet place for you to go if you need to get away from the chaos.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 5.jpg
    • If you don't know the setup of the gathering's location, try to get other family members to map out the place, if possible.
    • Contacting the host beforehand (described in-detail in a later step) can make it easier to find a place to go.
  6. Talk to other family members. You might not know much about the family gathering or where it's being held, be anxious about going, or have concerns about other aspects of the trip, such as travel or dealing with annoying family members. Communicating with other family members about the gathering and its upcoming events can ease your mind a bit, and allow you to ask for advice, if you need any.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 6.jpg
    • If you have other autistic family members, talk with them, too. See if they have suggestions or knowledge that would help you to handle the gathering. Just be aware that every autistic person is different, so what works for them may not work for you.
  7. Know what coping mechanisms you can use. You can't hide in another room for the entire gathering; otherwise, there'd be little point in even going to the gathering. Using coping mechanisms is one of the strategies that will allow you to tolerate the gathering. If you've developed a collection of stims and other coping mechanisms, great! If not, try looking online for advice from other autistics on how to cope, using sites such as RealSocialSkills.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 7.jpg
    • Common coping mechanisms for neurotypicals involve deep breathing, meditating, journaling in a quiet area, or focusing on something specific (such as a certain type of sensory input). You can try combining these with coping mechanisms that you know work for you (such as rocking in a rocking chair or deeply focusing on a special interest).
    • Can you bring things that will block out sensory input? (For example, bringing earplugs or a pair of noise-canceling headphones to block out noise, or taking sunglasses to block out light.)
    • Can you stim? If so, what stims will be appropriate for the time and area?
    • Can you bring food that you know won't trigger sensory issues? (If you can't bring it, see if it's possible to make it at the gathering location.)
  8. Pick out gifts, if necessary. Gift giving follows an elaborate, confusing protocol that is problematic for many autistics. However, many family gatherings include this ritual. If you find yourself in doubt about what a family member would like, try getting them something you know they'd need (like a new blanket if you know their old one is tattered) or something that allows them to pick their gift themselves, like a gift card.[4] For example, you could give them things like winter clothing or gift cards, or things that they've specifically requested as gifts, as long as you can afford them.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 8.jpg
    • Focus less on giving "age-appropriate" gifts, and more on what the person would actually enjoy.[5] Things like stuffed animals and games may not seem "age-appropriate" for an adult, but if you know that an older family member likes those things, it's perfectly fine to give it to them.
      • That being said, avoid giving a young family member something that's outright inappropriate (for example, containing profanity, sexual content, or other questionable material).
      • Also, "age appropriate" is still a good guideline. What is appropriate for your 5 year old cousin and your grandfather will probably be quite different.
    • You don't need to spend all of your money on someone; if they want something that you really can't afford, you don't need to feel obligated to buy it for them.
    • "Going in" with one or more other gift givers can be a great tactic. Pooling your money to buy a more expensive gift also takes some of the responsibility to pick out a gift off you.
  9. Try to contact the host of the gathering. Communicating with the host can make it easier to handle the gathering if they know what you may need beforehand. Explain to them your needs, and try to compromise on accommodations that could be made for you. You might be surprised with how willing they are to make sure that you can enjoy the gathering!
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 9.jpg
    • If this accommodation could help other family members, too, then consider extending it to them as well. For example, you could ask the host, "Would it be possible for us to set aside an area that people could go when they want some quiet?", or "Can I bring cornbread for everyone at the meal?" If you don't think you'll be able to handle extending your accommodations to others, though, don't ask.
    • Disclosing whether or not you're autistic is a personal choice, if they aren't already aware. If you're worried about your disability being misunderstood, you can choose to describe your autistic traits without ever saying that you're autistic.
    • If there will be gift exchanges at the gathering and you'll be receiving gifts, tell them something that you'd like as a gift, too. This will make it less likely that you end up with a gift that you dislike or can't tolerate.

EditGoing on the Trip

A long trip to the family gathering can be just as draining as the gathering itself. Having ways to make the trip manageable is important.

  1. Prepare beforehand. Rushing to get everything done right before the trip is a bad idea for multiple reasons - you're likely to forget things, get overwhelmed by how hectic it is, and end up miserable on the actual trip. Create a schedule for what you need to do and when you need to get it done, and try to accomplish things at early as possible. If it's done early, you don't have to worry about it afterwards.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 10.jpg
    • Establish and confirm transport plans, lodging plans, finances and budgets, and any plans for meeting up with family as soon as possible. Be sure to also arrange plans for things going on at home, if necessary (for example, if you have pets, who will take care of your pets while you're away), and plans for the trip back home.
    • If you need luggage, pack it at least two days before the trip. If you rush packing on the day of the trip, you're very likely to forget something important.
  2. Wear comfortable clothing. Many neurotypicals dress for comfort when going on longer trips, and as an autistic person, this is even more important to reduce the risk of sensory overload. Pick out and wear soft clothing that you know you'd be comfortable in for extended periods of time, such as cotton clothes, hoodies, or possibly sweatpants. Avoid stiff, formal clothing.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 11.jpg
    • Take the trip as an excuse to kick off your shoes. If shoes are uncomfortable, well, you'll be sitting in a car or plane, right? You don't need to wear them if you're not walking around!
    • If you have sensory problems that cause clothing to be uncomfortable, avoid clothing that will cause you distress, even if the trip is short. Avoid clothing with tags, clothes that rumple, or clothes made of any material that you don't like.[6]
  3. Have things to occupy yourself during the trip. If you're a passenger on a trip to the gathering, you likely don't want to be staring out the window of a car or plane for the entire ride. Having options that don't involve talking to others are important, especially if social interaction will wear you down quickly.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 12.jpg
    • You can bring things like novels, coloring books, puzzle books (such as Sudoku), or electronics to keep yourself busy. Keep these, as well as stim toys, easily accessible.
    • If you're taking a laptop, phone, or tablet, you can download videos or games onto it beforehand. Start downloading them early in case the download takes awhile. Be sure to charge these devices, too.
    • Bring snacks and drinks for a long trip.
  4. Keep sensory needs in mind. Most trips require sitting in a moving vehicle of some sort for extended periods of time, which can have its drawbacks on both hypersensitive and hyposensitive autistic people - a hypersensitive person may become motion sick, while a hyposensitive person may not have enough stimulation and start getting bored. Find ways to accommodate your sensory needs so that the trip can be less of a struggle for you.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 13.jpg
    • If you're hypersensitive, find ways to avoid carsickness or airsickness, and ways to keep yourself from getting dizzy during the trip. Bring earplugs or headphones if going on a plane trip to block out the sound of the plane's engines - or if you're just going on a trip with potentially noisy passengers.
    • If you're hyposensitive, bring things that will fulfill your sensory needs, which can be anything from stim toys to electronics.
    • Be respectful of other passengers. Wear headphones when listening to music or other sounds, don't bring bright or flashing devices, and avoid humming loudly or stimming in ways that invades their personal space. And respect their space - don't reach into someone's personal space, and don't kick someone's seat!
  5. Try to avoid driving. Driving requires a lot of focus on several different things at once, and it can be very draining, especially if you'll be driving for several hours. While driving may not be completely avoidable, if somebody else can drive, ask them to do so, in order to save your energy for the gathering.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 14.jpg
    • If you do have to drive, take breaks when you need them to avoid overloading yourself or getting tired in the car.
  6. Plan accordingly for air travel. Plane rides are noisy and can be quite stressful, which makes it important to take steps to negate the stressors. Wearing headphones during the plane ride can work if you're sensitive to noise,[7] but there's more to air travel than just the flight; you'll need to prepare yourself for getting through the airport (which can be quite hectic during holiday seasons) and for wait times, as well as the new sensory input. Keeping your sensory needs regulated and stimming is crucial to getting through the airport, but there are ways to make screening easier, too.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 15.jpg
    • Consider wearing a medical bracelet or ID so that you don't need to explain everything to security officers, and script a quick explanation such as, "I'm autistic and need to be told before somebody touches me".
    • If you alert the security officers at the TSA that you're autistic/disabled, you can discuss with them ways to make the screening process easier, and you will not be separated from anyone that you may be traveling with.[8] You can also use the special needs line.
    • If you're part of TSA Pre-Check, you will have access to a shorter line, and you will also not be required to remove your shoes, belts, or light jackets, nor laptops or liquids, from you or your bag.[9] (However, it can take some time to be able to get access to Pre-Check lines.)
    • Prepare yourself for the possibility of additional screening. People are randomly selected for additional screening, and there's a possibility that you may get picked out to undergo the screening. It's important to communicate your needs to TSA staff so that they know and can do what they can to help you through the screening process.
    • Prepare for the time you'll need to spend at the airport, too, especially if you'll need to deal with long layovers. Delays at the airport are also common; be sure to have things to occupy yourself in the case of a delay.
  7. Make sure you'll be able to eat. If you get hungry, you may get stressed and more prone to sensory overload, shutdowns, and meltdowns. Ensure that you'll have time to eat while travelling. It may help to pack some snacks in case you can't get to a restaurant when you're hungry.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 16.jpg
  8. Leave early. You don't want to be rushing to get to the gathering in time; this is likely to stress you out and will give you no time to unwind from the trip afterwards. Leaving early allows you to take more time to get there, and is actually recommended for plane trips since airport security can take quite some time. Allocating extra time for breaks during the trip is only possible if you have the time!
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 17.jpg

EditAttending the Gathering

  1. Relax as much as you can on the evening and morning before the gathering. This will help you be at your best later on. Try taking a warm shower or bath, engaging your special interests, reading a good book, swinging and doing other sensory-friendly activities, and doing other things that you enjoy. Pamper yourself, rest, and have some fun, so that you feel relaxed and positive.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 18.jpg
  2. Choose clothing that you're comfortable in within appropriate boundaries. The typical "fancy" or "dressy" attire that's common at many holiday gatherings can cause a lot of distress for autistic people with sensory issues.[10] However, many families prefer that people dress "nicely" for family gatherings, which can make clothing choices difficult. If you can talk to the host ahead of time about attire, do so; if not, pick out clothing that you can wear comfortably.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 19.jpg
    • Don't wear clothes with stains or rips, or clothing that's dirty. It's generally not considered socially acceptable.
    • Check with your host on what would be appropriate. Formal clothing may not always be necessary. Some families may open Christmas presents in pajamas, so it is OK to wear flannel pants. The wedding host may be happy to have you dress in clean informal clothing.
    • If you've bought clothes in the past that look like dress clothes but are comfortable, too, now's a great time to wear them. Just don't sacrifice your comfort for the sake of the gathering.
    • If what you're wearing is both comfortable and looks nice, that's great! But if you can't wear fancy clothing and be comfortable at the same time, don't force yourself to wear it.
    • Some families want to take family group photos and have everyone looking nice in those photos. If your family gathering involves that, then bring (or even borrow) a nice outfit, wear it for the photo, and change back into your normal clothes.[11]
    • Don't think that it's "just a few hours" - those "few hours" in uncomfortable or painful clothing can make the family gathering much harder to manage.[12]
  3. Arrive early. If the family gathering is not being hosted where you live, do your best to arrive early to the gathering. By arriving early, you allow yourself time to orient yourself with the house, find a quiet area that you could use to take breaks, and talk with the host without struggling to hear them over the noise (or interruptions from other family members!).[13]
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 20.jpg
  4. Talk with the host, if necessary. If you haven't talked with the host before arriving at the gathering (or even if you have), now is the time to talk to them. After greeting them, try to ask them about anything you may need - whether it's about where the quiet spot in the house is, or where you should put the bread rolls or gifts that you brought for the gathering. Get the important questions out of the way first, so that you don't end up needing to ask at a point where you're overwhelmed and losing your verbal ability.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 21.jpg
  5. Make your boundaries clear. Family gatherings are often a place where family members want to hug and tell you how much they missed you, or dive into potentially controversial or upsetting topics. It's an important time to set boundaries and make sure that others know what you're okay with and not okay with. Make it clear to others what you're not comfortable with, and stick to it.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 22.jpg
    • If you don't want to be touched, make that clear, even at the expense of hurting someone's feelings. It's okay for anyone to not want to be touched.
    • Redirect conversations you're not comfortable with. If your family members start talking about politics or religion, for example, and you aren't comfortable with that subject, say, "I'm not comfortable with talking about that. Can we talk about something else?", and change the subject.[14]
  6. Stim as much as you need to. You shouldn't be afraid of looking a little different in order to cope with the gathering. Use the stims you need in order to be able to handle the gathering. It's better to look a little odd than to end up having a meltdown or shutdown.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 23.jpg
    • That being said, avoid extremely loud stims or stims that would be destructive (such as ripping things or knocking your head on the wall). Use stims that won't hurt anyone or anything.
    • If you're concerned about looking strange, or if your family doesn't know you're autistic, you can try stimming discreetly.
    • Buying or making a small stim toy before the gathering can be a great choice if you need a small toy for your hands to fiddle with.
  7. Take breaks when you need them. With the sheer amounts of people and new input and information, you may find yourself getting worn out and needing to step away from the situation. That's okay. If you need to take a break, some things you can do are:[15]
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 24.jpg
    • Help out in the kitchen. Some autistic people find that repetitive tasks such as cleaning dishes or preparing food can give them a break from the gathering.[16]
    • Go to your quiet area. Make sure that people know not to bother you while you're in this area. If you can't use your quiet area, it's not an optimal situation, but you can go into a bathroom and lock the door - just be aware that some people may come knocking and asking if you're okay if you stay in there for extended periods.
    • Stay in less occupied areas of the room. If you're unable to leave, duck into the quieter areas of the room and stay there. Oftentimes, the sides of rooms will be less occupied, and it's not considered strange to sit or stand away from the crowds when there's a lot going on.
    • Ask the host if there's something you can do or somewhere you can go. Some neurotypical people can get tired easily by crowds, especially if they're introverts, so chances are, they'll be understanding if you say that you want some quiet.
  8. Ask questions about the other people. People love to talk about themselves, and you may find it easier if they do most of the talking. Find out what they like, and get them talking about it.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 25.jpg
  9. Prepare yourself for mealtimes. Food can be a problem for some autistic people, and with so many people talking at the table, it's easy to become overwhelmed. If you anticipate potential trouble with the mealtime, find ways to minimize the risks and making the meal enjoyable.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 26.jpg
    • Try to sit at a quieter spot at the table, if possible, to minimize the auditory feedback that you're hearing all at once. If you're sensitive to smell, ask that foods with strong odors be placed away from you, too.
    • Consider establishing a "game" of sorts with conversation to avoid being overloaded with too much conversation. For example, there can be a typical "What are you thankful for?" discussion at Thanksgiving, or everyone gets 60 seconds to bring up a subject that they find particularly interesting.[17]
    • Eat what you know you can eat. Many autistic people are finicky about their food, which can be caused by anything from sensory sensitivity to not wanting to break from a meal routine.[18][19] Choose foods that you know that you like and can eat without problems.
    • Consider helping make the food, if possible. Some autistic people find that if they've helped to prepare a food, it makes it easier to try it.[20]
    • Bringing large servings of food to the gathering can be useful for mealtimes; it not only ensures that you have food to eat, but it gives others food, too.[21]
  10. Exchange gifts. The holiday season is a common time for people to give and receive gifts, especially around religious holidays such as Christmas or Hanukkah. If giving gifts is part of this family gathering, prepare yourself for noise and excitement, particularly if there are young children around. Ask the attendees of the gathering if they can agree to open one gift at a time, rather than having multiple people open several gifts at once, to lessen some of the chaos. If they hesitate, point out to them that if everyone opens only one gift at a time, everyone can see what the other person has received. And remember, use your coping mechanisms, and take breaks if you need them.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 27.jpg
    • If you receive a gift and don't like it, do not say that you don't like it - doing so is considered rude and may hurt the giver's feelings. Smile and say "Thank you".
    • Some well-meaning family members may give gifts that you're unable to handle for whatever reason, whether it causes sensory issues or it's something that frightens you. If this happens, thank them, but put it back in its box. Don't feel obligated to use it.
    • Be prepared - even if you haven't received a noisy, flashy, or otherwise overwhelming gift, another family member may end up receiving one. If they do, ask them politely to not use it while you're there, or to take it into another room. For example: "That toy is really cool, Tessa, but it's pretty noisy. Do you think you could play with it in the living room instead?"
  11. See if you can spend time with the family. Oftentimes, families like to spend time talking with each other and communicating about what's been going on in their lives, and younger children may play with each other (or with older adults). If you think you're capable of handling the family time and all the chatter, try to join in with some conversation and socialize with people. You can talk about many things, from school or work, to that weird news story you read the other day about those feuding neighbors. Be sure to listen to the person (or people) that you're talking to, and give them chances to speak, as well.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 28.jpg
    • Subjects such as religion, politics, and medical afflictions are generally not things to bring up at a gathering.[22] Avoid bringing up these topics yourself; stick with more lighthearted subjects such as vacations, things that are on TV like sports and shows, and asking about family members who aren't at the gathering (such as "How's your husband?").[23] If someone tries to bring up a controversial topic and seems like they want to fight about it, change the subject by either telling them that you don't want to discuss the topic, or starting a conversation with someone about a different topic.[24]
    • Some autistic people find it hard to relate to their peers. You may find it easier to spend time with family members who aren't in your same age range.
    • If you want to make conversation but aren't totally sure how to do so, you may want to learn about a few ways to start a conversation with nothing to talk about.
  12. Don't push yourself. You don't need to overwhelm yourself into a meltdown or shutdown just because it's a family gathering. Take breaks when you need them, enforce your boundaries, and if you feel as though you're going to melt down, get somewhere quiet and stay there for as long as you need. The family gathering is not as important as your health and well-being.
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 29.jpg
    • If you need to leave early and can do so, then do so. Don't force yourself to stay somewhere that's overwhelming you.
  13. "Wind down" after the gathering. Chances are, no matter how well you've handled the gathering, you're probably going to be tired afterwards. Take some time for yourself when you get the chance and do something you enjoy. Engage in anything involving your special interest, do a relaxing activity, and reward yourself with a treat. You attended a family gathering, after all!
    Attend Family Gatherings When You Are Autistic Step 30.jpg

EditTips

  • The earlier you can discuss accommodations with the host, the better.
  • If you really feel like you're unable to handle the gathering, you can consider not going at all. Keep in mind, though, that if you live with your parents or guardians, they may make you go anyway, which requires you to have coping skills available.
  • If the gathering is being hosted at your house, establish that your room is a "no-entry zone" and that it's specifically for you to go when you need it.
  • Autistic people who have a driver's license and a car can consider using the car when they get overwhelmed. Going for a short drive can be a useful way of getting away from the noise, especially since you can go out to a store to buy something, and not confuse your family members with your seemingly random car ride.

EditWarnings

  • Not everyone is understanding of autism. You may need to be cautious of who you tell that you're autistic, or explain your needs without directly saying that you're autistic.
  • Being family is not an excuse to mock, bully, or belittle you. If a family member is intentionally upsetting you by doing things they know you don't like, such as triggering your sensory sensitivities, tell them firmly that they need to stop.

EditRelated wikiHows

EditSources and Citations

  • Note: Some of these sources are directed at parents of autistic children. However, the advice can still be construed towards autistic teens and adults.



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How to String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree

Posted: 09 Dec 2018 08:00 AM PST

When it comes to holiday decorations, it's difficult to get more traditional than festive popcorn garlands on your Christmas tree. Making them is also an easy, budget-friendly way to get in the yuletide spirit -- and it's fun for the entire family! Children will especially delight in helping string the popcorn so pop plenty-- some for the tree, and some for the decorating team.

EditSteps

EditMaking the Popcorn

  1. Pop your corn. While you can pop it using any method you prefer, it's easier to work with unsalted, unbuttered popcorn, so an air popper usually works best. If you don't have one, you can also pop your corn in a pan or skillet on your stove top or put kernels into paper bag semi-closed in the microwave or 2:30 minutes . [1]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 1 Version 3.jpg
    • To figure out how much popcorn you'll need for your garland, keep in mind that 1 cup typically covers 3 to 4 feet of thread.
    • If you pop the corn in pan, you'll need to add a little oil to the bottom to help the corn cook. To prevent it from becoming soggy, place the corn on a paper towel-lined plate or dish when you remove it from the pan, so some of the oil will be absorbed.
    • When you're in a hurry, you can use microwave popcorn or a pre-popped bag. Just make sure that it has no salt or butter.
  2. Inspect your popcorn. After it's cooled off, go through the kernels to find the best candidates for the garland. You'll obviously want to eliminate any burnt pieces, but you may decide to remove broken or misshapen kernels from the batch as well. The best popcorn for garland has a full, almost flower-like shape. Set all of the best pieces of popcorn in a bowl so it's easier to work when you start to string the garland.[2]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 2 Version 3.jpg
  3. Let it sit. Freshly popped corn can break easily, so it's usually too fragile to thread. If you allow it to sit out for a day or two, it becomes less brittle, making it easier to string your garland.[3]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 3 Version 3.jpg
    • For a more festive look, you may want to color your popcorn after it's sat for a couple of days. Powdered food coloring works well to give the kernels a bright tint of color. You can go with the traditional Christmas colors, red and green, or custom color the popcorn to match the theme of your tree.[4]

EditStringing the Garland

  1. Choose your thread. You can use any sturdy thread that you like, but some work better than others. Heavy embroidery floss is a good choice because it's strong and comes in a variety of colors. However, you can also use clear fishing line, which is even stronger and won't show up if there are any gaps in the garland.[5]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 4 Version 3.jpg
    • If you don't have any thread or fishing line on hand, you can even use dental floss to string your popcorn. In fact, using a waxed variety can make the task even easier because the kernels will easily slide along the floss.[6]
    • If you're using thread for your garland, consider using red, green, or a shade that matches the decorating scheme for the rest of the tree in case it shows in any gaps between the popcorn.
  2. Cut the thread. If you're making a garland longer than 5 feet, it's best to leave the thread attached to the spool so it's easier to work with. However, cutting the thread in lengths of 5 feet or less makes them more manageable, and you can always connect them later by tying the ends together for longer garlands.[7]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 5 Version 2.jpg
  3. Thread the needle. Thin needles typically work best when you're making a popcorn garland. Choose one with a large eye too, so it's easier thread. Make sure to tie a knot at the end of the thread to ensure the kernels don't fall off when you begin to string them.[8]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 6 Version 2.jpg
  4. String the popcorn. You'll want to push the needle directly through the center of the kernel and pull it through to the end of the thread. Continue adding popcorn until the garland is full. There shouldn't be any gaps between the pieces of popcorn, so push the kernels all the way down to keep them tightly strung on the thread as you go.[9]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • Get creative with your garlands by mixing the popcorn with other items, such as fresh cranberries, dried orange, lemon, or lime slices, and cinnamon sticks. You can create striking patterns by alternating the other items with the popcorn. Fresh cranberries start to go bad after a couple of days, though, so you'll want to spray the garland with shellac before putting it on the tree.[10]
    • You can also dress up your garland by dotting the popcorn kernels with craft glue and sprinkling colorful glitter across them. Allow the glue to dry fully before placing the popcorn string on your tree.[11]
  5. Secure the finished garland. You'll need to leave enough thread at the other end of the string so you can tie another knot to keep the popcorn in place.[12]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • If you plan to connect several shorter garlands, make sure that there is enough thread at the end of each so you can tie them together.
    • If you're making a long garland and left the thread attached to the spool, you'll need to cut it when you finish the string. Then just tie off the end with a knot as you would with a shorter garland to secure it.

EditDecorating the Christmas Tree

  1. Add the garland after the tree's lights. While your popcorn garland might seem like the finishing touch to your Christmas tree, it's actually easier to hang it when there aren't ornaments in the way. You should add your lights before the garland, though.[13]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 9 Version 2.jpg
  2. Place the garland on the tree. The best way to hang popcorn strings on your tree is to softly drape them over the branches rather than firmly stuffing them in gaps. Start at the top and carefully work your way down.[14]
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 10 Version 2.jpg
    • For a formal look, make sure to drape your popcorn strings in even, uniform loops.
    • For a more casual look, allow the popcorn strings to drape unevenly.
    • If you want your popcorn garland to stand out on your tree, consider doubling up the strings and draping them together over the branches.
  3. Add ornaments. Once the popcorn strings are in place, you can hang your ornaments on the tree. However, you should take care when placing them among the garlands because you don't want any large, heavy ornaments to rest on the popcorn and possibly break it.
    String Popcorn on a Christmas Tree Step 11 Version 2.jpg

EditVideo

EditTips

  • It takes some time to string a nice long garland, but it can be saved and used for future holidays. Place it in a plastic bin with a lid that seals, taking care to gently coil the popcorn garland between layers of tissue paper. Choose a dry, cool location where you don't have to worry about mice or other animals for storage.
  • If you don't plan to keep your garland, hang it outside after the holidays for birds to enjoy. However, if you've added fruit and applied shellac to keep it fresh, you'll have to throw it away because the chemicals may harm the birds.
  • Popcorn strings don't just make great decorations for your Christmas tree. Hang them in other areas of your home where you want to add some holiday cheer, such as the fireplace, doorway, or banister.

EditWarnings

  • Don't try to eat the popcorn after it has been used for decoration. Your Christmas tree may have dirt, insects, or other debris on it that you don't want to be eating.
  • Needles are sharp and the popcorn kernels can be very hard. You may poke your fingers a few times, so it helps to wear a rubber thimble to protect your skin.
  • If they're helping with the project, watch children with the needle too. You may need more than one thimble on hand.
  • Popcorn garlands are usually not a good idea if you have pets, such as dogs and cats. The animals may be tempted by the popcorn, and wind up destroying your tree to get it.

EditThings You'll Need

  • Popped popcorn
  • Medium size needle
  • Thread
  • Scissors
  • Bowl
  • Rubber thimble

EditRelated wikiHows

EditSources and Citations



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How to Paint Stripes on a Wall

Posted: 09 Dec 2018 12:00 AM PST

Painting stripes on your wall is a great way to change up a room without doing expensive remodeling. Stripes look wonderful on an accent wall in a large room, or they can cover all of the walls in a small room, like a bathroom. When you're deciding where and how to paint stripes, you should pick between horizontal or vertical stripes, and then you can mark the design on the wall with tape and begin painting!

EditSteps

EditPicking a Design and Base Color

  1. Choose between horizontal or vertical stripes. Look around your room and decide where you'd like to paint the stripes. If you want the room too look longer or wider, opt for horizontal stripes. To make your ceilings look taller, go for vertical stripes that reach the top of the wall. If there are fixtures on the wall, like lights or windows, remember that they will interrupt the stripes and can lessen the visual effect.[1]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • Don't be afraid to get creative when it comes to picking a pattern. You can even do diagonal stripes for an interesting and eye-catching design. You can also go out of the box with a chevron design or stripes of varying widths.
  2. Pick 2-3 coordinating colors for the stripes. Once you decide on a design, choose a color scheme for the stripes. Opt for monochromatic warm tones, like red, orange, yellow, brown, cream, or tan, for an inviting and cozy space. If you want to make a bolder statement, go for cool, contrasting shades, like blue, purple, black, white, or silver.[2]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • If you're having trouble figuring out your shades, consult a color wheel for assistance, or look at photos of striped walls online for some inspiration.
  3. Remove all furniture from the room and lay down a drop cloth. If you're painting the entire room with stripes, move as much furniture as possible out of the room. If you're only painting one wall, push any furniture that's on that wall into the middle of the room. Then, lay down drop cloth or plastic to prevent paint drips from staining your floor or carpeting.[3]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • You should also remove anything that's hanging on the walls that you will be painting, like pictures or shelves. This will ensure that you get crisp, clean stripes with no interruptions.
  4. Paint the entire wall with 2 coats of your base color. Choose the lightest shade in your color scheme for the base, since it will be easier to paint over a light hue than a dark one. Use a roller to apply the first coat of paint evenly, and let it dry for 24 hours. Then, apply a second coat with the roller for more coverage.[4]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • If the wall is already a color that's part of your scheme, you don't have to apply fresh paint.
  5. Let the base coat dry for 48 hours before marking and taping. After you apply the 2nd coat of paint, let the paint dry completely before you begin the process of adding stripes. This will help to prevent chipping or peeling of the base color when you remove the tape from the stripes.[5]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • If the paint isn't dry when you begin marking and taping, you can smear the paint and ruin your stripes. Be patient!

EditMarking and Taping the Stripes

  1. Measure the wall and divide by the number of stripes to find the width of each. If all of your stripes are going to be the same width, use a tape measure to find the length or height of the wall. For vertical stripes, measure the length of the wall, and for horizontal stripes, measure the height. Then, divide the measurement by the number of stripes you'd like to have.[6]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • For example, if you have a wall that is long and you want to paint 16 vertical stripes, you would divide by 16 to find that each stripe should be wide.
    • If you're doing chevron stripes, you'll still measure the wall the same way to decide where to start the stripes.
  2. Use a ruler to mark the sides of the stripes on the wall. Start at the top left corner of the wall and measure down for horizontal stripes or to the right for vertical stripes, measuring the width of 1 stripe. Mark a small "X" with a pencil, and measure the width of another stripe from that mark, continuing until you've marked and marked the edges of each stripe. Once you finish one side, move to the opposite side of the wall and repeat the process.[7]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • For instance, for 16 vertical stripes on a wall that is long, you would mark the edges of each stripe with of space between the marks along the top of the wall. Once you've marked all of them, you would do the same along the bottom of the wall.
    • For chevron stripes, you should also mark the high and low points of each stripe, keeping an equal distance between the top of the strip and the bottom of the stripe.
  3. Connect the marks for the edges of the stripes with a level. Use a carpenter's level or a laser level to line up the markings on the top and bottom or left and right side of the wall so they're perfectly straight. Then, run your pencil along the level lightly to make a straight line, which will be the edge of your stripe.[8]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • If you don't have a level, you can have 2 people hold the ends of a tape measure in place and carefully run your pencil along the tape measure to connect the markings.
    • If you're painting chevron stripes, hold the level at an angle to connect the dots at the high and low points of each stripe, making a zig-zag pattern.
  4. Lay painter's tape over the lines and press down firmly on the tape. Lay the tape so that it sits just outside of the line that you marked for the stripes, creating stripes that are the correct width. This will ensure that none of the paint gets onto the base color and that all of the stripes are the correct width. Then, run your hands down the tape, pressing firmly to prevent the paint from bleeding under the tape.[9]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • If you're worried about the paint bleeding, run the edge of a credit card firmly over the tape to press it down onto the wall. This will create a stronger seal.
    • For chevron stripes, your tape lines should meet at the high and low points of the stripe.

EditAdding the Stripes

  1. Paint around the perimeter of the stripes with a mostly dry paint brush. Dip a medium-sized dry paint brush into the color that you want your stripe to be, and let the paint drip off of the brush until it's mostly dry. Then, paint along the tape on the inside of the stripe to make a large rectangle, also known as "cutting in" the shape, which helps to prevent bleeding when you use a roller.[10]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 10 Version 2.jpg
    • You only need to apply 1 coat of the perimeter paint to prevent bleeding before you use a roller.
    • Don't be afraid to get some paint on the tape, but be careful not to get it on the areas where you want the base color to show!
  2. Use a small roller to apply 2 coats of paint on the stripes for even coverage. Dip a small, medium-nap roller into your paint, and roll it out a little on a piece of cardboard or a paint tray. Then, use long, even strokes to apply the paint to the stripe, working on 1 stripe at a time. Once you've completed the first coat on all the stripes, let the paint dry for 24 hours and apply a second coat.[11].
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 11 Version 2.jpg
    • The smaller the roller, the more control you have over where the paint goes. Rollers create a smoother, fuller finish than paint brushes.
  3. Let the walls dry overnight and peel off the tape. After applying the 2nd coat of paint, allow the stripes to dry almost completely. When the paint is still slightly wet, lift one end of the tape, and pull off the tape at a 45-degree angle from the wall. Work smoothly and quickly to avoid pulling off the paint or chipping the base.[12]
    Paint Stripes on a Wall Step 12 Version 2.jpg
    • If you pull off the tape when the paint is completely dry, you risk chipping or peeling the stripes.
    • If you do have some chips or peeling, wait until the paint is dry and then use a small paint brush to touch up the color as much as possible. You may need to re-apply the tape to get a crisp line for your stripes when doing touch-ups.

EditVideo

EditTips

  • Plan out the pattern of your stripes beforehand to avoid having one stripe that is larger than the others.

EditThings You'll Need

  • Drop cloth
  • Pencil
  • Ruler
  • Level
  • Painters tape
  • Paint
  • Paint brush
  • Small roller
  • Basic paint tray
  • Ladder or stool


EditRelated wikiHows

EditSources and Citations


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