| How to Respond when Someone Says They're Autistic Posted: 15 Jul 2019 01:00 AM PDT Good information about autism can be scarce. So when someone tells you that they're autistic, you may not know what to say. It's important to be kind, and speak in ways that support their self esteem (instead of accidentally tearing them down). This guide includes examples of what you can say to an autistic person, to help them feel supported and valued for who they are. EditWatching Their Mood - Pay attention to how they feel about autism. When someone tells you something important about themselves, it's important to note how they feel about it. Understanding their feelings can help you figure out how to react.
- Be encouraging to someone who sounds excited or happy about their diagnosis. For some people, an autism diagnosis is a relief, because it explains unanswered questions about their lives and empowers them to get the support they need.[1][2] Feeling positively about autism is also a sign of strong self esteem, which should be encouraged. Here are some examples of things you could say to someone who is happy about being autistic:
- "You're autistic? That's cool!"
- "I'm so happy you finally got a diagnosis. I hope that this can help make your life a lot easier."
- "My sister is autistic, too. She's very clever and kind, a lot like you."
- "I'm glad to see you feel positively about being autistic. I think it's great that the world is filled with all different kinds of people."
- "I'm happy for you."
- Be sympathetic to someone who sounds worried or negative, without encouraging them to feel bad. It can be tough to listen to someone who feels down about themselves, and it can be even harder to know what to say. Try to validate their feelings, without blaming autism or blaming them. Let them vent, without necessarily agreeing with their negative perspective.
- "I'm sorry to hear that you're stressed about this."
- "It sounds like you're overwhelmed by your new diagnosis."
- "Yeah, people do say a lot of negative things about autism. It's understandable that that would make you sad."
- "I'm sorry to hear you're feeling inadequate. I want you to know that I don't see you that way."
- Offer a listening ear if they want to talk about it. If they're still sorting out their feelings about autism, or they haven't yet accepted their diagnosis, then they may need someone to listen to them. Pay attention, ask questions, and try to validate their feelings.[3] Avoid pushing your own perspective too hard (even if you feel that they're very wrong). Here are some examples of things you could say:
- "So you felt surprised and excited?"
- "What happened next?"
- "Sounds like you did a lot of research. Did you find any good results?"
- "I'm sorry to hear you feel so negatively about autism. Why do you feel that way?"
EditKnowing What to Avoid Saying - Avoid pitying or inspirational remarks. Congratulating them for existing, or talking about how awful autism must be, can make them feel bad about themselves. It's not helpful to make someone feel like they're defective.[4][5] Here are some examples of harmful remarks:
- "I'm so sorry."
- "Wow, that's awful."
- "You're so brave!"
- "You must need a hug."
- "Oh, that's so sad!"
- "It's very strong of you to carry on. If I had autism, I would kill myself."
- "I feel sorry for your parents."
- Don't deny or minimize their autism. Making minimizing or stereotype-based comments can show how ignorant you are, and may make them feel bad. It's rude to contradict them when they tell you who they are, whether you do it implicitly or explicitly. Unhelpful statements include:[6][7][8]
- "You don't look autistic."
- "But you can talk/make eye contact/smile/draw/attend college/have a job/do interesting things!"
- "Are you sure?"
- "You're not disabled. You're differently abled."[9]
- "You're nothing like my 2-year-old cousin."
- "Autism is just an excuse for bad behavior."
- "But you aren't a boy/child/white person!"
- "You can do anything you put your mind to. Don't let autism hold you back."
- "But you're so normal/smart/nice/funny/likable/cool!"
- "Everyone's a little autistic."
- Avoid categorizing them as high-functioning or low-functioning. Functioning labels do more harm than good.[10][11][12] Autistic people have both needs and strengths. If you call them "high-functioning," then they may worry that you will ignore their needs and struggles, and if you call them "low-functioning," they may worry that you won't see their strengths. Avoid sorting them into a binary. Examples of unhelpful comments include:
- "You must be very high-functioning, then."
- "It must be very mild."
- "You must be on the higher end of the spectrum. You seem normal to me."
- "I know someone on the spectrum... They're much more severe than you."
- "You do a great job of hiding it."
- "If my kid could do what you can, I'd consider them recovered."
- Avoid assuming that they have a special talent. Only about 1 in 10 autistics have savant skills. These stereotypes aren't helpful,[13][14] and they can be discouraging to autistic people who don't have any savant skills. While there are lots of talented autistic people, the majority of autistics worked hard to gain their skills (just like non-autistics have).
- "You must be good at math."
- "So that makes you a computer wizard, right?"
- "Does that mean you can draw landscapes from memory?"
- "So what's your superpower?"
- Don't pry about medical details. Just like you wouldn't ask a non-autistic person about their health, it's rude to ask unsolicited health questions to an autistic person.[15][16] Autistics deserve to have their privacy respected, just like everyone else.[17] They'll only tell you medical details if they feel comfortable, on their own terms.
- "Are you on medication for that?"
- "What type of treatment are you going to get for that?"
- "Can you have sex?"
- "So what therapies did you go through?"
- Avoid discussions of causation or cure.[18] Autism is an inborn, lifelong disability. Asking what caused it, or if they want a cure, has a nasty subtext: the idea that autistics are defective, and the world would be better out without them.[19]
- "So, were you vaccinated as a child?"
- "Will you get better soon?"
- "I read that autism was caused by vaccines/GMOs/TV/milk/bad parenting/pollution/cats/toxins/demons."
- "I heard they're working on a cure. Aren't you excited?"
- "Aren't you worried your kids could get it from you?"
- "Have you tried yoga/essential oils/oxytocin/exorcism?"
- "I heard about this cool new therapy to train children with autism to learn to be normal. Have you tried it?"
- "I'll pray for God to heal you."
- Don't criticize their unusual behavior. Autistic people are different, in ways they can't always control. They may have developed coping mechanisms that look odd to you. Try not to make a big deal out of quirks like hand-flapping or rocking. If they're being disruptive (like being noisy in a library), just gently let them know. Avoid personal criticisms like:[20][21]
- "Your fidgeting is so embarrassing!"
- "You're acting crazy. Calm down."
- "Can you stop asking so many questions? You're annoying."
- "Stop using your autism as an excuse."
- "You're weird."
- "Eye contact isn't that hard. Make an effort."
- "Why are you so immature?"
- "Stop that! What's wrong with you?"
EditKnowing What to Say - Consider affirming your love or respect for them. Sometimes, autistics may worry that disclosing their diagnosis will cause you to see them differently. You can reassure them that things won't change because you know of their diagnosis now. Here are some examples of helpful things to say:
- "You're still my wife, and the same person I've known and loved for years. This diagnosis changes nothing about us."
- "This doesn't change anything. You're still my awesome nerdy friend."
- "Now that Daddy and I know you're autistic, we'll know better ways to help you. But not much will change. We'll still have fun, and play outside, and do all the normal things we do as a family."
- Know that it's okay to ask questions if you don't understand.[22][23] As long as you're kind and polite, it's generally okay to ask questions. It's better to ask than to assume.
- "I don't understand autism well. Could you please explain it to me?"
- "I heard that some autistic people don't like to be touched. Is that true for you?"
- "I heard some weird stereotypes, like that autistics can't talk or have jobs. Which, knowing you, is obviously false. Could you teach me a little more about autism, to help me get rid of any other misconceptions I might have?"
- Feel free to mention the positive autistic traits you've seen in them. This can be reassuring and affirming to the autistic person.[24][25] It can help support their self esteem too. Try saying something like:
- "You know, I've heard that autistics can have really good long-term memory. No wonder."
- "I've always noticed how passionate and focused you are. I'm not surprised to find out you're autistic."
- "I once read that autistic people can be very creative. Considering the beautiful pictures you paint, I'm not surprised."
- Try asking them to let you know how you can help. Every autistic person is different, and that means that different autistic people will need different types of support.
- "Let me know how I can help."
- "How can I help you succeed in my class?"
- "I've noticed you cover your ears sometimes when there's noise. Do you prefer hanging out in quieter places?"
- "How can I help you when you get overwhelmed?"
- "I've seen that sometimes, you struggle to find the word you're looking for. When that happens, does it help if I suggest words, or is it better if I just wait while you try to find the word?"
- Continue treating them like a friend. Let life continue on as usual. Keep being kind, patient, and friendly towards them. You don't have to treat them differently. Friends might say things like:[26]
- "How are you?"
- "What are your favorite things?"
- "Want to come sit with me?"
- "Are you fidgeting because you're uncomfortable, or are you just doing that for fun?"
- "What type of music do you like?"
- "Want to come to the book store with me?"
- "I'm going to get ice cream. Do you want some too?"
- If they say that they're having difficulty finding information, or that most of the information is negative and disempowering, try suggesting wikiHow's autism articles.
- The anti-vaccination movement can be very hurtful to autistic people, who may be made to feel like they are damaged or seen as suffering a fate worse than death.[27][28][29] Avoid voicing support for the anti-vaccine movement to an autistic person, because they may feel devalued and rejected.
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| How to Make a Paper Cube Posted: 14 Jul 2019 05:00 PM PDT Paper cubes are great to use in art projects or for decoration. There are several ways you can make a paper cube. Folding several pieces of origami paper together is one of the most popular. You can also create a paper cube by drawing and cutting out a template from a single sheet of paper and then gluing it into the shape of a cube. EditFolding an Origami Cube - Find 6 sheets of origami paper. If you want to make a larger or smaller cube, just use larger or smaller square sheets of paper. If you don't have origami paper, you can also use regular copy paper that's been cut into squares.[1]
- You can find origami paper at most craft stores or online.
- Select 3 or more colors to create interesting designs.
- Fold 1 sheet of paper in half and open it back up. Grab 1 edge of the sheet of paper and pull it toward the opposite edge. Carefully align the 2 edges together and then press down on the paper to make a fold. Once you've completed the fold, reopen the folded paper.[2]
- Divide the sheet of paper into fourths by folding the 2 halves in half. After you reopen the folded sheet of paper, you'll see a crease in its center. Position the crease so that it's perpendicular to the edge of the table. Then, fold each of the 2 halves in half by bringing the edges to the center crease.[3]
- Bring the bottom left corner to the right edge. Flip the folded paper over. Position the paper so that the center opening is facing the table. Keep the center crease perpendicular to the edge of the table. Then, fold the bottom left corner up to the middle of the paper's right edge. Align the bottom edge of the paper with the right edge and crease it.[4]
- Take the top right corner over to the left side of the paper. Fold the top right corner over to the corner made by the left edge and the folded bottom half. The folded paper should now be shaped like a parallelogram.[5]
- Fold the top corner down and over to the right corner. This move will fold the top-half triangle in half. Crease the folded edge tightly.[6]
- Move the bottom corner up and to the left. Fold the bottom-half triangle in half just like you did with the top-half triangle. Once you crease the fold tightly, you'll end up with a small square shape.[7]
- It's okay if the corners of the folded square pop back up.
- Repeat all the above steps with the 5 other sheets of paper. Start by folding each sheet of paper in half. Then, continue making the folds until you end up with a small folded square.[8]
- Fit the pieces of folded paper together. Slide the end flap of 1 piece of folded paper into the center fold of another piece. Then, slide the end flap of a third piece of paper into the other side of the center fold. Continue adding the other pieces until you have a completed cube.[9]
- Bend the flaps if you need to fit them into the center fold.
EditCutting a Cube out of a Sheet of Paper - Use a ruler and pencil to mark a rectangle. To make a cube, use a sheet of paper that is at least in length and in width. To make a smaller or larger cube, start with rectangle with a length to width ratio of 4:1.[10]
- For example, if you want to make a cube with sides that are in size, draw a rectangle to begin.
- Construction paper is the best type of paper to use when making this type of paper cube, but you can also use standard copy paper.
- Divide the rectangle into 4 squares. Use your ruler to measure down from the top of the rectangle. Then, draw a horizontal line across the rectangle to make the first square. Make 2 other horizontal lines to make the other 3 squares.[11]
- Draw a square to the right of the rectangle from its top. Extend the top 2 horizontal lines across the rectangle to the rectangle's right. Then, draw a straight line connecting the ends of the 2 lines to make a square.[12]
- Make a square on the left side of the rectangle. Draw the square immediately to the left of the second square from the bottom of the rectangle. This square's top line should be level with the bottom line of the square to the rectangle's right.[13]
- Add flaps to your template. To make a flap, use your ruler and pencil to draw 2 lines that stretch from a square's 2 corners inward at a 45-degree angle, toward one another. Then, connect the ends of the 2 lines with another line. Add flaps to the right side of the 3 top squares, the bottom side of the bottom square, the top and bottom of the square on the left side, and the left side of the top square.[14]
- Cut out the cube template. Use a pair of scissors and cut along only the outside lines of your template. Don't cut along the lines that divide the boxes from one another.[15]
- You should cut out the template in 1 piece.
- Fold the template along the lines you drew. Fold each flap inward carefully so that its crease makes an even line. Then, fold the template along the lines separating the squares. Be sure to press each fold tightly to make a crisp crease.[16]
- Add glue to each flap as you put the cube together. Hold the glued flap tightly against the corresponding side for several seconds. Once you've folded and glued the sides into a cube, leave the cube alone for several minutes to give it time to dry.[17]
EditThings You'll Need EditFolding an Origami Cube - 6 sheets of origami paper
EditCutting a Cube out of a Sheet of Paper - A sheet of paper
- Ruler
- Pencil
- Scissors
- Glue stick
EditRelated wikiHows EditReferences EditQuick Summary
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| How to Demonstrate Responsibility Posted: 14 Jul 2019 09:00 AM PDT Responsibility is an admirable trait that makes life better for everyone around you. It isn't only about doing your homework or feeding the dog. It's about making proper choices and doing what is right. Stay organized and consistent in your efforts to do better. Also, practice responsibility with other people and your community in order to show your character. Showing responsibility isn't always easy, but practicing and making an effort will help you improve over time. EditBeing Responsible Day to Day - Make a schedule to plan out your daily routine. Everyone has their own set of tasks to complete every day. It includes small chores like cleaning your room or brushing your teeth as well as big ones like work or school. Think of what you need to do during the day and label which ones are most important. Use this list to stay organized and use your time in a more responsible way.[1]
- Keep a calendar or daily planner to help you stay on top of things. There are also plenty of calendar and planner apps for your phone to use to stay on track.
- Set aside time for your tasks, such as by writing "pick clothes up off the floor, 4:00-4:30." It will help you visualize what you need to do.
- Be reliable by doing what you agree to do. Whether it is last night's homework or showing up to your doctor's appointment on time, actions are a big part of responsibility. Make your promises worth their weight. When you follow through with your promises, people begin trusting that you say. Someone who backtracks on agreements is bound to seem a little sketchy.[2]
- Punctuality is important. Show up when you say you will. Being late regularly makes you look unreliable.
- You do not have to agree to all requests. If you're asked to tackle a big project you can't handle, you are better off saying no than agreeing to it. Taking on no more than you can handle is a very responsible thing to do.
- Practice self-control by staying away from what you don't need. Everyone wants the fun things in life, but sometimes they aren't the right things. That fancy new pair of shoes at the store may look nice, but ask yourself if you really need it. Self-control is also about making positive choices to stay out of trouble. Keep your cool and you will become known as someone with a lot of self-control.[3]
- For example, self-control is like leaving the last slice of pizza behind when you're full. Avoid being impulsive. Stop yourself from taking more than you need or getting into fights.
- Master self-discipline to get through your chores. School, work, and chores all come first before playing. These things usually aren't fun and you would rather be out in the sunshine. Part of being responsible is knowing when to buckle down and get to work. Remind yourself that the distractions will still be there once you have finished your work.[4]
- Staying disciplined is a challenge in the age of social media. Consider turning off your phone and setting it aside so you aren't tempted to check status updates when you're busy.
- Show responsibility day after day. Consistency is key when you're out to look responsible. Find your groove and take care of all your responsibilities day after day. Slip-ups are fine, but too much slacking makes you look irresponsible.[5]
- For example, devote 1 hour every day to studying. Keeping that schedule is better than doing it for a week and then giving up for a month.
- Consistency proves that you are reliable. Making a schedule helps a lot with this, so use a planner or phone app if you need to.
EditInteracting with Others - Think of the consequences before speaking or acting. Bad decisions often lead to a lot of new problems. Many times, you can avoid these problems by thinking about what you're about to do before you go through with it. Irresponsible people often act without realizing how they are affecting others. By thinking, you give yourself a chance to make better decisions.[6]
- Think twice about getting into a fight with a friend, for instance, or skipping an appointment. Bigger decisions have more severe consequences. Doing something illegal like stealing could get you in a lot of long-term trouble.
- If you need help figuring out the consequences, write down a list of pros and cons. Describe the good outcomes and the bad outcomes that could happen when you make a choice.
- Pause and reflect on your actions to see what you can do better. Take a time out to look back on what you have said or done, especially after a difficult decision. Most decisions affect other people, so be accountable for your choices. Consider what went right, what went wrong, and what you could do differently next time. Use what you learn to become wiser and more responsible.[7]
- For instance, when you skip your homework to play, think about what you would do differently. You might think, "Skipping was fun, but now I have a lot of work to make up. Next time I'll get it done as soon as possible."
- If you hurt someone's feelings, consider why they reacted that way. You might realize, "That comment was more insensitive than I realized, so I'll listen and apologize to make things better."
- Tell the truth to be honest with others. If you're not trustworthy, no one will ever believe you are a responsible person. Strive to be as honest as possible. Lying leads to deeper holes in the long run, so admit when you do something wrong. This can be very tough to do at times, but it's something you can handle when you're a responsible person.[8]
- Small lies, like telling someone you like their new haircut, aren't a big deal. Avoid big lies that could hurt someone's feeling if you want people to trust you.
- Apologize for any mistakes you make. No one is perfect, and no matter how responsible you try to be, you might mess up sometimes. Instead of hiding your mistakes, own them. If you hurt someone, tell them you are sorry and will do better next time.[9]
- For example, you might forget someone's birthday. Say, "I'm sorry I forgot, but I'm going to make it up to you."
- Lying is irresponsible and can get you into more trouble. If people know you made a mistake, you have nothing to lose by hiding it.
- Find solutions for problems instead of blaming others. Instead of trying to find out who is responsible for a problem, take charge and find ways to make the situation better. If it was your fault, apologize first, then find a way to make it better. Problems happen, but doing nothing often makes them worse.[10]
- For example, say, "I'm sorry we got into a fight. I think I misunderstood what you meant. Can we talk about it?"
- Control your reactions and try to avoid snapping at people. Take a deep breath and think about what to do next. Personal attacks seem childish and don't help.
EditTackling Long-Term Challenges - Become a role model by setting a good example for others. A role model is someone other people can look up to. To become a role model, strive to do your best in any situation. Be friendly, kind, and set good examples for other people. Think of what your favorite athlete, musician, or superhero would do while other people are watching. Be the person you want others to view you as.[11]
- For instance, treating other people with respect sets a good example. Don't scream or swear in public places, include others who seem left out, and
- Being a role model is very important when you're around younger siblings or children. Take the opportunity to care for them and show them how to behave. It is a pretty big responsibility but one that often scores a lot of points with others.
- Find ways to volunteer and improve your community. There are endless opportunities for getting involved at school or around your neighborhood. You could help other students with their homework, pick up trash, or organize events, for example. Volunteering takes a little bit of extra effort, which is why it is such an effective way to make you seem more responsible.[12]
- If you're looking to impress your family, try helping out at home as well. Ask your family what you can do to help. Tackle some household chores to prevent that pile of dirty laundry from building up, for instance.
- Take on chores without being asked to do them. If you want to show responsibility, go out and grab it instead of waiting for it to come to you. Make an extra effort to show that you care about others. Use it as a chance to show people that you know what needs to be done and are willing to do it without someone telling you to.[13]
- For example, you could show responsibility to parents by cleaning up around the house. Do the dishes and straighten out your room. If you can do what needs to be done without being asked to do it, then you look very responsible.
- Accept problems and decisions you can't change. When something goes wrong, sometimes you have no choice but to persevere. Accepting a negative is difficult but it is possible when you're practicing responsibility. When you can't change something, fighting against it tends to create new problems and make old ones worse. Do your best to move on and find alternatives.[14]
- Once you have said or did something, you usually can't take it back. Make the most of a bad situation, but stay positive and keep looking for way to do better.
- When someone says no to you, don't pressure them to change their mind. The pressure could make them uncomfortable and think of you as immature for not respecting their decision.
- There are some decisions you can change. For instance, you could try convincing your parents to let you handle a pet by demonstrating responsibility. Use your judgment to determine how to act.
- Stick with long-term commitments as much as you can. Responsibilities, like joining a club or caring for a pet, are continual. A responsibility that seems easy at first often gets more difficult as time goes on. If you have the dedication, stick with a task. Stay dedicated to it after your initial enthusiasm cools off.[15]
- For example, you could become a leader in a volunteer organization or practice hard for your sports team. Stay with it for a while and don't neglect your commitment.
- A long-term commitment doesn't have to be forever. Try to set a length of time, such as a year, to keep it up. If you absolutely have to quit, be graceful about it.
- Showing responsibility is important for anyone convincing their parents to let them do something, such as get a new cell phone. If you show responsibility, you will have a better chance of changing their minds.
- Mistakes happen and it's okay if you make some. Stick with your attempts to be responsible and look for ways to improve.
- You don't need to invest in anything fancy to keep yourself on track. A cheap planner or calendar is more than enough.
- Be polite when asking for something. You may need to remind someone of your request, but waiting without beginning proves you are patient and respectful.
- Responsibility takes consistent effort and you could get overwhelmed if you try to do too much all at once. Keep your duties in mind, but remember to have fun too.
- Some responsibilities are big deals and you can't commit to them half-heartedly. If you're not prepared to care for a pet, commit to a team, or so on, find different alternatives to avoid letting people down.
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