sexta-feira, 8 de maio de 2020


How to Wash a Dog

Posted: 08 May 2020 01:00 AM PDT

How often you need to wash your dog depends on a variety of things, including the dog's breed, size, type of coat, and activities. Dogs that are frequently outdoors may need more frequent baths, while indoor dogs may need a bath only every few months. Baths can be scary for dogs, but with a little knowledge and preparation, you can make washing your dog a good experience for both of you.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Preparing to Wash Your Dog

  1. Choose a location. If you have a very small dog, you can bathe him in a laundry or kitchen sink. You can bathe larger dogs in showers or bathtubs. If it's not too cold outside, you can even bathe your dog outside.[1]
    Wash a Dog Step 5 Version 5.jpg
    • If you bathe your dog in a bathtub or sink, the bottom will get slippery when it's wet. To help calm your dog and give him traction, put a towel on the bottom of the tub or sink.[2] You can also use a rubber bath mat or nonslip adhesive pads.[3]
    • Choose a confined location, if possible. Your dog may get anxious or upset during his bath and try to escape. Shut the bathroom door if you use the bathtub. If you're washing your dog outside, make sure to do it in a fenced area so your dog can't run away.[4]
  2. Prep your dog for washing. Brush your dog's fur thoroughly before giving him a bath. This is especially important if your dog has a thick, shaggy, or double coat. Make sure to remove any tangles or matted areas.[5]

    • If your dog has any ticks, you may want to see a vet to get them removed. Or you can remove it yourself.
    • If your dog has sticky substances (e.g., paint, tar, pine sap) stuck in his fur, rub them with petroleum jelly or vegetable oil and let it sit for 24 hours. A liquid dish soap may also do the trick.[6]
  3. Trim your dog's nails. If your dog's nails need trimming, trim them before you give him a bath. This will help keep him from accidentally scratching you if he gets agitated or fussy.
    Wash a Dog Step 7 Version 3.jpg
    [7]
  4. Gather all the supplies you'll need. Once you start the washing process, you'll want to have everything you need close to hand. You will need towels, cotton balls, dog shampoo, treats, and a washcloth or sponge. If you don't have a hose or detachable showerhead, you will need a bucket or other vessel for rinsing.
    Wash a Dog Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • Uncap your shampoos and other bottles so that you don't have to do that while keeping a wet dog in check.
    • If your dog tends to be nervous in the bath, you may want to have a helper. The helper can help keep your dog steady while you wash him.
  5. Put cotton balls in your dog's ears. When dogs' ears get wet, they can develop ear infections.[8] Putting cotton balls in his ears will help keep the ear canals dry.[9]

  6. Remove your dog's collar. To get his neck area clean, you will need to remove the dog's collar. If you need a collar to keep hold of your dog while bathing him, use a nylon collar. Leather collars can shrink when wet, and could choke your dog.[10]

[Edit]Bathing Your Dog

  1. Get the temperature right. Dogs are sensitive to hot water just like you are. Check the water temperature before you bathe your dog. It should be warm, but not hot. Water that's too cold can give your dog a chill, which is especially dangerous for puppies.[11]
    Wash a Dog Step 11 Version 4.jpg
    • If you're bathing in a sink or tub, fill it to about your dog's knees with warm water.
  2. Wet your dog's body with water. It's not recommended that you wash your dog's head or face. This can end up getting water in his ears or stinging his eyes with shampoo. Instead, wet him from the neck back. Make sure his coat is fully saturated. This can take awhile for dogs with especially thick coats.[12]

    • If you have a hose or detachable showerhead, use it to spray your dog. Make sure the water pressure isn't too high, or it could startle him.
    • If you use a bucket or pitcher to wet your dog, make sure to avoid pouring water over his head.[13]
    • There are also snap-on sprayer attachments that attach to your showerhead or faucet. The ASPCA recommends the Rinse Ace Pet Shower Deluxe.[14]
  3. Apply the shampoo. If your dog's coat is very thick or long, you may want to pre-mix some shampoo with water in a small cup. This will help you get an even lather throughout his coat.[15] For dogs with short coats, just pour a strip of shampoo down the body. Massage the shampoo into his coat.

    • You do not need to use a washcloth or sponge to apply the shampoo. In fact, it's a better idea to use your hands as you lather up the shampoo. This way, you can check his body for any unusual signs, such as bumps or inflammation.[16]
    • Do not apply shampoo to your dog's head or face. If his face is dirty, use a damp washcloth to gently wipe away any dirt.[17]
    • If your dog has a very long coat, massage the shampoo in the direction of his hair growth. This will help prevent tangling.[18]
  4. Wash the dog's body. Massage the shampoo onto the whole body except for the head. Lather up his armpits, stomach, tail and groin area, and paws, too.[19]

    • Keep the shampoo on your dog for as long as the bottle calls for. Some shampoos contain mild flea repellents, and they may need to stay on for a certain amount of time to be effective.
  5. Clean your dog's face. If your dog's face is dirty, use a damp washcloth to wipe the dirt away. Don't clean inside his ears with a washcloth; this can get the ears too wet and promote infection.[20]

    • Some dogs have a skin infection on their chins called furunculosis, which looks like small pimples or red bumps. If your dog has this condition, you should consult with your vet to see how to properly clean the area. Your vet may suggest a disinfecting shampoo or ointment.
    • If your dog has folds in his facial skin, make sure to use the washcloth to clean in between them.
  6. Rinse your dog until the water from his fur runs clear. It's important to rinse all of the shampoo residue from your dog's coat. This can take awhile to do thoroughly, especially when your dog's fur is thick or double-coated.[21] Not rinsing your dog's coat properly can lead to skin irritation and pH imbalance.

    • Remember not to pour water over your dog's head and face. If you're using a pitcher or bucket to rinse, pour water so that it flows down his back, not toward his face. Avoid spraying your dog's face if you're using a hose or sprayer.[22]
  7. Dry your dog. If you can find a highly absorbent microfiber towel, it will make the drying process quicker; however, even a regular bath towel will work.[23] Lay the towel over your dog's back and pat him dry. Don't rub the towel, as this can cause matting in long-haired breeds. Remember that your dog's natural instinct will be to shake himself dry, so be prepared for some splattering.[24]

    • Some people may use hair dryers to dry their dog's fur. Keep the heat setting on low or cool to avoid burning your dog. Never point a hair dryer at your dog's face.[25]
  8. Comb out your dog's coat. If your dog has very long or shaggy fur, you will want to comb it out while it's wet to avoid it tangling. You can use a detangling mist to help this process.[26]

  9. Give your dog a treat. To keep the positive associations with bathtime strong, give your dog a treat every time you wash him. Praise him for being a good dog. This way, your dog will learn that bathtime is not a time to dread but a fun time that involves treats and praise.[27]

[Edit]Grooming Your Dog After a Wash

  1. Clean your dog's ears. Remove the cotton balls from your dog's ears. You should clean his ears of excessive earwax to help avoid irritation or infection.[28] You can use a specially formulated ear rinse such as Vetericyn Ear Rinse. You can also use witch hazel, hydrogen peroxide, or a mixture of equal parts organic apple cider vinegar and purified water.[29]

    • Apply some of the ear cleaner on a cotton ball. Do not use cotton swabs. You could damage your dog's eardrums if you insert them too far.[30]
    • Rub the cotton ball around the inside of the ear. Check the cotton ball for waxy residue. Once you don't see any more residue on the cotton ball, your dog's ears are clean. You can also use a soaked cotton ball to clean the dog's outer ears (the large flappy bits are called the pinna).[31]
    • Try not to pour or spray the solution directly into the dog's ears. Many dogs don't like this, and you want to avoid as many negative associations with bathtime as possible.[32]
    • If your dog has hairs growing from his ear canal, consult your vet. Some breeds can develop tangled ear hair, which can lead to ear infections.[33]
  2. Clean off tear buildup. Some dogs have a condition called epiphora, which occurs when your dog's tears overflow onto his face.[34] This is very common in brachycephalic breeds such as many terriers and chihuahuas.[35] Wash this extra tear buildup away to avoid irritation or bacterial infection.[36]

    • Colloidal silver is commonly recommended, as it is safe to use around the eyes. It comes in spray or liquid drops form. Apply colloidal silver to a clean cotton ball and wipe your pet's eyes.[37]
    • Dabbing a bit of coconut oil beneath the eyes where the tear stain "tracks" are can help keep the skin from getting irritated.[38]
    • Many pet supply stores sell tear stain cleansers and even pre-saturated pads. These can be easy to use. Just make sure that the product is marked hypoallergenic and that it doesn't contain the substance tylosin tartrate. This antibiotic is not approved for use on dogs or cats.[39]
    • Some breeds, such as poodles and shih-tzus, have a condition called distichiasis, where their eyelashes grow inward rather than outward. This can cause eye irritation and excessive tearing. If you notice that your dog has frequent tear buildup, consult with your vet. It may be nothing more than a result of his facial shape, but it is always better to be safe.[40]
    • Do not use hydrogen peroxide, apple cider vinegar, makeup remover, human eye drops, or milk of magnesia to clean your dog's eyes.[41]
  3. Give your dog another treat. Now that he's all clean, give your dog another treat. Praise him for being a good dog. Give him some petting and perhaps play a game.[42]
    Wash a Dog Step 22 Version 2.jpg

[Edit]Understanding Good Bathing Habits

  1. Avoid washing your dog too often. There is usually no reason to bathe a dog unless he has a skin infection or he smells bad. You can usually bathe your dog once a month to keep him smelling pleasant.[43]If you bathe him more than that, you can cause skin irritation and he may scratch a lot.[44]
    Wash a Dog Step 1 Version 3.jpg
    • Brush your dog's coat often. This will help keep him clean in between baths, and it's also good for his skin and coat.[45]
    • If your dog has a skin infection, consult with your vet to see how best to wash and treat your dog.
  2. Choose the right shampoo. A mild shampoo formulated for dogs is the best idea. Look for a shampoo that has a neutral pH balance, around 7. Avoid artificial fragrances and colors, as these can also irritate your dog's skin.[46][47]
    Wash a Dog Step 3 Version 3.jpg
    • You should never use human shampoo to wash your dog. Dogs' skin has a different pH balance than human skin, and human shampoo can disrupt that balance. Disrupted pH balance can foster bacteria, parasites, and viruses.[48]
    • Oatmeal shampoo is a good basic choice for most dogs. If you're not sure what to use, it's a safe shampoo to start with.
    • If your dog has a skin rash or other condition, he will often scratch, which will further irritate his skin. Tea tree shampoo can be helpful for some skin irritations.[49] Avoid getting the shampoo into his mouth, as tea tree oil is toxic when consumed. Consult with your vet to determine what shampoo to use for a dog with skin conditions.
    • Some shampoos can help prevent flea infestations. Look for shampoos containing pyrethrin, pyrethrum, or citrus oil.[50]
  3. Leave your dog's anal sacs alone unless you know how to express them safely. Your dog has small sacs on his back end, at the edge of his anus. Some dog groomers offer to "express," or squeeze, the anal sacs during cleaning. If your vet approves and you know how to do it safely, it's okay to try doing so at this point. Otherwise, leave them alone.

    • If your dog has inflamed or irritated anal sacs, consult your vet.[51]
  4. Accustom your dog to the bath. If your dog is new to your home, he may be afraid of bathtime. You can help him learn to associate baths with positive experiences with a few simple tricks.[52]

    • If your dog is terrified of the bath, place your dog in an empty tub (or wherever you wash your dog). Don't run water yet. Speak to him in a soothing voice and give him a treat or toy to play with. This will help him associate bathtime with something he enjoys.[53]
    • Work your way up to running warm water over his body. Every time you bathe your dog, give him/her a little treat.
    • Get your puppy used to the bath by washing him after he is five weeks old. Getting your puppy used to bathtime as a pleasant experience will make it easier for him to accept baths when he's older.[54]

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Tips

  • You will get wet! So don't wear one of your favorite outfits just to wash your dog. You may just want to wear some old jeans and an old t-shirt.
  • In warmer weather you can bathe your dog outside in a kiddie pool.
  • Remember not to get water/soap in your dog's nose, mouth, ears, and eyes.
  • Make sure you brush your dog before you give them a bath, because it will be much easier to groom them and nobody wants knits in their fur.
  • Talk to your dog to comfort him.
  • Make sure to NEVER get water in a dog's ear, which can cause ear infections which will than cause uncomfortable irritation to the dog!
  • If your dog seems uncomfortable, don't force him/her to get in the bath!
  • Be sure to thoroughly wash out shampoo. If some is left it could cause skin irritation.
  • Try to clean the paws thoroughly to clean away any dirt and bacteria buildup.
  • Small dogs can easily be bathed in a sink as well as a bathtub.
  • Stay away from shampoos that have flea poisons in them. Flea Collars are also Toxic for you and your best friend. Instead rub food grade Diatomaceous earth through their hair when dry, and fleas will be dead naturally. You can also sprinkle this on your carpet, and if you choose, have a few tablespoons yourself.

[Edit]Warnings

  • If your dog develops a rash, or any other sign of an allergic reaction, contact your veterinarian immediately.
  • Do not dye your dog's hair. It can cause serious health problems.

[Edit]Things You'll Need

  • A bathtub or sink (if the dog is small)
  • Towel
  • Pet Shampoo
  • Water
  • Sponge or washcloth
  • Bucket or pitcher, or a detachable showerhead or sprayer
  • Cotton balls
  • Dog brush/comb
  • Treats

[Edit]Related wikiHows


[Edit]References



[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  2. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  3. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  4. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/trimming-your-dogs-nails
  5. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  6. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  7. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/trimming-your-dogs-nails
  8. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  9. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-to-bathe-your-dog/
  10. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  11. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  12. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  13. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  14. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  15. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  16. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  17. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  18. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  19. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  20. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  21. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  22. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-to-bathe-your-dog/
  23. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-to-bathe-your-dog/
  24. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-to-bathe-your-dog/
  25. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  26. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  27. http://www.petshed.com/petcyclopedia/how-to-wash-dog-properly.html
  28. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2009/06/24/how-to-care-for-your-pet-s-ears.aspx
  29. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2009/06/24/how-to-care-for-your-pet-s-ears.aspx
  30. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2009/06/24/how-to-care-for-your-pet-s-ears.aspx
  31. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  32. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  33. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/dog-care/ear-care
  34. https://www.cesarsway.com/tear-staining-causes-and-treatment/
  35. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  36. https://www.cesarsway.com/tear-staining-causes-and-treatment/
  37. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2014/11/12/pet-tear-staining.aspx
  38. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2014/11/12/pet-tear-staining.aspx
  39. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2014/11/12/pet-tear-staining.aspx
  40. https://www.cesarsway.com/tear-staining-causes-and-treatment/
  41. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2014/11/12/pet-tear-staining.aspx
  42. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  43. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-often-to-bathe-a-dog/
  44. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  45. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  46. http://www.petmd.com/dog/grooming/evr_dg_shampoo_for_dogs
  47. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  48. http://www.petmd.com/dog/grooming/evr_dg_shampoo_for_dogs
  49. http://healthypets.mercola.com/sites/healthypets/archive/2011/10/11/mistakes-that-can-ruin-dogs-bath-time-for-his-lifetime.aspx
  50. http://www.paw-rescue.org/PAW/PETTIPS/DogTip_Shampoo.php
  51. http://www.petmd.com/dog/general-health/evr_dg_anal_sac_problems
  52. https://www.cesarsway.com/how-to-bathe-your-dog/
  53. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog
  54. https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/bathing-your-dog

How to Communicate Better in a Relationship

Posted: 07 May 2020 05:00 PM PDT

Communication is hard work. That's why it's the key to any healthy relationship. If you want to communicate better in a relationship, then you have to not only know how to state your ideas but to be able to really listen to your partner. If you want to know how to communicate better in a relationship, just follow these steps.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Making Your Case

  1. Learn to say what you mean. We've heard the jokes about intent versus actual dialogue -- when she says "this" she really means that -- or, "what he's really trying to tell you is..." Those jokes are funny because of how often they're true. Sometimes we expect our partner to understand our hidden meanings, but wishing or relying on this isn't fair or effective. Instead, lay out your thoughts directly.[1]
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 1 Version 2.jpg
    • When you make your case, provide concrete examples of what you mean so your words make more sense. Don't just say, "I feel like you haven't done your share around the house..." Instead, say, "I've had to do the dishes every night for the last two weeks..."
    • Speak slowly enough for your partner to understand you. Don't just blurt out all of your angry feelings or he or she won't be able to follow your logic.
    • Remember that there's no prize for speaking for as long as you can. Hit all of the key points you want to hit, but don't just keep talking and talking until your partner is overwhelmed.
    • Directly laying out your thoughts eliminates resentment and confusion about your motives. Instead of offering alternatives to your boyfriend's plans to bring you to a party, tell him the truth: that you just don't want to face all those people after a tough week at work, followed by, "I'm sorry to say that I'm just not in a party mood tonight."
  2. Use "I" or "me" statements. Don't start an argument off by accusing your partner of making a mistake. If you say, "You always..." or "You never..." then your partner's guard will be up and he'll be less likely to listen to your perspective. Instead, say something like, "I've noticed that..." or "Lately, I've been feeling like..." Making the discussion centered around your feelings will make your partner feel less like he's being castigated and more like he's part of a productive discussion.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 2 Version 2.jpg
    • Even saying, "Lately, I've been feeling a little neglected" sounds more conciliatory than "You've been neglecting me."
    • Though you'll be essentially saying the same thing through the "I" statements, this soft-blow delivery will make your partner less defensive and more likely to communicate openly.
  3. Keep as calm as you can. Though you may not be able to be as cool as a cucumber when you and your partner are in the middle of a heated discussion, the calmer you are, the more easily you will be able to express your feelings. So, if you're feeling furious in the middle of a conversation, or even livid before you bring up the issue, take a breather until you feel calm enough to start a productive discussion.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 3 Version 2.jpg
    • Speak in a slow, even tone to articulate your ideas.
    • Don't talk over your partner. This will only make you more angry.
    • Take deep breaths. Don't get hysterical in the middle of an argument.
  4. Maintain positive body language. Having positive body language can help set a positive tone to the discussion. Look your partner in the eyes and turn your body to him. You can use your arms to gesture, but don't move them so wildly that you start getting out of control. Don't cross your arms over your chest or your partner will feel that you are already closed off to what he has to say.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 4 Version 2.jpg
    • Don't fidget with the objects around you, unless this helps you get out some nervous energy.
  5. Project your ideas with confidence. This doesn't mean that you should walk into the discussion like you're going into a business meeting. Don't march into the room, shake your partner's hand, and make your case. Instead, project confidence by acting as comfortable as you can with the situation. Smile from time to time, speak carefully, and don't hesitate, ask too many questions, or sound uncertain of what you have to say. If your partner doubts your commitment to your feelings, he won't take you as seriously.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 5 Version 2.jpg
    • The more confident you are, the less likely you are to get scared off or to be frazzled. This will help you articulate your ideas.
  6. Have a game plan before you begin. This is an incredibly important point. Don't just jump into an argument when you least expect it, and start telling your partner the fifteen things he or she has been doing wrong. Even if you're upset or hurt for a variety of reasons, it's important to focus on the main point you want to make, and to think about what result you want to achieve from the conversation; if your only goal is to make your partner feel bad about what he or she has done, then you should give it more thought before you begin.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 6 Version 2.jpg
    • Part of the plan should be when to have the discussion. Bringing up a rational argument in an inopportune time, such as at a family picnic or in the middle of an important sporting event on TV, can make your entire point null and void.
    • Think about what specific examples you'll use to state your case. Let's say you want your partner to be a better listener. Can you think of two or three times when he didn't listen and it really hurt you? Don't overwhelm him or her with negative criticism, but use concrete evidence to get the attention you need.
    • Remember what your goal is -- is it to show your partner why you're been hurt, to bring up an important conflict and find a compromise that will make you both happy, or to discuss how you can deal with stress as a couple. Keeping your goal in the back of your mind will help keep you on track.

[Edit]Listening to Your Partner

  1. Put yourself in your partner's place. Use the power of imagination to fully envision what your partner's perspective might be in a given situation. Be aware that there might be factors you don't know about. When he or she is talking, putting yourself in his shoes can help you understand why your behavior, or the situation at hand, may be frustrating for him. When you're angry or upset, it's hard to see past your side of the argument, but this technique can actually help you reach a resolution faster.[2]
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 7 Version 2.jpg
    • Empathy can usually help you solve a problem in your relationship. Emphasizing that you're trying to be understanding by saying, "I know you must be feeling upset because..." or "I know you've had a hard week at work..." can help your partner realize you're really listening with their point of view as the framework.
    • Putting yourself in your partner's place can help you validate his feelings and let him know that you understand his struggles and honor his feelings.
  2. Allow your partner the freedom to work through internal conflicts. Though it's great to be able to talk out all of your frustration, sometimes your partner is still working out his thoughts and feelings and needs some time to to sort through feelings during alone time. Giving him space and time to reflect can prevent him from jumping into an argument and saying something he regrets later. There's a fine line between encouraging a conversation and pushing your partner before he's ready to talk and share.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 8 Version 2.jpg
    • Just saying, "I'm here when you need to talk," can make your partner feel like you care without smothering him.
  3. Give him or her your full attention. Know the cues that your partner wants to talk -- and that it's serious. When he or she wants to talk, you should turn off the TV, put away your work, hide your phone, and do everything you can to give your partner your full attention. If you're multi-tasking or distracted, then he or she will probably become even more frustrated. If you're really in the middle of something, ask if you can have just a few minutes to wrap it up so you're less distracted when the time comes.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 9 Version 2.jpg
    • Maintaining eye contact instead of looking around for other things that may hold your interest can also help your partner feel like you're really listening.
    • Let him or her finish, but nod your head or say, "I understand how you feel..." from time to time to stay connected.
  4. Let him finish. Though he may say something completely outrageous or something that you feel like you just have to correct, don't jump in and interrupt him in the middle of him sharing his thoughts and feelings. Make a mental note of any point you feel you need to address later, but let your partner say everything he has to say. When he's done, it'll be your turn and you can delve into to these points one by one or choose to address them later, in a separate moment.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 10.jpg
    • This may seem nearly impossible when you feel like you just have to jump in then and there and make a counter-argument, but your partner will feel much better once he gets everything off his chest.
  5. Mind the gap. When you're listening to your partner, you should know that you don't have to accept or understand everything he has to say. No matter how in sync you are, how similar you are, and how aligned your goals are, there will be times when you just don't see eye to eye on a situation, no matter how hard you both try to express your feelings. And that's okay. – Being aware of the gap between your understanding of the situation and your partner's will make you more receptive to what he has to say.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 11.jpg
    • Being aware of this discrepancy will help you get less frustrated when you're just not getting each other.

[Edit]Building a Strong Foundation

  1. Maintain intimacy. This doesn't mean that you should hop into bed with your partner every chance you get to make up after fighting. It does mean that you should be intimate as much as you can, whether it means cuddling, caressing each other and laughing about nothing, or just spending time on the couch holding hands and watching your favorite TV shows. Make time for intimacy at least a few times a week, no matter how busy you are -- this will help you when the time comes to talk about the difficult stuff.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 12.jpg
    • Being intimate has a more significant meaning than being physical. It's about seeing into another person and trying to create a space in your mind for your partner's words, body language, or actions.
  2. Learn to recognize when your partner is upset. Sure, it would be great if your partner let you know every time something important was really troubling him. However, that's rarely the case. If you want to build a solid foundation for communication, then you have to start recognizing the non-verbal or verbal cues that let you know your partner is upset. Get to know your partner's signs and be comfortable with saying, "Hey, you look upset. Is something bothering you?" He might not always want to talk, but making him aware that you know he's upset will make him feel more valued.[3]
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 13.jpg
    • Every person will demonstrate being bothered differently – from staying conspicuously quiet, saying he's not hungry, making passive-aggressive comments, or complaining about something minor when something major is really on his mind.
    • This doesn't mean that you should say, "Hey, what's wrong?" if your partner isn't acting 100% happy. – Maybe he or she is just tired after a long day of work. Recognizing the signs and knowing when your partner is truly okay is different from asking him if he's okay on a daily basis. This could get annoying.
    • Sometimes body language can convey more than actual words.
    • If you are caught in a misunderstanding, it's important to establish your willingness to communicate. You might delve into true feelings with a process similar to: "I'm trying to understand, but I'm not getting there. Am I doing something to upset you?" "No." "Is someone else doing something to upset you?" "No." "Are you just upset?" "Yes." "With me?" "No. Not really." You're narrowing it down. It seems like a lot of effort, but it may be worth it in the end.
  3. Be proactive. You don't have to have a fight over every little thing that is bothering you, but you should be able to bring up the tough problems when the time comes. Don't get passive-aggressive and let your anger boil up, or you'll find yourself having a full-blown fight at an inopportune moment. Learn to bring up the big questions so you can be comforted when you find a compromise, instead of letting yourself simmer at or near the boiling point.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 14.jpg
    • Both members of the relationship can offer solutions until you find one that is mutually acceptable. A true compromise is one in which both partners feel that their thoughts and feelings are addressed while adhering to real constraints: feasibility, time, cost, etc.
  4. Lighten up. Find time together to just have fun. If you spend all of your time working and then fighting about your problems, you won't enjoy your relationship very much. If you store up a lot of points in your "fun bank," and have lots of positive feelings and memories with your partner, you'll be less likely to explode in the middle of an argument. Building a solid foundation of mutual love and happiness will help you through the hard times.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 15.jpg
    • Laugh together. Whether you're making corny jokes, watching a comedy, or just cracking up over nothing, laughing will really help you enjoy your relationship more and prepare for the difficult times.
  5. Realize when a conversation is no longer productive. If you're both shouting, hurting each other, and not getting anywhere, then, yeah, the conversation is no longer productive. There's no need to keep fighting if you're just making things worse. Instead, take a breath, tell your partner that you should both calm down and pick up the conversation at another time. This is a mature way to keep your communication from getting out of control.[4]
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 16.jpg
    • Just say, "I think this topic is really important to both of us, but we should return to it when we're both more calm and our thought are more settled."
    • Don't walk away by slamming doors or shouting hurtful things. Leave on a positive note, even if you're still feeling angry.
    • Sometimes, you may just be arguing about nothing to get a reaction out of each other. If this is the case, then point it out. Say, "What are we even fighting about?" This can help you both take a step back and take stock of the situation.
  6. Learn to compromise. In any good relationship, being happy should always be more important than being right. Don't spend all of your time trying to prove that you're right or fighting to get your way, or your romance will fizzle. Instead, work on finding a productive solution that can make both of you reasonably happy. This is much better for your relationship long term and will help you communicate your true needs.[5]
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 17.jpg
    • Sometimes, you just won't be able to get your way when it comes to a black and white discussion, such as finding a new place to live. Still, make sure that is a healthy balance of give and take.
    • Take turns. One person shouldn't always get his or her way.
    • Making a pros and cons list can sometimes help you reach a solution in a more logical and less heated way.
    • Sometimes, when you're having an argument, it's important to consider which person really cares more. This can help you figure out how to address the situation. If something is really important to you, but only sort of important to your partner, let it be known.
  7. Don't forget to appreciate each other. If you want to keep up a healthy stream of communication, then you and your partner have to take the time to express your appreciation for one another's recent actions, send each other sweet notes, tell each other what you love about each other, and to make time to do the things you love. A weekly date night, and as many nightly dinners as you can manage can really help you enjoy each other's company and get used to talking to each other in a positive way. This, in turn, will make it easier for you to have an argument that is constructive when the time comes.
    Communicate Better in a Relationship Step 18.jpg
    • In any healthy relationship, you should give your partner much more positive than negative feedback. Specifically, if you feel like he's doing everything right, let him know!

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How to Make Simple Iced Coffee

Posted: 07 May 2020 09:00 AM PDT

Iced coffee is a yummy summer treat, perfect for a warm summer evening. Homemade iced coffee is even better, and there are many different ways in which to make it. It is far less expensive than the iced coffee you get from a cafe. Better yet, you can customize it to your personal tastes.

[Edit]Ingredients

[Edit]Instant Iced Coffee[1]

  • ¾ tablespoon (14 grams) instant coffee
  • 5 to 6 tablespoons (75 to 90 milliliters) hot water
  • 1 tablespoon (15 grams) sugar
  • Ice (to taste)
  • Creamer, half-and-half, or milk (to taste)

[Edit]Basic Iced Coffee[2]

  • 1 cup (140 grams) ice
  • 1 cup (240 milliliters) coffee, room temperature or chilled
  • Sugar (to taste)
  • Cream, half-and-half, or milk (to taste)

[Edit]Cold Brew Iced Coffee[3]

  • 1/3 cup (40 grams) ground coffee
  • 1 1/3 cups (320 milliliters) cold water
  • Sugar (to taste)
  • Creamer, half-and-half, or milk (to taste)

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Making Instant Coffee

  1. Fill a tall glass with instant coffee and sugar. You are adding the sugar with the instant coffee, because it dissolves better in hot water than in cold. If you like your iced coffee less sweet, use less sugar.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 1 Version 6.jpg
  2. Stir in the hot water. Boil the water first, then add it to the instant coffee-sugar mixture. Keep stirring until the sugar and instant coffee dissolve. Don't worry if your coffee looks strong. It will become less strong once you add the ice in.

  3. Add in a few ice cubes and stir. Don't worry if the ice melts; it most certainly will from the hot coffee. These first few ice cubes will dilute the strong coffee mixture and help cool it down initially.

  4. Add in the rest of the ice cubes. You can add as many or as few cubes as you'd like. This ice is what will make your coffee nice, cold, and icy.

    • For a lightly-iced coffee, plop in a few cubes. For a regular iced coffee, fill the glass almost to the top. The ice will melt quickly at first, but it will slow down once the coffee becomes cold.
  5. Top off with a splash of cream, half-and-half, or milk. If you'll like a lighter iced coffee, you can also add some cold water. Give the coffee a final stir to mix in the creamer.

  6. Enjoy your iced coffee before the ice melts. The longer you wait, the more watery your iced coffee will become.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 6 Version 6.jpg

[Edit]Making Basic Iced Coffee

  1. Brew a cup of coffee. If you have not already, get out your coffee maker, and brew a cup of coffee. Try to make it on the stronger side, as the ice will water it down later on.

    • Consider adding the sugar now. Sugar dissolves better in hot drinks than it does in cold drinks.
  2. Let the coffee cool down a little. If you just add ice to it, it will not be cold enough. You'll need to let the coffee cool down a little. Room temperature will be enough. If you'd like your iced coffee even colder, wait 15 to 20 minutes, then place it into the fridge for a little bit.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 8 Version 5.jpg
  3. Fill a tall glass with ice. You can use regular ice cubes, or ice cubes made from frozen coffee. Avoid filling the glass all the way with ice, or you may not have enough room for the coffee. You can always add more ice later, if it is not enough for you.

  4. Pour the cooled coffee over the ice. If you need to add more ice, do so now.

  5. Add the cream and sugar to taste. If you have not already, add the sugar to your drink now. Start with a splash of cream and a spoonful of sugar, stir, and taste. Add more cream and/or sugar until you get your coffee to where you like it.

  6. Enjoy the coffee before the ice melts. The longer you let it sit, the more watery it will become.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 12 Version 5.jpg

[Edit]Making Cold Brewed Iced Coffee

  1. Combine the ground coffee and water in a mason jar. Stir the coffee until there are no more lumps or clumps. You can use a spoon, fork, or whisk. Many people find that iced coffee brewed this way has a bitter taste to it.

  2. Cover the jar, and leave it in the fridge for up to 5 hours. This is what makes the coffee "cold brewed." Instead of brewing quickly in hot water, the coffee brews slowly in cold water. Cold brewed coffee is usually less acidic than hot brewed coffee.

    • Avoid leaving the coffee in the fridge overnight, or it will taste bitter.[4]
  3. Fill a tall glass with ice. Make sure that you have enough room for the coffee. You can always add more ice later, if it is not enough for you.

  4. Line a strainer with a coffee filter, and place it over the glass. The filter-lined strainer will catch the coffee grounds when you pour the coffee.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 16 Version 5.jpg
  5. Pour the coffee through the strainer and into the glass. Squeeze and press the coffee grounds against the filter-lined strainer using the back of a spoon or spatula. This will help get the excess coffee out of the grounds.[5]

  6. Add milk and sugar. Start with a splash of milk (or creamer) and a spoonful of sugar. Give it a stir, and taste it. If you need to add more milk or sugar, do so now.

    • Make sure that you stir well to help the sugar dissolve.
  7. Enjoy your coffee before the ice melts. As the ice melts, your coffee will become more watery and diluted.
    Make Simple Iced Coffee Step 19 Version 5.jpg

[Edit]Tips

  • Consider using a flavored creamer instead of milk and sugar. It will mix into the coffee better.[6]
  • To make Vietnamese iced coffee, use 1 tablespoon of sweetened, condensed milk instead of milk and sugar.[7]
  • Consider making a big batch of cold-brewed coffee. You will need about 1 cup of water for every ounce of coffee grounds.[8] Your batch will last for up to two days, after you strain the grounds out.[9]
  • Consider freezing some coffee in an ice cube tray, and using the coffee ice cubes instead of regular ice. This way, your coffee won't get diluted and watery as the ice melts.
  • Use filtered water instead of tap water. Your coffee will taste better.[10]
  • For an extra creamy and sweet iced coffee, try it with coconut milk instead.[11] Be sure to give the can a good shake before you open it, as coconut milk tends to separate.
  • Sugar does not dissolve well in cold drinks. Consider making a batch of simple syrup, and using that to sweeten your iced coffee instead.[12]
  • Add a few drops of vanilla extract for a vanilla iced coffee.

[Edit]Warnings

  • Don't put a cup of hot coffee straight into the fridge or freezer. You'll risk your mug cracking or breaking. You'll also raise the inside temperature of your freezer/fridge and cause the other food to thaw.


[Edit]Things You'll Need

[Edit]Making Instant Coffee

  • Mug
  • Spoon

[Edit]Making Basic Iced Coffee

  • Mug
  • Spoon
  • Tall glass

[Edit]Making Cold Brewed Iced Coffee

  • Mason jar
  • Strainer
  • Coffee filter
  • Tall glass
  • Spoon


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