|DICASTIO|

How to Build a Healthy Relationship with a Stepchild
How to Relieve Wrist Pain from Lifting
How to Make Wedding Signs

How to Build a Healthy Relationship with a Stepchild

Posted: 03 Apr 2019 01:00 AM PDT

Marrying someone who already has children can be a challenge, but it can also be an immense blessing. As a step-parent, you get to serve as friend and mentor to the child--you don't have to try to step in as a third parent. Focus on building good rapport with your stepchild and fostering mutual respect and trust. Also, keep in mind that this can be a major adjustment for yourself and the child. They may never fully accept you the way you'd like, but just do your best to develop a civil relationship with them.

EditSteps

EditShowing Interest in the Child

Initiate a connection, but let the child set the pace. Allow your stepchild to define the relationship they'd like to have with you. Express your interest, but leave the ball in their court as to how they want to move forward.^[1]
- Don't try to rush in and force a relationship. Simply say, "I have no interest in replacing your mom/dad, but I do want us to have a close relationship. You can think of me as an aunt/uncle or an adult friend. How does that sound?"
- If they show no interest in getting close to you, back off for a while. They may need time to accept the relationship.
Strike up conversations around their passions. Befriend your stepchild just like you would anyone else— by talking about what they're interested in. If you know your stepdaughter is into ballet, ask her opinion on a dance routine. If your stepson likes anime, tell him to catch you up on his favorite show.^[2]
- Once you get them talking be sure to make occasional eye contact and engage in the conversation to show you're listening.
- Ask open-ended questions that keep the conversation going, like "So, what got you interested in that?"
Carve out one-on-one time for something fun. Take an interest in your stepchild's hobbies, share yours, or develop a new one together. This helps you spend quality time together without awkwardly trying to come up with exciting topics.^[3]
- For instance, if they like baseball, throw a ball around in the backyard. If you like woodworking, give them a crash course and teach them to make something.
Engage in a way that's comfortable to them. Coming off as a friend to your stepchild can be challenging, especially if the kid is intimidated or standoffish. Help them relax with you by getting on the same level with them. Interacting with them on a comfortable level could help break down any walls they may have built up.^[4]
- If they are on the floor playing with Legos, physically get down there and join them!
- Don't insist on face-to-face conversations if they're a bit shy. Try interacting with them while playing a video game or watching a movie -- whatever they prefer.

EditBuilding Trust

Allow the child to call you by whatever name they're comfortable with. What a child calls you will depend on their unique preferences, but you certainly shouldn't demand they call you "Mom" or "Dad." Have a talk and decide on a name that works for you both.^[5]
- You might say, "So, what would you like to call me, Peter? Let's think of a name we both like."
Be open with your stepchild. To forge a bond with your stepchild, you'll need to be forthcoming. If you play your cards too close to your chest, they may distrust you. Distrust can hinder your chances of bonding, so be straightforward and honest.^[6]
- You might say, "Let's start by getting to know one another. Is there anything you'd like to know about me?"
- Even if they don't have any questions upfront, say something like, "My door is always open if you have questions or want to talk. Okay?"
Gauge the child's reaction when it comes to giving affection. As you slowly start building a relationship with your stepchild, it's natural to want to show affection. Before you do this, look for cues that your stepchild is ready and comfortable with your attempts.^[7]
- Do they back away if you put a hand on their shoulder? If not, then they're probably cool with it.
- You might also ask them how they feel about affection. Something like, "Is it okay if I give you a hug?" should help you figure out their stance on the matter.
Avoid being the one to discipline the child. Disciplining should be left to the biological parents, at least at first. Early on, your focus should simply be on building a positive relationship with your stepchild.^[8]
- This doesn't mean you won't have a voice— just let your spouse be the one who verbalizes any punishments.
- If they want to involve you in the decision-making, have that talk away from the kids.
Try to be civil with the child's other parent. One of the most important things to remember here is that you are all part of the same team, and you all have the children's best interests at heart. Regardless of any differences, try to maintain a mature and cordial relationship with the other parent.^[9]
- Don't speak negatively about the child's parent in front of the child.
- If they have a story to share about their other parent, listen and respond positively.
Be patient and extra sensitive. Whatever circumstances brought about the end of your stepchild's parent's relationship, they are likely upsetting for them. Give them time to process all the new changes an make room for you in their life.^[10]
- Your relationship with your stepchild may never be "ideal." Still, by allowing things to naturally develop without forcing them, you'll have a much better chance of building a lasting bond.

EditLiving Together

Give stepchildren the same chores and expectations as everyone else. Set clear and firm guidelines about what you expect in your household and have these rules apply to everyone, whether they live there full-time or only on occasion.^[11]
- By giving stepchildren the same rules and expectations, they actually become a part of the family instead of feeling like outsiders whenever they visit.
- If they are living there full-time, both you and your spouse should sit down with them and discuss the rules and expectations for your household.
Allow space for the child and biological parent to bond. Don't crowd your stepchild or expect to always spend time with them. Give them a chance to be with your spouse without you being present.^[12]
- This shows that you respect the pre-existing relationship and allows them to nurture the bond they share with their parent.
Make communication a part of daily life. Talking about things is important in all families, especially blended families. Create a habit of discussing everything during typical routines and rituals so that everyone is on the same page.^[13]
- For example, everyone might share some part of their day during dinnertime. Communication during chores or hobbies helps you get to know each other without the pressure of a face-to-face talk.
- If the child is resistant to communicating with you, try using personal stories to tell them more about you. They may come around once they know you better.
Create space for everyone. Blending households is never an easy thing, but try your best to consider the kids in any household changes you make. Ensure that all children have a space of their own, even if they have to share rooms.^[14]
- You might help them feel more included by asking what paint color they'd like in a bedroom or taking them shopping for decor.
- Also, give them some freedom to express themselves, such as hanging a sign reading "Daisy's Room" to claim their space.

EditConversation Help

Conversation with Stepchild about their Interests

Ways to Build Trust with Your Stepchild

EditTips

Remember that your stepchild is innocent, regardless of the circumstances. Don't take it out in them if you have a problem with their other parent or your spouse.
Be realistic. Your stepchildren may never become extremely close to you or act like your children. This does not mean that you have failed or that you are a bad step-parent. Simply strive for a positive, civil relationship.
Use humor to diffuse tension when it arises. This situation is challenging, but it doesn't have to feel like a burden. Stay light-hearted and open-minded.

EditVideo

EditReferences

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How to Relieve Wrist Pain from Lifting

Posted: 02 Apr 2019 05:00 PM PDT

A tender, painful wrist can make it difficult to use your hands. Fortunately, most pain will go away once you've rested your wrists and reduced the swelling. Pain relievers and ice packs will make you more comfortable as your wrists heal. Once they've recovered from the lifting injury, strengthen the muscles in your forearms to prevent another injury. Doing simple stretching exercises, using athletic straps, and lifting smaller amounts can protect your wrists.

EditSteps

EditReducing Wrist Pain

Avoid lifting or other heavy activity for several days. If you feel pain after lifting, exercising, or stretching, avoid putting pressure or stretching your wrists until the pain goes away. This can take several days depending on how injured your wrists are.^[1]
- Resting the wrists can reduce inflammation and prevent more damage to the muscles around your wrists.
- Some movement may help your wrists, however, by maintaining your range of motion. You can do normal daily activities, such as typing or cleaning.
Do wrist circles to keep your wrists flexible. As long as you do not have any fractures or tears in your wrist, wrist circles can improve your range of motion, reduce stiffness, and promote healing. To do wrist circles, slowly roll your wrist clockwise up to 10 times. Next, go counterclockwise for 10 times.^[2]
- If you need support, wear wrist splints while you do normal daily activities to prevent re-injury. Buy wrist splints from a pharmacy or supermarket. Avoid wearing them for too long, as they could reduce your wrist's mobility.^[3]
Apply ice packs to your wrists. Place ice packs on your wrists and hold them there for 10 minutes. You can do this once every hour for the first 1 to 2 days that your wrists hurt.^[4]
- If you don't have ice packs, wrap ice cubes in a wet dish towel and hold these over your wrists. Avoid placing ice directly on your skin.
Apply heat to your wrists if the pain continues. While ice is best right after an injury, heat can promote healing and reduce pain a day or 2 after the injury. Put heat on your wrists for 15-20 minutes. Turn on a heating pad or soak a towel in hot water.^[5]
- For the most benefit, alternate heat and ice on your wrists.
Get a massage or rub your forearms. Professional massage therapy can relieve wrist pain, reduce swelling, and relieve inflammation. A massage therapist will focus on the muscles in your forearms since these control your wrist movements. You can also rub the inner parts of your forearms near the elbows to get quick relief.^[6]
Take over-the-counter pain relievers. Buy a pain reliever that will reduce inflammation in your wrists and make you more comfortable. Follow the manufacturer's dosing instructions to take ibuprofen or acetaminophen. You may need OTC pain relievers for a few days after injuring your wrists.^[7]
Get medical treatment, if necessary. If you've rested your wrist and taken steps to relieve the pain, but it still hurts after 1 to 2 weeks, contact your doctor. If you have a physical therapist, you can also schedule an appointment with them. You should also get medical treatment if:^[8]
- You have sharp pain.
- The pain is too severe to treat with OTC pain relievers.
- Your wrist swells up.

EditStrengthening Your Wrists

Wrap your wrists with a strap or tape. When you're ready to lift again, protect your wrists from injury before you begin. Wrap your wrists with athletic tape or put wrist straps on before you lift. These can relieve some of the pressure you'll be putting on your recovering wrists.^[9]
Do bending stretches to strengthen your muscles. Prevent tension from building up in your muscles by gently stretching before you lift. Keep your forearms and elbows straight while you bend your wrists up. Hold the stretch for 30 to 60 seconds. Bend your wrists in the opposite direction and hold the stretch for 30 to 60 more seconds.^[10]
- You can also do this stretch throughout the day to improve your wrists' range of motion.
Practice rotating your wrists 3 times a day. Bend your elbows to a 90-degree angle and keep the palms of your hands facing down towards the ground. Hold this position for 5 to 10 seconds. Then turn your hands over so your wrists and forearms twist around. The palms of your hands should now be facing up. Hold this position for 5 to 10 seconds. Do 10 repetitions of these twists about 3 times a day.^[11]
Reduce the amount you lift. Start with lighter weights than you're used to lifting and gradually add weight as your wrists become stronger. If you add weight and start to feel wrist pain, take a break and use less weight when you start lifting again.^[12]
Keep your wrists in a neutral position when you lift. Pay attention to how you use your wrists as you lift. They shouldn't be curling or taking on the bulk of the weight. Instead, your wrists should be straight or neutral. Keep the back of your hand lined up flat with your forearm. For example, if you're doing bicep curls, keep your wrists straight as you bring the weights toward you.^[13]
- Consider asking a trainer for tips on how to reduce pressure or keep your wrists straight.
- If you're struggling to keep your wrists neutral, you might need to change how you lift. For example, to do push-ups, you can push up on your knuckles to keep your wrists straight.

EditThings You'll Need

Wrist splints
Over-the-counter pain relievers
Ice packs
Wrist straps or athletic tape

EditReferences

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How to Make Wedding Signs

Posted: 02 Apr 2019 09:00 AM PDT

There is no better way to make a wedding your own than by making your own signs. Try placing a big sign in front of the venue to announce the event and welcome guests. Also design signs to guide guests, such as by pointing out where to sit or leave gifts. Add your own personal touch to the signs to make the wedding a day to remember!

EditSteps

EditTransferring a Printed Design

Purchase plywood boards from a home improvement store. Plywood boards are cheap, so they are commonly used for homemade signs. Preparing the wood isn't necessary, but you can refine it by sanding the wood with a 60 to 80 medium-grit sandpaper followed by a 100 to 180 fine-grit sandpaper. Also try staining it to give it a unique color fitting a formal celebration.^[1]
- You can also cut the wood with a handsaw or circular saw if you want your sign to be a specific size.
- Staining is good for darkening and preserving wood. Use a paintbrush to coat the wood in a commercial stainer.
Create your design on a word processor. Choose a classy font from the drop-down menu and type out the words you want to appear on your sign. Use the size settings to make the words as large as you need them to be on your sign.^[2]
- For more space, try flipping the page to landscape mode using the settings tab in the upper-right corner of the screen.
- Make the font big, since people will be reading your sign from afar.
Print out the design components on paper. For smaller signs, you may be able to print the whole design in 1 document. If you are short on space, break the design into smaller pieces. Print it 1 word at a time so the design looks as big and impressive as it needs to be for a wedding.
- To print 1 word at a time, move the other words to separate word processor files. Then print each file.
- If you print words together in the same document, leave a few spaces between them. You may cut the paper to separate the words, making them easier to arrange.
Tape the design on top of the sign. Lay your sign down on a flat surface, then arrange your design pages on top of it. Make sure all the words are the right size before you start drawing. Once you are ready, hold the paper down with masking tape.^[3]
- You can use graphite transfer paper from a craft store to make the design transfer show up better. Place the matte side face-down beneath the design.
Outline your design with a sharp pencil. The pencil should be sharp enough that it pushes the lead into the wood, so that you can see the words once you remove the paper. Make sure to trace around all of the letters in your design.^[4]
- Hold the pencil down with firm pressure but don't let it tear through the paper.
Remove the papers from the sign. Peel back the tape to get a glimpse of your design in action. You should be able to see the outline without much trouble. Erase, adjust, and retrace your design as needed until it looks perfect.
Color the design with markers. Chalk ink markers create bright, white lines that match well with the other art on display, like cake or the bride's dress. Use it to outline the letters a second time, then color them in.^[5]
- For more color, try paint or paint markers. All of these supplies are available at most art supply stores.
Draw additional decorations on your sign. Take a step back and admire your work. You can customize your sign further if it seems a little empty. Consider printing out an image using the same process and tracing it onto the sign. Alternatively, paint on flowers or other decorations by hand to add your own personal flare.

EditPainting a Design with Stencils

Spray paint the sign with a background color. Plywood is the main choice for sign material, although other surfaces work too. Pick up a can of spray paint in a color that is pleasant as a background, such as black. Working in a well-ventilated area, spray the paint across the wood in short, even strokes.^[6]
Wait up to 5 minutes for the paint to dry. Follow the manufacturer's instructions on how long to wait until the paint dries.
- The paint doesn't need to be fully dry, since you'll be applying multiple coats.
Paint the sign again up to 5 times. Spray painting typically means a few coats of paint. Go over the sign once, then wait at least 5 minutes for the paint to dry a little. Repeat until the sign's coloring looks smooth and even.
Wait a day for the paint to dry fully. Leave the sign in an area where it won't be disturbed by you, a pet, or the elements.
Place adhesive stencils over the board. Before removing the adhesive backing and pressing the stencils onto your sign, take a step back and confirm it look the way you want it to. Ask a friend to confirm they can read everything from afar.^[7]
- Purchase adhesive stencils at your local craft supply store.
- You may be able to work with non-adhesive stencils. Try to hold these down with masking tape.
- If you can't find a stencil you want, try making a design on a computer or by cutting stencil paper with a craft knife.
Paint over the stencils with acrylic paint. Make sure you're painting directly over the stencil, and avoid getting paint under the stencil, which could ruin the words. Brush paint until the stencil is fully covered.^[8]
- Spray paint works well for larger stencils or if you use painter's tape to protect the space around the stencils.^[9]
- Instead of using stencils and acrylics, you can use stickers and spray paint. Peel the stickers and place them on the sign, then spray paint over them. It's a fast way to make a simple sign.
Remove the stencils immediately after painting them. As soon as you are done paining, peel off the stencils. If you can't to keep them, clean them by washing them in the sink with warm water and whatever dish soap you have on hand. The stencils are reusable, so set them aside in case you need them again.^[10]
- If you don't plan on using the stencils again, you can always throw them away.
Finish the signs with stickers and additional decorations. Now comes the best part. Once you have the basic design in place, come up with ways to personalize the sign for the big event. You can glue on stickers, ribbons, photos, and other decorations. Try holding them in place with decoupage glue, wood glue, or clear tape.^[11]
- You can always paint on special pictures or messages. Get creative and make this sign your own.

EditMaking a Chalkboard Sign

Sand the plywood down with a 100 to 180 fine-grit sandpaper. Pick out a solid piece of plywood from a home improvement store or improvise with scrap wood. Smooth it out before attempting to paint it. Rub the entire surface gently with a piece of sandpaper rated between 100 and 180-grit.^[12]
- To wear down tough spots on the wood, start with a 60 to 80 medium grit sandpaper. Follow up with the fine-grit sandpaper.
- Signs are most often made out of wood, but you can attempt to make yours out of glass or metal. Follow the same steps but skip the sanding.
Paint the sign with a roller and chalkboard paint. Pour the paint into a tray and load it onto the roller. Then go over the sign once to coat it. Cover the entire sign, applying the paint as evenly as possible.^[13]
Wait about 2 hours for the paint to dry. Read the manufacturer's instructions on the label to find out how long to wait. The paint should become dry to the touch within 2 hours. Avoid waiting longer, or else the paint will settle completely.
Sand the paint after it dries. Use the fine-grit sandpaper again. Go over the entire sign to smooth out the paint layer. If you find any difficult spots, use the medium-grit sandpaper first.
Repeat painting and sanding up to 5 times. Roll on another layer of paint, then let it dry for another 2 hours. The trick is to get the paint to look thick and even. You shouldn't be able to see any wood once you're finished.^[14]
Dry the sign for 72 hours. Set the chalkboard sign aside for a few days. Make sure it's in a location where it won't be disturbed by an accidental passerby, pet, or the elements.
- If your sign is ruined while it's drying, you can simply paint and sand it again!
Rub chalk over the sign to protect your sign. In order to protect the chalkboard once you've painted it, rub a piece of chalk until you've completely covered the sign's surface. Then, simply remove it with a clean rag, and your sign is ready!^[15]
- You can repeat this every time you erase your chalkboard for a longer lasting sign.
Draw your design on the board with chalk. Use the chalk stick to create a quick but temporary design. Chalk ink pencils and markers are other options available to you. These aren't permanent either, but they come in a variety of colors you can use to make brighter signs.^[16]

EditCreating a Pointed Sign

Cut the wood to size. First, obtain a piece of plywood, then cut it to the width you want your finished sign to be. The employees at your local home improvement store can help you with this. They can also cut the wood to length if you know how long you want the finished sign to be.^[17]
- You can also cut the sign yourself using a hand saw, circular saw, or miter saw. Be sure to take safety precautions, such as by wearing gloves and polycarbonate goggles.
Trace and cut lines on the end of the wood to create the arrow shape. Draw diagonal lines from about down the longer ends to the center point with a pencil. Once you've drawn your arrow lines, erase and adjust as necessary before cutting.
- You can cut your arrow lines at your local home improvement store or at home.
- The measurements vary depending on your sign. Adjust your lines as needed to make them even.
- If you don't want to cut the wood, you can also simply draw an arrow on the sign!
Sand the wood with 120 to 180 fine-grit sandpaper. All you need is a single piece of fine-grit sandpaper. Lightly rub down the entire board. It should feel smooth to the touch. If you notice any rough spots, go over them with a 60 to 80 medium-grit sandpaper, followed by the fine-grit sandpaper.
Color the wood using a wood stainer. Put on rubber gloves before handling a commercial wood stainer. Stir the stainer with a brush, then paint it onto the wood. Go over the entire surface in short, even strokes. Stainer gives wood a dark, refined color that goes well with the lighter colors prevalent at weddings.
Let the stainer dry for up to 2 days. Read the manufacturer's instructions to find out how long you need to wait. Make sure you set the sign aside so it isn't disturbed.
Apply another coat of stainer if you want a darker sign. Paint on the stainer the same way you did before. You will need to wait another 2 days for the sign to dry. Set it aside in a safe spot, then use your down time to assemble your design.^[18]
Print your design on a computer if you want a stenciled look. An easy way to create a pointed sign is with the printed transfer method. In this, you create your design in a word document on the computer. Directional signs usually use just 1 word, so keep your sign simple. Make the word the same size as your sign.^[19]
Transfer your stencil onto the sign using a sharp pencil or draw your design directly on the sign. Tape the design paper on top of your sign. All you need is a sharp pencil to finish transferring the design. Trace around all the letters. Press firmly, but don't let the pencil break through the paper.^[20]
Color in the letters using a chalk marker. White chalk markers are contrast well against stained wood, but you can try other colors. Remove the papers from the sign, then use the marker to trace around the letters. Then color them in to finish the design.^[21]
- Your sign should look pretty vibrant now. You usually don't need to add any extra decorations here. Keep it simple so everyone realizes the sign is guiding them.

EditTips

Get creative! Although wood is a common choice, you can make your signs out of all sorts of material. You can also repurpose scrap material to create unique signs.
Always think of the end result of your finished sign. Consider the wedding venue, theme, and other decorations and design your sign to match these aspects.

EditWarnings

Be careful when using paint. Work in a well-ventilated area.

EditThings You'll Need