| How to Ask a Girl Out over Text Long Distance Posted: 12 Aug 2021 01:00 AM PDT Text messages can be a great way to stay in touch with someone even if they live super far away from you. If you've got a good thing going with a girl and you're messaging each other back and forth, why not give it a shot and ask her out? It may be easier than you realize! To help you do it, we've put together a handy list of tips and ideas about what you can say to increase your chances of getting her to say yes. [Edit]Start with texts that will make her smile. - Be playful and keep it lighthearted. Send her something funny or sweet to get the conversation started. Start things off on the right foot by putting her in a good mood so she'll be much more open to the idea of going out with you.[1]
- You could try, "Hey there pretty lady. How's your day been?" or "You've been on my mind all day so I figured I'd text you. How are you?"
- You could also try sending her a funny meme and say, "I thought you might like this."
[Edit]Try asking her for advice to get date ideas. - It's also a great way to set up asking her out. If you aren't completely sure what she's into or if you're looking for date ideas, try asking her for help. Tell her you're looking for something you think she might be interested in and if she has any suggestions.[2]
- You could try, "I know you love sushi, it's like all you talk about! Do you have a favorite restaurant in your city?"
- Another option is something like, "Do you know any good wing spots around you? I know you like it spicy!"
- It doesn't have to be food-related, though. You could try, "I was thinking about going hiking when I come to town. You're into the great outdoors, know any good places?"
[Edit]See if she's down for a virtual dinner date. - Have dinner without leaving your home! Ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you at the same time and you can pretend like you're at a restaurant together. Use an app like FaceTime, Skype, or Zoom to do a video call while you eat together.[3]
- You could try, "Since we're so far away, why don't we do a video call at 7 and we can eat dinner together at the same time!"
- You could even exchange recipes so you're both cooking and eating the same thing.
[Edit]Try watching a movie together virtually. - Netflix and chill, even from a distance. Offer up the idea of watching a movie together at the same time. If she's interested, pick out a movie together on a streaming app like Netflix or Hulu. Set a time for you guys to get on a video call together on an app like Facetime or Zoom and start the movie at the same time![4]
- There are even apps like Google Watch Party that allow you to watch the same movie or show together while you're on a video call.
[Edit]Suggest a coffee date to keep it casual. - It's a low-pressure way to ask her out. Who doesn't like coffee? Plus, if you've only been texting her, it could be a great opportunity to meet face to face without the high stakes of a formal date. Try asking her if she can meet you for coffee when you're in town.
- You could try, "Hey! I'll be visiting my cousin in a few weeks. You wanna grab some coffee?"
- If she happens to be visiting your area, you could try, "Awesome! Let's get together and grab a coffee."
[Edit]Plan an in-person dinner date if you can. - Pick out a great first-date spot. If you plan to be in her area, or if she's visiting near where you live, try asking if she'd like to grab dinner with you. Pick out a fun dinner spot with food that you'll both enjoy and set a date and time to meet up. If she's into it, she'll say yes![5]
- You could try, "So, there are some really great Mexican restaurants around here. Would you want to come check one out with me when you get to town?"
- You could also try, "I used to love going to this burger joint when I was a kid. I haven't been there in ages. Would you want to come with me when I come to visit?"
[Edit]Visit a museum or an art gallery. - Go with a more cultured approach if she's into it. If she's a fan of art, paintings, or history, a museum is a great choice. Look for some in her area if you're visiting near her, or pick out some cool ones around you if she's coming to your area. Ask her if she'd like to check it out with you.
- Try, "I know you're into cocktails, and there's this really cool museum all about their history if you want to come check it out with me."
- You could also try, "There's a great Alexander McQueen exhibit going on at the museum in town. You wanna go with me?"
[Edit]Ask her if she'd like to join in on your plans. - Try going with the direct approach. Don't stress about whether or not she'll say yes. Just calmly ask her if she'd like to come with you if you already have a planned event or party. Keep it super simple so there's no confusion.[6]
- For instance, you could try, "I'm coming to town for a friend of mine's wedding. Do you want to come as my date?"
- You could also try, "I'm visiting my parents later this year, would you want to come along with me?"
[Edit]Work out the details if she says yes. - Have fun planning out the date with her. Congratulations! You've done it. Talk to her about the logistics of getting together, which may be a little trickier and require more planning since you don't live near each other. Coordinate travel plans and set a date and time to get together.[7]
- For instance, you could try, "Great! I get into town on Sunday the 18th. Wanna get together then?"
[Edit]Be cool and accept it if she says no. - You don't want to ruin any future chances by getting upset. Maybe she's not open to the idea of a long-distance relationship, or maybe she's just not interested right now. Whatever her reasons, it's important that you accept her answer. Stay calm and tell her it's no problem. You can still keep texting her, and who knows, maybe one day she'll be more open to the idea of going out with you.[8]
- Try something short and sweet like, "No worries! Just figured I'd ask."
[Edit]Verify her info if you've never met her before. - Make sure she's not pretending to be someone else. "Catfishing" is when someone pretends to be someone they're not in order to get closer to someone. If she has a social media or dating profile, run her profile picture through a reverse image search on Google to make sure it's legit. Take a look through their social media to see if it's real and doesn't look fishy or like a bot account.[9]
- Don't give someone your bank account or financial information if you don't really know them.
- If she's had a bad day or is super distracted, you may want to wait for another time to ask her out. She might be more open to it.
[Edit]References |
| How to Learn to Swim As an Adult Posted: 11 Aug 2021 05:00 PM PDT Swimming is a great way to stay fit and have fun in the water, and it can be learned at any age. Whether you've never set foot in a pool before or just need a refresher, you can become a competent swimmer with a little effort and a positive attitude. Gradually get used to moving and breathing in the water, learn some basic strokes, and consider taking adult swim lessons to perfect your technique.[1] [Edit]Getting Comfortable in the Water - Spend some time in the shallow end of the pool. If you don't have much experience in the water, it can be helpful to get comfortable just being in the pool before you tackle swimming. Spend some time moving around in water that is shallow enough that you can stand on the bottom of the pool with your head still above the water.
- Buy ear plugs and goggles to make swimming more comfortable. Having water in your eyes and ears isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it can feel strange and distracting when you first begin swimming. Chlorine can also irritate your eyes and ears over time, so it's a good idea to be prepared with goggles and ear plugs.[2]
- Try goggles on before buying them, and make sure they fit tightly without causing uncomfortable pressure on the bridge of your nose.
- Practice holding your breath with your face underwater. Putting your face in the water can be a little intimidating at first, but after a few times it will feel natural. Stand with your body as far into the water as you're comfortable with, then hold your breath and dip your face into the water.
- Once that feels comfortable, you can try submerging your whole body in the shallow end while holding your breath.
- If you're worried about water entering your nose, you can pinch your nostrils shut with your fingers.[3]
- Don't blow out the air in your lungs while you're under the water—that will make you less buoyant.[4]
- Have a friend pull you through the water while you float on your back. Once you're in the water, lean back and spread your arms and legs out. Have someone take one of your hands and pull you slowly through the water. This is a good way to practice floating and moving through the water without having to worry about holding your breath.[5]
- Don't worry if you have trouble keeping your entire body afloat. Your legs may angle slightly downward, which is fine.
- Practice "bobbing" in the deep end. Go to deeper water and hold on to the side of the pool or a ladder. Submerge your whole body while you exhale, then come up to inhale. Do this several times, and try to exhale for longer than you inhale. This will help you get comfortable breathing when you can't touch the bottom of the pool.[6]
[Edit]Mastering Basic Motions - Practice treading water. Once you are in the pool, move your legs back and forth in a scissor motion, keeping them straight but not rigid. Then put both arms in the water and gently wave them back and forth horizontally, as if you are smoothing out the water beneath you.[7]
- Swim with your legs while holding onto a flotation device. Kicking properly is a very important part of swimming, and it can be easier to develop your technique when you don't have to think about your arms at the same time. Get a kick board or pool noodle and use it to support your upper body in the water while you move yourself forward with your legs.
- Practice the flutter kick by moving your legs as if you were walking. This is the most basic swimming kick, and you can do it by keeping your legs straight and moving them back and forth in the water. Practice this while holding a flotation device until you feel confident.[8]
- While your legs should mostly be straight, it's okay to let your knees bend by an inch or two as you move them through the water. Keeping them rigid may actually slow you down.
- Do a breast stroke kick by pushing your legs out in circular motions. While holding on to a flotation device, practice moving through the water by bending your knees up towards your sides, then kicking them outwards and bringing them back together behind you. Your feet should flex outward as you kick, and your legs should stay under the water.[9]
- Work on your arm strokes. You can do this while standing in the water until you get comfortable, then combine it with kicking to move through the water. Move your arms forward in alternating circles with your hands slightly cupped. Try to "scoop" the water backwards as you move your arms.[10]
- Keep your arms as straight as possible, and extend them as far as possible when reaching forward.
[Edit]Learning Swimming Techniques - Do a backstroke to practice swimming with your face out of the water. Float on your back with your legs stretched out straight. Gently move your legs in a flutter kick and move your arms through the water in wide circles like windmills. Be careful not to splash too much with your legs, as this will slow you down and make you tired faster.[11]
- Typically, you should move backwards in the direction your head is pointing when doing the backstroke. Your arms should be moving backwards like you are pitching underhand.
- When learning new swimming techniques such as a backstroke, consider working with a coach or instructor so that they can observe your form and help you improve.[12]
- Practice doing a side-stroke. Keeping your head above water, move sideways by reaching one arm forward and stretching the other out behind you, then bring both arms in towards your body. You can do a kind of sideways breaststroke kick by bending both knees, kicking one out in front of you and the other behind you, then bringing them back together.[13]
- Reach your arms out at the same time you kick your legs, then bring them all back in at the same time.
- Try a breaststroke to practice exhaling underwater. For this stroke, both your arms and legs will be extending out and away from your body and then circling back in. Do a breaststroke kick while your arms move out straight in front of your chest, then sweep to the side as if you are parting the water in front of you.[14]
- You should exhale when your hands and knees are coming forward, and come up to inhale when you're pushing back with your arms and legs.
- Learn the freestyle once you're comfortable holding your breath. This is similar to the backstroke, but you'll be floating on your stomach. Do a flutter kick and move your arms forward through the water in a windmill motion. Exhale for 3 arm strokes, then turn your head to the side to inhale on the 4th stroke.[15]
- If you are dedicated to becoming a strong swimmer, consider adding regular cardio workouts to your exercise routine. Building up your strength can be a big help in improving your form and overall abilities.[16]
[Edit]References [Edit]Quick Summary |
| How to Stand Up for Yourself at Work Posted: 11 Aug 2021 09:00 AM PDT If you're being disrespected, bullied, or mistreated at work, it's important to stand up for yourself. This can be pretty uncomfortable, though, especially if being assertive doesn't come naturally to you. We totally understand! To help you out, we've compiled a list of ways to handle a variety of workplace scenarios. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself on the job—you absolutely deserve respect and fair treatment. [Edit]Stay calm no matter what. - Reacting in anger may come off as aggressive rather than assertive. We know it's not always easy to keep your cool in a tough situation, but do your best. Pause, take a few deep breaths, and give yourself a moment to think before saying anything. If you clap back in the heat of the moment, you may end up looking like the perpetrator rather than the victim.[1]
- If you need to, walk away for a few minutes to collect yourself. Once you're calmer, go back and address the situation in a civil, professional way.[2]
- If you're feeling upset about something, ask yourself, "How important is this right now? Is it going to be important a week from now?" That can help you get perspective on the issue.[3]
- A calm, assertive response is a good thing! It's a healthy way to let others know what you need and how you feel.[4]
[Edit]Disagree with colleagues respectfully. - Speak up without tearing the other person down. If you disagree with a colleague's opinion or solution to a problem, there's nothing wrong with speaking up about it. Try to avoid pitting your idea against theirs, though, which can seem aggressive. Instead, acknowledge the value of the other person's idea before introducing your own.[5]
- For example, "Kathy's proposal is solid and going that route could definitely benefit the company. I have another idea that may help us reach our quarterly goal even faster, though. What does everyone think about..."
- If you don't like the way your manager assigns shifts, politely offer an alternate solution. For example, "Mr. Sellers, I really appreciate that you want our shift assignments to be fair. Your recent changes got me thinking and I'd love to get your perspective on this alternative..."
[Edit]Address problems quickly. - A firm verbal response is the most effective approach. If a coworker says or does something inappropriate, don't go back to your desk and stew all day. Call out their bad behavior right away to nip it in the bud. Remember to stay calm, but use firm, direct language to tell them the behavior is unacceptable and needs to stop immediately.[6]
- For example, if someone calls you "Honey" in a meeting, immediately respond with, "I don't like being called that. Please use my name to address me."
- If a coworker tries to take credit for your work in a project meeting, let them finish speaking. Then, politely note your own contributions. For example, "Bill did a great job organizing the reports. With his help, I was able to analyze and file them a lot faster than usual."
- If you don't speak up quickly, your coworker (and anyone else who witnessed the act) will think it's fine to treat you that way.[7]
[Edit]Talk to the person in private. - They may not react well if you call them out in public. Aside from that, sometimes a public confrontation just doesn't feel quite right for that particular situation. For example, if a coworker talks over you in a meeting and they've never done that before, give them the benefit of the doubt! Wait until the meeting is over and talk to them about it privately.[8]
- You might say take them aside later and say, "I realize you probably didn't mean to do this, but when you interrupted me at the meeting earlier, I felt belittled and a bit embarrassed. Can you be more careful about that in the future?"
[Edit]Use questions instead of accusations. - Questions feel less confrontational. If you need to have a tough conversation with a colleague, try to avoid opening with aggressive statements like "I don't like the way you're doing this" or "I think your approach is wrong." The person will immediately feel judged and probably get defensive. You can still be assertive and speak your mind with questions.[9] For example:
- "Can you help me understand why Derrick got most of my assignments this week? Are you unhappy with the quality of my work?"
- "I'm not sure I understand why you CC'd the sales team on that email. I thought we were talking privately. Can you tell me why you did that?"
- "Would you mind explaining the new schedule? I know you must have a good reason for making changes, but our lunch breaks are 15 minutes shorter now."
[Edit]Unite with coworkers against a bully. - Bullies tend to assume their victims will stay quiet out of shame. If you're being bullied by a coworker, don't suffer in silence. Reach out to other coworkers who you trust and ask them if they've had any issues with the bully in the past. Bullying behavior is usually a pattern, so other people will probably come forward. Band together, discuss the situation, and support each other.[10]
- Come up with a game plan together. Your boss is more likely to take your complaint seriously if other employees back you up.
[Edit]Look at the situation objectively. - Some issues require a stronger response than others. If you're being bullied, treated unfairly, or harassed at work, you absolutely need to stand up for yourself. Responding in the heat of the moment is never wise, though, so take a moment to step back and look at the situation before you escalate things.[11] Unacceptable behaviors include:
- Coworkers gossiping about you or purposely excluding you
- Verbal abuse, yelling, or using profanity
- Purposely unclear tasks and unreasonable workloads
- Employees taking credit for your work
- Offensive jokes, nicknames, or comments
- Constant criticism, discrimination, or undeserved punishment
- Blocking opportunities for training or advancement[12]
[Edit]Collect evidence for a formal complaint. - You'll need some proof if you plan to make a formal complaint. Try keeping a daily journal to jot down incidents as they occur. Include the date, time, and as much detail about the event as possible (including names of any witnesses). Save any memos, emails, and other written communication, too.[13]
[Edit]Bring issues to your supervisor first. - This is the most professional way to handle a problem. If you need to take action or make a formal complaint about someone, go to your immediate supervisor first (assuming this person isn't the perpetrator). If you escalate an issue over your boss's head, they'll be blind sighted when the formal investigation starts (which doesn't reflect well on you).[14]
- You might say, "Rebecca, do you have a few minutes to speak to me privately in your office? I would love to get your perspective on some things I've been dealing with lately."
[Edit]Go to HR if nothing improves. - Do what you need to do to stand up for your rights at work. If your boss downplays or ignores your complaints, feel free to escalate the issue to the next level of management or go straight to HR. Be sure to bring all of your evidence to back up your claims.[15]
- If you feel like you need to speak up because you're overwhelmed or you're facing an unreasonable deadline, schedule a conversation with your boss where you make sure you're aligned on your responsibilities, goals, and expectations.[16]
[Edit]References |
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